Alright, it’s time to start on a new day. Linkin Park is playing on the radio and things feel old and new at the same time. Misery waves wash on over but I’m alive. I’m kicking. I’ve things to do and I feel important. Well, maybe not exactly important, but I feel alright. Miserable and alright. What a mix. What a concoction.

Cars go on by outside of this interior, and the sun is out. It is cold but it will warm up, and I am here to experience it. Might not be later; might be at work, but right now I am here, and here is fine enough. Here is a good way to start. It’s better than not being here. So long as the atmosphere remains good. So long as it remains nice.

Time passes and things change, and we float on through it all, hoping to carve out our own little space. We hope to just live and stay comfortable, and we hope to get to the end in one piece. There is so much to be worried about right now and it’s all going to come visit us. Everything is going to come, and not at once and new worries will be added, but right now, in this moment of time, I feel alright. I feel okay. I feel like shit, but I feel alright.

It’s a bit of a strange space to be in, I think, but this could be worse. This could be so much worse right now. Of course I mean on a personal level because there’s plenty of great things out there, but many things are fucking awful right now and it’s not good. But today feels fine. Today feels like a small island and I am taking it easy before I need to go to wherever I go next. I can do this. I can get through it all. I can keep on going, and I’ll keep on going.

Even if I couldn’t, I still would. There’s constantly so much to still see and do, and that drives me. The eternal bucket list I’ll never complete because it keeps on growing. It’s great. But more importantly, what drives me is the fact that I’m alive, and I’m fortunate.

I’m fortunate for having people in my life who care about me, and I’m fortunate enough to be liked and respected by my work colleagues. It’s a good thing, I think. Well, it’s a good thing because I’m doing something I feel is worthwhile. If I was respected for being an asshole, I’d feel miserable. If I had ethical and moral concerns about my work, I would not find myself fortunate to be liked and respected by my colleagues.

So things are shit, but they’re also good and I’m chugging along. I’m doing okay. And today feels like it’ll be a good day. Today feels like I’ll get through it and wake up tomorrow morning, and maybe with a little more sleep too.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 06:53:88

Decent speed, ultimately positive writing. Not bad.

Written at Dirty Red.