And so once more it begins. It is a morning in which there is fatigue. Who has this fatigue? I cannot say.

It’s me.

Tired and sweaty, and there is little reason to be sweaty. Well, there probably is good reason to be sweaty and that likely has to do with a sleep of the low quality. Fitful and tossing and lost in the dreams, looking for a way out and overheating and soaking the sheets with liquid secreted from some of my cells.

Now I am here and I am wondering if I will make it through the day. Of course, I will. However, I still wonder. I cannot help but wonder. The day always seems long and every second is felt, and yet it compresses into a moment. It shrinks away and it becomes a highlight if it is ever remembered. Such is the way of things.

Why am I talking like this at the moment? It seems like I’m trying to be grand and profound but all I’m doing is being pretentious. There are better things to do with the time that I have, so why am I doing this? For what purpose could this ever serve? I am not here to stoke the fires of my ego, though sharing everything that I do is inherently an egotistical endeavour. However, that is not what I am doing here, or at least that is not what I want to do in this particular moment.

I think there are more important things and that is what I want to embrace. I want to talk in a way that gets across stuff in a way that doesn’t express some sort of supreme arrogance. There are better ways to go about life and I do not have anything that I can make use of that can back up the words that I am currently using, and maybe that is the ultimate shame of it all; that for all of my experience and position in life, I will never attain a point where my speaking in a lofty manner will be warranted or even backed by whatever it is that I go through and learn and discover, and that’s okay. There are far worse things out there that I could be dealing with, so this is fine.

Maybe as we drift through everything there are times where we overreach far more than we’d like, but it won’t seem like an overreach; it’ll just seem like some sort of speaking using too many words. These moments mark points in time where our growth may change direction, and hopefully for the better, but you never know. Maybe they’ll just be a slight bump along the road that we move along and, like most bumps they’ll be forgotten very soon after they disappear from view. I don’t know; I’m just throwing out something I’m thinking of at the moment, and perhaps this too will be forgotten sooner rather than later, and I think that’s fine.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 06:53:06

Speedy and this is mostly okay.
It feels like the most “flowy” one of these I’ve one in a while, and I like that it became more thoughtful over time.

Written at home.