Five-Hundred Word Challenge 119: Herman MacGuyman

It was just another day at the office for Herman MacGuyman.

Nothing was out of the ordinary, as was the case. Every day transitioned into the next without so much of a blink or a whisper of excitement.

He would always walk in, organise papers in an orderly fashion, slowly sift through emails about  business and watch the shade in his space slowly change as the sun passed by the building of which he chose to dedicate his working hours in.

It was just another day… or so he thought.

His usual routine was followed.

There was a bit less work than usual on this particular day, so to fill the time, he thought he’d get himself a coffee from the kitchen. He needed to find a way to remain productive in the early hours, lest he become slothful later.

He made his way to the kitchen, saying his hellos to the people he passed, then made his coffee once he reached his destination.

Double shot. Black. He didn’t want to play around with the politics of milk and sugar.

Once he had his brew, Herman began to make his way back to his desk, when, out of nowhere, a yak of considerable size burst through the lift doors.

It seemed enraged and bewildered by the fact that it somehow was in an office and not on its usual place of location.

It began charging around, taking down dividing walls and desks with great chaos and gusto.

Herman decided that this was not something that would be tolerated in his space. Well, not in the place where his work space happens to be located.

Herman walked up to the enraged yak and tried to address it in a polite manner.

“Excuse me yak, but please stop this nonsense. This is a place of work and your reckless disregard for all that we are doing here is something that we do not want to tolerate. Please leave now”, he said.

“My apologies good sir, but you see, I am enraged and bewildered and it has left me in a state of action and desecration of this sacred office space. You see, it was not of my doing that I ended up here. Well, perhaps it was, buy that is not  for me to say right now. I shall only stop when there is a solution”, replied the yak.

“Regardless of your situation, I must insist that you leave, for it is your reaction that is misplaced and simply destroying things here will not solve any of your issues”, Herman said in response.

“Then I must politely decline, for that would be far too logical for me. Besides which, I am a yak that is somehow talking in a language you can understand.  Therefore, I shall continue”, came the final response from the yak.

Having enough of this exchange, Herman grabbed the yak and escorted it forcefully to the lifts, sending it back down.

He then grabbed his coffee and resumed work.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 10:16:02

Slower than expected. Too much thinking for something that is not pithy.

Well, this one I like. It’s absurd.

I think.

Written at work.

About Stupidity Hole

I'm some guy that does stuff. Hoping to one day fill the internet with enough insane ramblings to impress a cannibal rat ship. I do more than I probably should. I have a page called MS Paint Masterpieces that you may be interested in checking out. I also co-run Culture Eater, an online zine for covering the arts among other things. We're on Patreon!
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