Why do I always do this stuff at some point that could be considered the last minute? I need to start work soon and once more I’ve procrastinated my way into laziness and now rushing to relax in order to relax to rush and get done with the getting done with the writing before I kick off another day of doing the thing and doing it scrumptiously.

I think that, perhaps, I need to work better on my time management, but that won’t happen unless I really apply myself and that is not happening because it’s just not, okay? And that’s fine, and I can deal, but I don’t want to deal. I want to wheel and roll away from it all so as to express some sort of fanciful fancy in a fancy manner.

Well, I think I’ve said all there is to say, really. What else is there? That is succinct in ways that cannot even be perceived unless you’re facing the nth dimension top-wise and conical in relation to the antonym of the synonym that is least synonymous with the position taken.

Perhaps what I’m really doing is buying the time that I have and trying to drag it out, and all those things, but I don’t know. Sometimes I really don’t know, but today I just don’t know. That’s not great, but what can I do? I’ve a whole day ahead of me and a whole nothingness to dig through, and when I dig I’ll fill it with the stuff that I need to do and get on with, and I’ll get there and get on with it and I’ll find a way to make sure that the day isn’t just a nothing day. It won’t be empty; it start empty.

I’m not going to read over that paragraph. I know it is a bit of a nonsense one.

So I sit here and I wait, and I wait some more, and I bide my time. I wait for work to start, and I wait for an outcome, and I don’t know where that outcome will go, but I do wait for it. I spend my time waiting, but I don’t just wait. I do other things and try to get to the end of it all in one piece. Maybe it will be two pieces, but I know that the conclusion of that waiting will be a lifting of a heavy weight I’ve chosen to carry for far too long, and that will lead to positive change, I hope.

Might not, but it might, and that’s the best I can hope for, but I need to wait, and I need to not procrastinate, and I need to stop doing these bits of rambling at the last minute. Need to give myself a bit more breathing time and space, and I need to jump into action shortly. It’s not the best way to operate, and so I need to turn that around. I’ll do that eventually.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 06:09:12

Some of this I like and some of this I don’t. I do think it flows quite well overall, but… yeah. I hit a bit of a bump early on. Not sure if I recovered.

Written at work.