More an image of the beach, but the log is pretty prominent.
There’s a moodiness to this that I like. Perhaps a sense of isolation.
I hope you enjoy.
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Hair’s Out
I went to a spot in The Blue Mountains, in part to take some photos of myself. It’s a windy place, or at least my prior experience there had it be windy, and I was glad it was windy this time. Took a bunch of silly photos, including this one which I quite like, partly due to my odd form, and partly due to how splayed my hair appears.
This is my submission into Leanne Cole‘s “Monochrome Madness” for this week, and my last submission overall. It has been a good run, and I’ll miss it dearly.
Sarah of Travel with Me hosts the next one, and she has chosen the theme of “The Letter P”.
This challenge is open to all, and I recommend joining in. If want to, check out more information about it here, and include the tag “monochrome-madness” when you share your photo. If you’d prefer not to join in, then at the least check out Leanne’s photography, and what other people submit.
I hope you enjoy.
Posted in Photography
Tagged breeze, hair, monochrome, monochrome-madness, motion, out, person, portrait, splayed, wind
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Mercury, Part 5
Another of these, (here’s the previous four), and I might share the rest tomorrow. Don’t know yet. Still bad writing, still want to share it.
I hope you enjoy.
—
It was the third alarm that woke Purvell up. From a deep sleep involving dreaming about things that they would not be able to remember anything about other than vague notions of things happening and vague, lingering emotions they found themselves jolted into a state of grumbling and wanting to go back to sleep. Unfortunately it still was a day of work and it was likely to be another day of very little happening.
They rushed about, getting ready as quickly as they could and fixed themselves a small breakfast before taking off to the observatory. It was a nice day and as such it was a nice day for cycling which, as always, was just long enough. Still, it felt far longer than usual and that may have had to do with being as tired as they were. Maybe they’d be able to sleep at their desk, but that was probably not worth the risk. They probably could get away with it, but if something went wrong and they were the only ones who could take care of it, they weren’t sure that they’d be able to wake up quickly enough to be of any use.
Purvell reached work easily enough and it was a day of days, as it usually was. Clouds hung in the air and seemed to drift in the way that only clouds of a certain size can. They spent a little bit of time looking up before parking their bike and heading on in.
Into the foyer they walked and they went and they attempted to scan themselves in, but the scanner was not working. It was not the first time it had happened this month and it probably wasn’t going to be the last and so Purvell begun knocking loudly. Some of the evening crew should still be on – they would be wrapping up pretty son, but some should still be on – and so they hoped one would answer. Thankfully Purvell didn’t have to wait so long.
One of the staff came on and opened the door. They talked about whether they should leave it propped open or not and decided to wait and see. Whilst they were walking to their working space, the scientist told Purvell about how two people came around trying to ask about Mercury Retrograde. They thought it a silly thing, coming around at a late hour at night and told them that the observatory was open in the morning before telling them to go away. Purvell wondered if these two people had seen the same thing. It certainly was odd to come late at night. Maybe they were drunk. Maybe it was coincidence.
After eating Purvell went to the shower and showered as cold as they could tolerate. They felt it would be better to be s awake as possible now rather than later.
Soon they found themselves at their little space once more and, after loading everything up and punching in data from watching Mercury’s path, they set about trying to kill some time. There still were plenty of hours left in the day and so there were plenty of hours they were able to spend waiting for something to happen that they could take care of.
This was a time where Purvell hoped that they’d be afforded the opportunity to stretch their legs and go wandering, but of course they were unable to for now as they could still be needed. They had a strong feeling that they wouldn’t be needed at all, but just in case they had to be there. Just in case they needed to make sure that they were at the ready if they had to take care of something and so once more the day seemed to stretch out into eons compressed into hours and they were there, feeling and living the whole thing and unable to get away from it in any way, shape or form.
Eventually they decided to let go and go for a walk. It was a much better use of their time and they were sure that something would be along their way by the time they got back, or at least they hoped that something would be there for them to take care of. Of course there was no telling at this particular juncture in time, but hope was always there.
They did the rounds and kept an eye out for Rigby and Clay, assuming that they would’ve been there somewhere, but neither seemed to rear their head.
Eventually Purvell made it to the telescope and thought about what they saw the evening prior. They thought about it and thought about how it probably meant nothing, if anything. They wondered if this was some sort of new phenomena, or if it was really hold and they wondered if perhaps Mercury had interacted with something near it that caused the stretch to occur. Maybe it was no stretch at all and what they had seen was light coming back to Earth in a really weird and delayed way, and that’s why it looked like there was a trail. Of course there was no real telling without further research and there probably wouldn’t be anything more unless they could discern something more than what they saw.
They wondered what else they’d collect data on, then decided to head back to their desk and see if they could view the footage again. It was something of a eureka moment for Purvell; specifically, the kind of one you have when something really obvious seems like something rather genius due to how tired you are. Still, it was a good moment for them as it meant they’d be able to spend at least a bit of the day doing something.
There were some issues with getting their computer to access the recording, as though the computer was resisting attempts to view it, but it gave up and let Purvell continue on. They first made sure the data was definitely logged. It had been logged in the morning, but they just wanted to double check. They then created a backup copy of the data and included the additional information from what they had seen, so they had a comparative that, if more evidence presented itself, they’d be able to refer to and continue on from there. They then watched the footage over.
It seemed as though the trail had completed disappeared. There was no glitch; there was nothing other than Mercury moving across the sky. However, after a while it became apparent that there was a slight smoothing left behind Mercury as it moved across the sky. It was strange and it invited curiosity, but at the same time Purvell was willing to chalk it up to visual data glitching. They wanted to know more as they felt it meant more, but they also were too tired to care enough to go on with further research on this particular smoothness.
Within themselves they began to argue about what they should and should not do when they heard that two people had come looking to find out more about Mercury Retrograde. This was not something they wanted to deal with at this particular moment, but they needed something more to do and so once more abandoned their desk in pursuit of some sort of engagement.
They met up with the two people who looked unassuming enough, though one had a bit of a wilder look in their eyes and the three of them proceeded to discuss Mercury retrograde and why it occurs. They went into detail about how it appears and what happens as it travels across the sky, and how it is interesting that it appears in the sky even thoguh Mercury is a bit farther away, asking it seem much closer and smaller and more insignificant than it is even though we know it is largeish and much farther away.
One of the two asked about Mercury doing strange things doing retrograde, which Purvell met with silence initially, for they needed to think about the answer they were going to provide. To them this seemed like two other people saw what Purvell saw and perhaps this could lead to some sort of confirmation that there was something more to it, but three people hardly make a consensus strong enough to put something forward. On a personal level it meant that Purvell was assured that they weren’t going crazy in some manner. However, they still felt they could not say anything about it and so, after thinking for what felt like an additional eternity, they advised that there was no information they could provide, but they’d note that the two had seen what they saw.
After describing it to Purvell, Purvell invited them to check out more of the public access areas whilst they headed on back to their desk to note the information, then said their farewells.
Purvell found themselves hurrying a little faster than they would have liked. Getting to their desk sooner wasn’t going to make much of a difference in how quickly things happened, but they still rushed regardless. Once they sat down they made notes of what was discussed. They then decided to head back to the telescope to kill some more time.
When they got there they decided to take a look at whatever it was pointing at at that particular time. However, they found that there were issues with the viewing, as though something internal had broken.
They gathered a few other people to take a look and, confirming that none of them were imagining it, found themselves at an impasse. How soon could they get someone out to have a look at this? This could halt a good deal of research and reporting and so this needed to be addressed as quickly as possible. They began to leave the room when a creak cut through the air.
The telescope’s supports snapped and the telescope dropped toward the ground, letting out a loud, violent and sudden thunk that was over as quickly as it started. Seemingly it was still quite intact but quite damaged and dented, and this of course created issues that complicated things.
Purvell was not looking forward to the rest of the day.
Posted in Fiction
Tagged data, disappeared, hoped, mercury, moving, path, phenomena, retrograde, space
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Junko Ozawa: The Windmill Song
One listen, and it was somewhere between easy and difficult to write. I think some of this captures the song well and some of it captures the song poorly.
Junko Ozawa’s (小沢 純子) “The Windmill Song” is from Klonoa of the Wind: Door to Phantomile Original Soundtrack (風のクロノア Door to Phantomile オリジナルサウンドトラック). It’s the soundtrack for the game Klonoa: Door to Phantomile.
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Woodwind dances joyfully. It has a hop and a skip in its step, and soon more sound comes in and carries the bliss of the scene forward.
A full, breezy sound, travelling with a great energy. A great curiosity and adventure in it. Wonder, wonderment, wonderful. The sounds move forward, move through their stages. They move and urge, and they express a certain kind of curiosity and excitement. One that comes from a youthful innocence.
The sounds move in and out as needed, and at times they pull back a little, but the energy remains. The energy keeps coming through it all. keeping the flow going. And it all feels like the beginning of an adventure. Of an innocence, and whilst it’s big and maybe bombastic, it’s still small. It has so much joy in it all. These sounds could be the happiest, and they are, and they carry that breeze. They flow with the wind, and they keep on flowing all the way to the song’s end.
Posted in Music
Tagged bliss, bombastic, curiosity, flow, innocence, junko ozawa, klonoa, song, travelling, windmill, youthful
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One Thousand Word Challenge 288: Another Drive into The Blue Mountains
A few days ago I went for a drive into The Blue Mountains for the first time in a good few months. It was an easy drive, as it always is, and it also provided a great deal of relief.
Originally my plan was to go see a friend I haven’t seen in well over a decade now. That didn’t eventuate, unfortunately, but I still made the most of my time there.
So I left early in the morning. Got to the M4 as quickly as I could, as is always the way. Drove out there, drove under the dark, wide sky, around winding road. Saw some other vehicles, but not too many after I got to The Mountains. And the drive… yeah, it was easy. I was running on low sleep, but I handled it mostly fine.
I stopped off in Leura to meet up with Andy. I’d messaged him a few days prior, asking if he was down to catch the sunrise whilst looking out over Mount Solitary. I get to his place, he was already outside. I grabbed my camera out of the car and we walked down to a good lookout, and perhaps my favourite in The Mountains.
We sat down and we talked about life. We talked about what had been happening in our worlds, and we saw some good colour in the sky. Mount Solitary felt as massive and overwhelming as it always has to me, though the more I see it, the less in awe and the more in appreciation I am.
We walked back to Andy’s, had coffee and talked for a while before I headed off to have breakfast, then go further into The Mountains to Mount York. It was as far as I wanted to go, and I had specific reasons in mind, and those should be revealed in a few days if my timing is good. Food was good and the subsequent drive was easy, though not without seeing some people doing some careless stuff in their car, and I was soon at Mount York.
I had seen a lot of people there around Christmas, and there were quite a lot of people there this time, too. It took a lot of the feeling of wonder away, seeing so many cars and tents spread out across the area. There was no quiet to it, no sense of calm, even if it was.
I had to use the bathroom but it was occupied, so I walked around for a bit. I could see into someone’s converted van, and they had a poster with chakras labelled on the body on a wall. I immediately thought derisively of them, and when I saw that the owner of the van was some white guy, I couldn’t help but be unsurprised. This is a bit mean on my part, I’ll admit, but I’ve found that a lot of people I’ve encountered who say they embrace spirituality, or cosmic woo, have shitty or shallow beliefs. Of course, this doesn’t mean one can paint all with the same brush.
I went to the bathroom, then went back to the car, got my camera and walked to a specific spot and looked across the landscape. It was as cleared as it always was, and still massive and somehow beautiful. I took my photos, went back to the car and drove back to Katoomba.
There was a bit of traffic in the opposite direction, and this is in part due to Victoria Pass currently being closed for urgent repairs. If going down the Great Western Highway, traffic has to go along Darling Causeway and continue the drive west via Bells Line of Road, unless they started at Bells, in which case, they wouldn’t be going down Great Western. But anyway…
And so I drove into Katoomba and got sourdough and stretched my legs a little, then drove past Andy’s, dropped a loaf at his, then started making my way back home, but not without another stop for coffee.
Though I didn’t head home. I headed to Killara, and that was a pretty uneventful drive. And this whole bit of writing undersells how much being away from Sydney felt necessary.
I haven’t liked Sydney for a long time. I’ve stayed here for others when I should have left, and every time I’ve stayed for someone, it hasn’t worked out. But beyond that, I feel a need to be journeying. I know I’ve said this kind of recently, but it’s something I feel in my heart. It’s something that is important for my health, and so I yearn to do it. I don’t like being stuck in a room or a house; I like to move. And I love The Blue Mountains. To me, it is a wonderful region. It has its own sets of problems, sure, but it speaks to me in a way other places don’t.
Being out there, feeling the colder air when it was cold, seeing the sun rise gently, being in motion, seeing sights familiar to me… it was wonderful. It was relieving in a way. It was far too short a time to be there, too.
I’ve been fortunate enough to get hold of another car, and this drive was partially a test, and it performed admirably. No complaints at all. This is good. It’ll be doing a longer drive soon. I’ll be back on the road, heading elsewhere for a few days. Once more away from Sydney, and hopefully getting a sense of relief from it.
And so now I’m sitting here, writing in a surface way about how I drove somewhere and drove back. It’s another small moment, but it’s a big moment, too. It’s big to me, but it’s more life. It’s another puzzle piece, helping to better understand things and what’s going on. It fits in snugly, and hopefully the ones around it will, too. And it was an experience I’ve had before, and it was all mine once more.
The time it took to write one thousand words: 19:29:34
Slow, but it was a nice slow.
Written at home.
One Thousand Word Challenge 287: An Evening at UNSW
Last week I saw Biffy Clyro over at The Roundhouse. It’s an awkward space to have a venue, as most people taking public transport will have to dogleg via Central, and it adds a surprising amount of time to the commute. Other, more direct ways that don’t start nearby also can take a while due to a windy route, which is fine as it helps keep areas serviced with convenient commute options, but it’s not so convenient when you need to get home at night. But that’s not what this bit of writing is about, and it’s not even so much about Biffy Clyro either, who were pretty good. Go see them if you can. Solid performance, just tight as, smashing songs out, good live sound. That’s the end of anything review-wise here.
I got to The Roundhouse a fair bit early, so I spent a bit of time editing before deciding to go for a wander. I wandered around the UNSW grounds, just to stretch my legs a bit, try and get some exercise in. I’ve been pretty slack recently, so trying to get back into the swing of things.
So I walked around the grounds of UNSW and it made me think about my time there. I walked past buildings familiar, and some pathways new to me, and I thought about what has changed and what hasn’t, and if that makes me feel like an outsider or not… you know, the fun stuff.
Back in 2014, when I started writing more frequently than the prior years, there was a café partially tucked into a corner of the outside of a building. I’d been recently dumped (which is what motivated me to write more again), and almost every day I was on campus, I’d go there and get a bagel with cream cheese. It was a certain routine I enjoyed, and the small meal was always prepared well. It was consistently good, and that’s something I very much liked. It helped me through a rough time, and I wrote about it in a semi-fictitious way here. That café closed down and disappeared whilst I was still studying, and it sucked. Probably didn’t take long to pack up as it was a small setup. It was a nice thing to have though. Just sort of cosy and pleasant.
Probably goes without saying that that café hasn’t returned, and the space it was in is still empty, and probably will remain empty. The memory lingered, however, and a sense of loss came across.
I walked across a particular area and wondered if I was a ghost of sorts. I wondered if I was actually there or not. It was a strange feeling. It also wasn’t helped by soon coming across another building; a small one (relatively) that used to be a sort of pub / food place. I think they also did coffee, but I can’t remember. But it was closed, the outside space it took up when operating now freed, with just the building itself standing there, lights off, old, and empty of life.
I walked back to the venue to wait in line, and thankfully it was not a long wait.
I think it’s kind of funny in terms of coincidence that I was in the same area I was when my writing frequency increased. I wasn’t thinking about it at the time, but now I am, and I guess it’s because of how close to the end of this blog I am. Nice timing and all that.
Back around 2014, I have some good memories, but now it just makes me hurt in a way, and I think it’s because I wasn’t hurting as much then as I am now. I think I’m much more aware of the time that I have, too, and sometimes I wish I wasn’t. Sometimes I wish I could be a bit more free and uncaring, but I cared then, too. I was worried about things. Now those things are lingering.
Life has changed. I’ve changed. I don’t know if I’ve grown, but I’m more thoughtful, I hope. I’m thinking about things in a different way. I’m less willing to just say whatever, and I think that at least that much is good. It’s an improvement. I’m still here, floating though. Trying to find some stability, some grounding, and get through life without too much hassle, and things have gotten better since last year, but I’m still grieving, and it sucks. It hurts so much sometimes, but I keep going.
I think about what was, and I have to wonder if I’m just unwilling to let go of the past in some ways. I don’t like holding onto the past as it is, but maybe I really do struggle with the idea of letting go, of letting myself be free and moving on. Maybe I am stuck in the past.
I don’t want to return to those years, but I keep carrying the memory of them close. Those years of hurt, of studying, of finding love again and hurting once more. It takes a while, of course. Nothing happens overnight, but some things hurt more than others and you start to wish you’d be free of the hurt.
But then I think about longing for a café that once was, or design and structure and whatever else. Things change. I’m older. Places are bound to disappear, but some of them make a really strong impression. Some are found at the right time, and they stick with you. They stick with you and you yearn for their return, even though you know they won’t.
These are things of a life in the past, and they hang around, and there’s something I can draw from that. I can cherish those times, but I don’t have to let them bind me. There’s nothing wrong with walking forward into a new day, and there’s nothing wrong with moving on and finding other places. It’s better than refusing to move on.
The time it took to write one thousand words: 18:26:62
Much slower than I hoped, but sometimes that’s the way it goes.
I wrote this yesterday and was hoping to get a good few up, but I was so wrecked. Nights of not enough sleep.
Written at work.
One Thousand Word Challenge 286: Hornswaggled
So yesterday failed, but that’s okay. It means splitting the work over two more days, but two more days is two more days. Could probably get it all done today, but I don’t think that’s a good idea. Maybe a bad idea. Don’t know. Will find out.
A few more days and already I’m considering pushing out for a few days more, just to make sure I’ve got everything wrapped up the way I want it to be. However, I also think that’s a bad idea. Need to allow things to come to an end, and respectfully, though this blog is definitely past the point where any soft treatment could be considered respectful. I must hack into what it is and tear it apart, and then go from there. Go from there, go wherever, go anywhere. Find the points of pain, find the pain points, and point at the pain and then laugh a little. Laugh and find my way to wherever is next.
So what does this even mean? I don’t know and I don’t care right now. I just know that I’m trying to churn and burn still, and today is going to allow that, but I’m going to be so wrecked by the end of the day. Yesterday was a busy day, but today is going to be worse as there is a lot of stuff I need to do to be ready for Friday. A lot of stuff.
What have I gotten myself into?
So anyway, soon I must walk. Get my legs working and moving. Get them going to where I need to go in order to show something for nothing and get the nothing something so that it’s something will face the nothingness of everything and look toward the morning and go “I will not be deceived. I will not tolerate this lack of effort”, whilst shaking its little nothing fist at a window. It’s how it goes sometimes, and I will be there, bearing witness to this spectacle. I will be wondering as to how my life got to that point, of course, but I don’t want to spend too much time wondering. I also need to make sure I have a life to get on with. I need to make sure I’ve time to think about the silliness of it all and the absurdity of my finding myself in these situations time and again, and let me tell you, they keep on happening.
One day I’ll be outside and it won’t happen, and I’ll be confused. I’ll be relieved. My life will go back to what it once was, and that will be great. I’ll enjoy that. And then, when I finally least expect it, when I don’t expect it at all, it will happen again an have been hoodwinked. Hornswaggled, perhaps. This kind of boondoggling will be tolerated, unfortunately, as the world is a strange place and I’m just one participant. I am not the whole story. I am not the entirety of the picture.
But I have to go outside soon. It’s going to be a day of being outside and being inside and being everywhere and nowhere in all sorts of forms and shapes, and I will have to deal with all of that as it happens. I’ll have to deal with it and get on with life whilst I am, and I don’t like that. I don’t want to like that. I also don’t want to imply that I will like hat, because… I don’t know.
In truth, it’s just going to be a busy day and it’s something I’m responsible for in this particular instance, and I don’t mind. I don’t mind as I’ve brought it entirely upon myself, but I can persevere. I can get through it all, and I can see the end of the day easily enough. I just need to make sure that I do actually get everything done. I’m good at not and so… yeah.
Alright, what else can I write right now? I can talk about this music that I’m listening to. I can think of other things to write and then announce those and then never follow up on it, and that’s a thing. That’s okay. Or it’s not. I don’t know. But anyway.
Maybe I’ll try and write some fiction after this. Get some stories out there, find where they all lie and sit, and then go on from there. I do have a few that I was hoping to start sooner than this week, but that’s the way it goes. I’ve certainly put in what I feel is a valiant effort this week, so at the very least I can hold my head up on high in some manner. Hold it up and be proud of my effort, despite the quality not matching in the slightest. Might just do that, actually.
Still a few more words to go, however. Thinking about what I’ll do after this is not helpful to the process, and the process isn’t working. It hasn’t been working for a while, but I’ve kept going. I’ve kept pushing against, and that has been fine, I guess. Probably should have rethought things a good while ago. Didn’t and now I’m here, still going, still churning, still acting as though I am at the pinnacle of brilliance, whatever that means. Doesn’t mean anything, really. Or does it?
And so I’m nearly at the end of this writing. Definitely need to stretch my legs a bit, get moving, get grooving, get on with the getting on and find my way through these messes of sentences and wiry spindles of crap writing. So I should stop saying I need to and just get on with it. Go outside, get some light on me, get some food due to my laziness preventing me from making some this morning, go see the outside world, find where the things lie and think a little bit more about where to go from here.
The time it took to write one thousand words: 12:05:83
More serious / silly writing, brought to you by a Monday.
It’s quite obvious where I think my mind lies at this point. Not sure if a good thing or a bad thing.
Written at work.
Posted in Life
Tagged boondoggling, churning, effort, grooving, hoodwinked, hornswaggled, morning, moving, pushing, working
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Cool Geese
A photo of geese… looking cool.
So this group (gaggle?) was walking toward the nearby pond. I decided to try and get a photo of them, which is the below one, and I think it turned out really well.
This is my submission into the three hundred-and-ninety-third Lens-Artists Photo Challenge, and as this blog is ending in a few days, my last submission into the series. The theme for this one is “Lucky Shot“.
The host of the Lens-Artists challenges cycles weekly between the following people:
This one is curated by Sofia. The next one is curated by John.
I recommend joining the community and participating in the challenges. They’re pretty straightforward, allow room for interpretation, and provide a good way to think about photography in general. If not, however, then at the very least you should check out what others submit to the challenges.
I hope you enjoy.
Posted in Photography
Tagged aves, avians, birds, gaggle, geese, goose, lens-artists, monochrome, walking
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Stupidity Hole 