So yesterday I was at the toilets in Town Hall.

I was approaching the cubicles when some guy came out of one of them with a smug look on his face.

I wasn’t sure as to why he was smiling the way he was, but the toilet he came out of was clean and it was one of the ones with a bit more space, so I was happy.

I checked for toilet paper and there was none to be found.

I guess I knew why he was looking smug.

I went to another cubicle and someone had urinated all over the toilet seat.

WHY DO PEOPLE DO THIS?!

Why?

It’s not up to someone else to clean up after you, you dirty prick.

Just because it is a public toilet, it doesn’t mean you treat it poorly.

Other people need to use the toilet!

Do you piss all over your toilet when you’re at home?

If you don’t, then don’t treat public toilets poorly.

It’s not just for you.

If you do piss all over your toilet seat at home, that still isn’t justification for doing the same to public property.

How would you like it if you started doing that and someone caught you out?

It wouldn’t be very fun.

And to those who use a lot of toilet paper for no reason: Other people might need to use the damn toilet paper.

Seriously, fuck you both!

If you’re one of those people who want better public amenities and do this kind of shitty stuff, then you’ve got a shitty attitude. Treating public property in a bad way is not justifiable. You want better stuff? Treat the stuff we currently have well.

Don’t inconvenience other people just because you’re a selfish asshole who thinks that people need to pick up after you in some way due to some unjustifiable belief that you’re better than everyone else, or you’re to lazy to practice some basic fucking etiquette.

If you can’t aim into the bowl, then there’s this thing that you can do. IT’s a thing that is rather brilliant that we are all able to do. You can move the toilet seat into an upright position.

If that fails, there’s something even more brilliant.

You can sit on the toilet seat and then urinate into the toilet.

Doesn’t make you feel like a man? Stop being such a fearful asshole that you can’t reconcile the idea of sitting down whilst urinating with the idea of being a man. It doesn’t ruin your masculinity, although seeing as you thought it was a good idea to piss all over a toilet seat, you probably aren’t much of a man to begin with.

If you need to take all the remaining toilet paper, then maybe you should carry toilet paper with you. Stop wasting other people’s time.

I’ve said it before, but I do genuinely believe that if you can’t treat a toilet well, then you should be banned from using public toilets.

You should then be forced into mandatory training on how to use a toilet and if you don’t attend, you get fined.

Passing the course would require a 100% mark on every form of assessment. No ifs or buts. You don’t get 100% on everything? That’s another fine.

You fail the course? Another fine and required to start from scratch.

Caught using a public toilet during this period? A fine.

Pass and course and then treat a public toilet poorly? A ban for a period of time, a fine, then have to take the course again.

I don’t think that that is harsh because it is not hard to not be an asshole.