Last day of being on break. Am struggling, but mostly due to lack of sleep than anything else. Such is life, I suppose, or something, or so they say.

Sitting here, drinking my TEA. Trying to get words down but I need to sweep and clean. This week and next are very large ones. Going to be getting a lot done, whether I want to or not. But they’ll be good weeks. I hope they’ll be good weeks, at least.

So I sit here and I sweat. There’s a storm coming, and I am really looking forward to it. Looking forward to the relief it’ll provide, but I need it here now and not later. Later still is useful, but it’d be more useful here now.

I haven’t done as much as I’d have liked during this break. That’s the way things go. It could be far worse. I could’ve done much less. I did relax, and that was important. Relaxation was desperately needed, and so is a lot more. To be honest, I don’t know how much longer I can keep on working. Too much of my life already spent doing it, and I’m in a good environment, but those prior years might be catching up so I’ve just got to keep on pushing on. But I don’t know how much longer I can.

So today is the last day of being on break and I need more rest, and nothing changes whilst everything changes. I’m sitting here, sweating and I’ll be doing some housework shortly. Right now I’m not but I’m also trying to make sure I won’t be doing stuff until late in the evening, because I can’t be doing that anymore. I can’t be sitting here with my thoughts failing due to heavy fatigue until the last minute. This year is going to be a big year, but it only will be if I get moving on things. If I don’t do anything, then nothing will happen. Nothing will change.

Essentially I’m gonna have to push through all the fatigue. I’m going to have to keep going through the exhaustion, but it’s years of buildup. I was somewhat non-functional at the start of this break, and I’m slightly less so now.

So really the first thing I need to do is start taking better care of myself, and then start saving, and then win the lottery so I can really rest and take it easy for a good long while. Just a lengthy, massive break from everything, be more nomadic because part of the reason why I’m so tired and drained is that I do better when I’ve more room to move, and that is something I’m highly lacking at the moment, and it’s not great. But looking after myself and getting healthy will, naturally, have to come first.

The days trickle away and I need more rest. Don’t know how much longer I can keep working, but I have to keep going, until I can’t.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 07:15:22

This was more dour than I was hoping what I wrote would be. Way it goes and all that.

Written at home.