So a few days ago I put a knife into one of my fingers and it still hurts and feels weird. That is to be expected so I’m not really complaining, but let me tell you, I got really lucky.

Alright so anyway, more jobs more jobs more jobs, more preparation more preparation more preparation and the dance continues on into some sort of oblivion that I cannot quite fathom, and it keeps on going and going and going, but I’m passed the point of giving up, I think.

To better phrase that, I’m no longer at a point where I care enough to give up, if that makes sense. I don’t give a shit as to how miserable getting job rejections will make me feel at this point; I’m just gonna keep on going. I’m going to be absolutely relentless and I am going to force my way into a better job.

Well, by “force” I mean I’m going to get another job through relentless applications. However, I am only applying for jobs that I want, and there are a few. I’m also being honest about my applying for them. I am not applying for anything that I don’t want to do and I am not applying for anything that’s just an exit. I may have to quite soon – my ability to eat and pay rent is far more important than my want to be doing something I want to do – but until I’m at that juncture I’m going to keep on going to get a job I want.

I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about whether I want to keep doing photography or not. To be honest, I haven’t picked up my camera since late December and I haven’t missed it, and I’ve come pretty close to selling the camera gear a few times now. I’m highly burned out on the industry and the work involved. However, the issue I have is that I keep getting ideas to cover things and so I keep getting pulled back. I’m going to take a few photos this afternoon, maybe. I’m not sure yet, but I know that, at least for now, I am going to continue doing photography. But we’ll see how I feel in a few weeks.

Photography is a wonderful thing, but often local communities need to support each other more than they do. They need to not shoot down competition. Competition is fine in this instance; it helps us improve. However, that competition shouldn’t come alongside undercutting.

There are some absolutely wonderful photographers that I’ve met. I will not deny that. However, I’ve also met quite a few who are anti-competitive, and I have to wonder why. I have to wonder why someone would be willing to work to prevent others from working, then decry people having to undercharge.

So anyway, I’m going to keep on going and keep on working, and I’m going to pull myself out of my worsening situation. Hopefully sooner than later.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 08:10:93

This took longer than I thought it would, and part of that is due to the amount of pain I am still in. Still, that didn’t quite come through and instead something a bit more optimistic than recent stuff was produced. Still realistic in a sense, but more optimistic.

Written at home.