Today is once more a struggle. The sense of balance is slipping away and I’m struggling, and I may be taking legal action against my place of employment, but I won’t get into that for now.

A yawn stretches out as it forces its way out of my mouth and I try to type on the keyboard. I try to get something across, but I desperately need sleep. I desperately need rest, and hopefully that is what comes to me this evening.

The sun is out and it creates a pleasant tone to what I can se outside. The dreariness is slowly drifting away, though it likely will return later. That’s fine though. It’s fine for it to return. The weather cycles, as it should, and slowly my head feels like it is careening off into oblivion.

I can’t stay positive. I am too thrown off right now and it’s all just negative. It’s all a downfall and I’m falling down whilst sitting down. I am not moving and yet, movement keeps making me want to move, or something.

How do I stretch this out when I’m already running on fumes? I’ve got nothing. I’ve nothing to go on. I’m still sick and it has been too long, and I have no idea how this is going to affect me over the coming weeks. I need to get past it somehow but it’s going to take time.

I need to set up a plan. Some might suggest a game plan, but for now I’ll just stick with plan. That’s easier. Simpler. Requires less energy. Requires less thought. Don’t have to go so far. Don’t have to fight against some sort of opposing team, though I guess I am fighting against team illness, or something.

Alright, so I need to fight against this evil team that wants to take me down. I need to find a way to combat it, but I can’t combat it with some sort of advanced, yet primitive weaponry. I cannot do that. What I can do is keep… doing something… that allows me to… succeed.

So I guess my head will keep careening off into oblivion for the time being. Maybe it won’t later, but for now it will, and I guess I have to accept that for what it is more so than what it isn’t.

I’ve no plan and it sucks and all that other stuff, but at least I’m here, and at least that in being here I can still function on some level. It’s a struggle – this disequilibrium might be worse than the last time I had Covid – but I can get through it, I hope. I can try to get through it and I can keep pushing on and trying to get stuff done, but it’s not fun and it’s really digging into my headspace and stressing me out more than I’d like, but that’s life and I just have to deal with it. Don’t have much say in the matter.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 07:04:22

I wanted to write something silly when I wrote this this morning but it didn’t quite work.

Written at home.