It has been a few days, and it certainly has, but I’m going to try and focus on today.

I’ve been basking a little in the news that I have a job locked in, as well as a room. The job is for six months, and that’s good for me. It’s time and it could be extended. Likely won’t, but could be. So… happy days, but also tentative happy days.

It will be a period of scrounging hard. I’m aiming to keep expenditure to an absolute minimum. Just survive, live low, get myself into a position of safety. Make it easier for me to weather another period of potential unemployment.

So anyway, got the news of everything being locked in yesterday. Was good timing. Spent a lot of yesterday being tired, used it as an excuse to relax. The car was full of stuff that needed to go to storage, but it wasn’t happening yesterday. Took care of other things instead. Today comes around, laze about a bit, then got to it.

It took longer than I expected, and it was tough as I’m watching my life go into storage once more. The plus side is I’m not losing my history this time. I get to continue on with my stuff, though I do need to get rid of a bit, and that’s a relief. It’s all too close to the edge and this is definitely a position I don’t want to be in again.

But after I put the last of the load into the storage unit, I sat on the trolley I’d used and zoned out a bit. I want to cry. I want to cry badly, and let loose, but I don’t feel the need to do so, and I’m tired. I was sitting there, being tired, thinking about nothing, zoning out. Staring off into my phone and looking at nothing, and I rested for a number of minutes before I went back to the car to go somewhere for breakfast.

I went to the Bakehouse Quarter as it was close to where I was. As I was driving over I remembered Ewe’s ‘Holy Smokes’ shirt. Messaged him about it after I parked. Not sure why I remembered.

When I was a teenager there were a few times I cycled through the Bakehouse Quarter. I wouldn’t be able to say why beyond it being where I ended up on those particular cycles, when I’d go explore places that were near home. It was a quiet place back then, or at least it seemed to be. It probably wasn’t. These days it’s a different thing. It has been gentrified and filled with eateries and grocery shops, among other things. It’s fine and it’s good to have something so centralised, I think, but I feel much like an outsider, thinking about it. But so is most everyone visiting an area that’s changed from their history.

But it was nice to sit at a café and read. It was nice to just sit there and eat and enjoy a coffee, and then get on with it.

I went home, and it had been about three hours since I left. I didn’t take much to storage, and I was a bit surprised it took as long as it did, but that’s the way it goes sometimes. It was time that was needed, and it was probably less than what most people take.

I got back to packing things and doing washing and trying to get as much out of the house as possible, because there still is a fair bit to go. This isn’t over and it’s going to take a lot of time, but it’s happening.

When I started this, I thought something more deep would come forward. Apparently that’s not so much the case, but sometimes the dullness is fine anyway.