Just doing a quick racing before the everything happens. It’s the morning; it’s a work day. There’s a certain sense of reflection that I’m trying to conjure from the mists of time and all that other fun stuff, and it’s not happening, and that’s the way it should be, really. Not the worst thing in the world.

Really I want to race so I can go and do some other things before work. I want to get a head start on this; I want to get a head start on today; I want to get stuff done and get moving, and then get my work done in a fashion that suggests enjoyment, as I’m still enjoying the work.

Feeling more comfortable, and I feel almost two decades of work I should’ve shaken off a long time ago slip away. It disappears in the distance, and it is almost forgotten. I have more energy to get things done, or I will be as soon as I’m fitter, and I’m getting there, and it’s great. It’s nice to have this changing happen in my life. It’s nice to feel things change, and it’s nice to feel as though I’m getting healthier. I certainly feel happier, at the very least, and I think that that’s a good thing… I think.

Maybe it’s not and maybe I’m just deluding myself,. I don’t know, and this isn’t what I want to be writing about, but it is what is happening and so I’m rolling with the words. I’m rolling with the thoughts, but I want the silliness to come forward. However, today feels like it will just have to be a serious day and I’ll just have to accept that, and that too is okay. It could be worse. I could not feel the desire and inclination to write anymore, and that is something that I would find great despair in. Would rather no, to be honest.

What if I stopped writing now? What if I put it all aside? What would that accomplish? There’s still so much crap to write, and I only have so much time, and so I need to get on with it. I need to write even more crap than I am writing right now. I need to churn it out and spread meaninglessness in a sensible format, and if I can do that, then, well… well, you know.

Perhaps things are good, and they are, or maybe they aren’t and I’m just doing well in this moment. Waves and all that. But maybe things are going to keep on getting better. I don’t know. What I do know is that I need to do a fair bit of preparation and saving so I can get myself into a position more ahead of where I am now, and I need to keep going, and if I do so, then perhaps I’ll be doing okay and I’ll have more stability. This job is the first step. There’s plenty more to do.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 05:56:66

Did alright. Very flat, I think, and perhaps too much meandering, but overall this is okay.

Written at work.