Lunch: the greatest of fortitude. Or something that sounds vaguely interesting, yet offers nothing when you think about it enough.

Well, nothing new, that is.

Anyway, plants are planting, the day is buzzing and the sounds are cutting through whatever it is that I wish would prevent me from hearing them, and life goes on and rolls forward, and then you see how everything unfolds.

Behold! It’s too late. You’re a skeleton now.

So anyway, perhaps the small things are the most meaningful, and these things that are insignificant help to alleviate mood and lift us all into a better space. WE never seem to remember those things, but they often fill parts of days and travel with us through time. They chip away at bitterness and anger, and sadness, destitution, hopelessness, but we don’t remember them. Their effects linger, but the big things we carry forward, and we continue through time and witness what we witness, and hopefully we reach the end a little better than how we were at the beginning.

Things travel and change, and we see ourselves get older. We grow and wither, and we become part of the planet in some way, carried through things that don’t have the same cares as we do… unless other arrangements are made, of course. But it’s interesting how much things change and remain unchanging. It’s interesting how we just travel through things, and we get there, and we wonder what was worth it, or if it was all worth it, and then nothing.

What lies beyond? We don’t know, and is it really important to know anyway? Sometimes I wonder. Sometimes I hope that there’s something else beyond this existence, because the cessation of thought and consciousness scares me, if I am to be honest. But rather than that fear being a motivator to do something great, or strive for greatness, it just pushes me often into some sort of paralysis of indecision. What does it all matter if nothing matters?

But it does matter, and life goes on. It might not matter once I pass from memory, but for a short while in the grand scheme it all matters a lot. Everything matters, and it hurts because there’s little that can be done at the best of times. We try to do things and often find ourselves stopped by circumstance, and that’s a real downer.

But you still try, because even if you can’t do something, you keep on trying to put a little bit of good in the world, and you try to lighten things, and you look to see those you care about, who will be at the same table as yours at the end of it all, and if it wasn’t all worth it, it was all life lived, and you all tried, and maybe, just maybe those small things will have touched people enough so you know that you really did put in a bit more good, and it was all worth it.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 07:57:00

Stuff that was on my mind and needed to come out, I guess.
Probably could’ve been much more succinct.

Written at work.