Nearly done for the day, and I’ve done an absolutely terrible job of killing time, but that’s how it goes sometimes. Just gonna try and write whatever now. I can’t do that as well as perhaps I could on another day, but gonna try anyway. It’s always worth trying. You should always try where you can, unless there’s a good reason for you to not try. But that’s not something for me to discern. I’ve other things to think about, anyway, so I’m not gonna try to work that one out. Maybe later, however.

I think I’m a bit fried from today. Had very little work to do today, so you think I’d do more writing. That, however, did not happen. Instead of that I’ve just sat here and killed time to the best of my ability. And it was terrible today. I could’ve killed time better by being productive in ways that are not related to work. I had the time and I had little of my job to do, which, don’t get me wrong, is great. However, it’s not what I wanted. Therefore, tomorrow I’ll have to do a better job of doing more with the time that I have.

I know that my boss would be fine with it, so long as I look like I’m working. Today I did not. Today I twiddled my thumbs and stared at a screen and told myself that I’d do more writing than I did. And I didn’t.

So… what do I do now? There are so many other things that I could be saying in this moment and I’m not saying them, and I don’t know where to go from here. I want the day to be over so I can go home and finish the day off, but that’s not happening for another few minutes, which is why I’m writing so why am I even saying this?

Sometimes there really are just days that go on forever, though they also don’t. They are as compressed as they are stretched, and everything happens and nothing happens and I’m left here wondering what is going on and when I’ll get more sleep, if I do indeed get any sleep at all. I’m sitting here, waiting for the day to come to its conclusion and it is taking time still to get there. I’m trying to get to those last few minutes that really are the last few minutes. I’m trying to get there and they seem to elude me, and I don’t know what to do about it. I can’t speed the time up and it just wants to stretch more and more, and every second is pushing against me, holding me back, rushing and covering my vision and I’m swarmed by the seconds as they fight to keep my day from ending, but there’s nothing left for me to do.

I can’t be bothered fighting against this. It’s too much energy and too much effort, so I’m gonna wait.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 05:43:35

Fun bit of silliness to end the day on before more writing comes through.

Written at work.