Alright so now that I’ve done some more stuff I’m going to race to the bottom and then hit the ground stunning. I’m gonna get all those funky fresh things going on and sorted and I’m going to get toward wherever and whenever, and maybe I’ll get to where I don’t need to be, but it’ll need to either be looking stylish and fresh, or paralytic. There are no two other options, and that do be the way it do be, and you get the ideas. Or the idea. There can only be some.

So I sit here and I wonder, and I wonder as to where I go from here. No, I don’t. I wonder as to what I shall do when I get home. More research. More preparation. More refinement. Can’t be too rehearsed. But need to make sure I’m rehearsed enough.

I’m trying to scramble out words and my hands cannot keep up, and I’m slowing down. I’m just rewarding myself for getting something done. Things are getting easier, but I’m still struggling, and struggling is not what I want to be doing. What I want to be doing is getting on with life, living it. I want to not have to worry about unemployment. I want to be getting things sorted and organised, and I want to be able to make sure that I can get to the end of the day in one piece. I just want some stability, and I don’t think that that’s too much to ask.

Still, I persist. I keep on trying and I keep putting myself out there, and maybe, just maybe I’ll get there in the end. I might just find my way and I might just be able to succeed at the end of it all. We’ll just have to see how it all goes from here.

It has been a long year, and I am tired. I am really tired, but I have to keep going. I am doing myself a great disservice if I don’t. But I also am not doing this alone. It takes a team and I’m so lucky in that regard. One interview out of many applications, but I can do it. I can succeed. I just need to make sure I do actually succeed… or rather, I need to make sure I do the best I can. And I can do it. I can get there. I can find a way and I can organise everything as I need to in whichever order is required. But it won’t happen if I don’t prepare, and it won’t happen if I let down the people supporting me.

If I fail the interview, that’s going to suck hard, but so long as I try. So long as I do my best and go in with honesty, and explain how I’m a good fit, if I fail, so long as I gave it my best. That’s the least I can do.

We’ll see how it goes.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 05:17:64

Thought this was gonna be a silly one. Could be better, but the speed is quite fast, so… yeah.

Written at work.