Here are two bits of writing; one from 2016 and the other from 2018. They’re not good and I have a fairly good idea as to why I didn’t share them (work starting or something along those lines), and I should probably trash them, but I’m not. Sharing them instead due to some sort of archival relevance or something. I don’t know.

The first one was shortly after my return to call centre work. I’d felt I’d escaped at the end of 2015 and had to return to it in late 2016, and that sucked but you pick up work where you can. I feel that, when it came to the writing course bit, I was probably far too critical and it’s just a mean thing to say.

The second one was early in 2018 and is more transitional. It was written not long before I was crashing in an attic for a few weeks before crashing at another place due to tension developing over years finally becoming too much. It was also not long after spraining my wrist on a field trip with UNSW and their complete lack of logging it anywhere. There was some good at the time, but it was an angry and introspective period. Both bits of writing share that background, now that I think about it.

I hope you enjoy.

—

2016:

And to those who want to see something amazing: Go outside of the city one night and check out the sky.

Sure, it might not look like the cover of a sci-fi book, but it truly gives you a sense of how small and insignificant you are whilst instilling a strong sense of awe and beauty as your mind tries to find a way to truly comprehend the vastness of it all instead of making a few slight variations with a different paint job.

I could probably say anything about Meshuggah and their new album that would be blowing smoke up their ass, using phrases that make little sense (“It sounds like Refused playing Tool covers using meat grinders in a sterile lab in the fjords”) unless viewed in some obtuse, oblique manner strictly for the purpose of fueling my pretentious leanings because I took a writing course and need to try and strangle it for all I can before people realise that I’m a two-bit hack.

So here I am, sitting at my desk at work, waiting for a call to come in and hoping that I can get this finished before I head home tonight, because I’ve missed writing and haven’t wanted to put it off for as long as I have, although I do have to admit that it has not been that long, but quite frankly that’s beside the point as I have missed writing my pointless drivel for the few days that I have not written anything. Therefore, I am writing now simply because I want to write and I am hoping that I come up with something that is worth reading. If I don’t, then it is business as usual and nothing really changes. If I do, then, well, everything changes and this will never be the same again.

That would really cause some differences to become apparent and I have no idea as to how I would cope with such a shake up that would occur. It would really be some sort of new and unexplored world that I would be opening the doors.

2018:

The hands are darting once more across the keyboard of infinity to try and find some sense of reason and accountability within all the things that I strive to look for in a piece of text that contains some sort of quality meaning that you will be able to drag out of this if you, the reader and my very exalted audience are able to do such a thing.

Of course, there is a grand canyon of depth and brevity to cross, but that is the way of things when you are trying to get something out that is good.

I think I’ve worked it out and the ratio works out to be about four sentences of quality writing for every three-hundred bits of writing that I write.

Perhaps that is not exactly the case, but that is the ratio that I have worked out and consarnit, that is the ratio to which I shall stick.

My wrist is still feeling the effects of the spraining event, but it is getting better… I think.

I could be wrong there, but it does feel as though it is slowly recovering. Writing this quickly probably does not help its recovery, but right now I do not care, for I desire to look for what it is that I am looking for and that does mean that there will be a lot of writing to get through. Besides which, my wrist is handling it much better at the moment.

Yesterday I went bushwalking into the Kuring-gai chase national park and it may have been a little too hot to do so. I came out sweaty, exhausted, feeling as though I was going to throw up and feeling like I should have given up. However, I survived and I bounced back pretty quickly. I have nothing to complain about as I brought it upon myself.

Besides which, I saw two goannas and that was pretty awesome. Got a few photos of them as well (here’s one of them).

When I got home, a new lens had arrived and now it is sitting on my camera. My camera is a Canon 60D. The new lens is for a full frame camera.

Oh well.

So I’m sitting here, warming up for the beginning of my shift today. I need to get a bit of work done.