Doing another racing and doing it standing up. Want to see how I’m affected by the act of being more upright than usual. I don’t know if this will have an impact, but I guess we’ll find out.

Realising why I don’t do these too often, and it’s less to do with injuries and more to do with it not being very enjoyable. Not satisfactory. There’s only so many times one can do these before they go “Well, that was fun and now it’s time for something else”. But that’s the way it is sometimes, and all that other stuff that makes me sound smart.

Well, with that all said, tit’s time tow rap all of this up, but I don’t know as to how I can. I don’t know if I can really get this in under four minutes, which is what I’m aiming for, and I feel myself slipping, and it makes me wonder if my brain is okay, for I’ve felt it for a while and it has not been fun, but I keep on going. I persist with the stubbornness and I keep on going and pummeling the keyboard, and it’s not a great thing, but it is what I do and I keep on doing it, and I keep on going and hope for the best whilst expecting the least, and the words come forward and I use commas far too much, though sometimes not enough at all.

I wonder if this really is all there is, and perhaps I’ve passed the curve and now all I’m doing is dragging out an end that should’ve come years ago. I don’t know; I just want to keep crapping on at the moment.

I’m also just trying to fill the time and hope for the best, but I don’t think I’m there, but we’ll see. Maybe I will get there.

So anyway, I keep going and trying and I keep racing toward an unknown future and all those things that sound dramatic, but all I am and all I’ll ever be is little else other than what I am now, but perhaps a bit older and more injured, but I’ll keep on going. I’ll keep on striving for tomorrow, for that’s all I can do. There’s little else out there to do and there’s little else out there that I can be, so I just try to be me, but I try to be a better me every year.

Sometimes that isn’t enough, but I can’t do much about that. Sometimes you can but sometimes you can’t; you know how it is. I don’t know what I’m saying now.

So I think I’ll just think about things and prepare for the work day ahead, and I’ll get to the end of it and turn around and wonder how I did what I did, and that’s the end of it and… yeah. Or no. I don’t know yet. The certainty is yet to be determined, or it has.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 05:02:44

Bit of a mess, which is to be expected.
Wrote yesterday, uploaded today. Why? Don’t know.

Written at work.