Only a few minutes until six in the morning and it’s still dark outside. My window faces the west, however,  so it is to be expected that it’d still be dark from here. But there is a hint of light coming through. There’s something cutting into the dark and the world is waking up, and all of those other things.

This is the kind of time that’s good to go for a walk. Go explore the area whilst few others are awake and walking around. See what everything looks like under these particular conditions. That sort of thing. It’s nice as it’s usually quieter, and I’ve spent a lot of time dealing with noise.

I doubt it’s much more than anyone else, but I’ve spent so much time in my life not getting quiet, and I’m over it. I’m over the kind of disrespect people have for others. It’s pretty upsetting, and I just want to get away from so much of it because it doesn’t stop. I get some gaps. I get some brief rests, but then it’s back to noise and I just want silence.

It’s getting lighter outside, and it seems to happen so gradually that it’s instant. I don’t know if that is something worth considering. You know, perception of time and all that. Or rather, perception of change. We notice the change but we don’t notice it changing. It’s some for for thought, at the very least.

I’m sitting here, writing and wondering about whether I should open my windows. Let some cold air in whilst it still is a little cold outside. It’s going to be a warm day today, but right now it isn’t. Perhaps I should embrace that.

So it still is quiet outside and that’s nice, but the birds are waking up. Still, you get birdsong in many places and that’s something I know I can keep in my life. It’s always a pleasant thing to have.

More and more of the space outside seems to be waking up, and I feel fortunate to be able to witness it. I feel fortunate in being able to hear some of these sounds, but right now it’s before people start blasting music. It’s a pleasing calm that I get to bear witness to, and I’m thankful for that, because there aren’t enough moments like this that I do. Usually at this hour I’m getting ready to head off to work. Right now I’m tired and a little grouchy, but being able to have this outside my window is nice. I’m enjoying my coffee; I’m sitting here and getting a start on things, and I’m seeing a world outside that is still and waking up.

But I do like the quiet, and I wish I could have more of it. I can’t – at least, not right now – and one day I’ll find a space where I can. Where the sound of roads doesn’t lurk at the edges, and where I can hear more birdsong.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 07:33:87

So I just got up to switch off my light, thinking there’d be enough light outside to filter into here and I was wrong. Feels like this space matches what I wrote more now, however.

I wrote this without music playing. Not the first time I’ve done so and probably won’t be the last. It was a struggle. I stuck to it as it’s good practise and, as much as I love music, I should probably get to a point where my ability to do some things is decoupled from a reliance on it playing.

Written at home.