I’m still hunting for a car. I’m doing it slowly as I don’t need one, and I especially don’t need one right now, but I am still hunting. Still trying to find one that I can be happy with and all that stuff. But it’s taking time, and I want something more modern with fewer bells and whistles.

An older car, it gets damaged, you take it to the mechanics and they fix it. They get the parts you need, whack the car a few times and suddenly it works again. It’s almost as though it was never damaged. Amazing stuff. Powerful. It’s great. You see a car as a pile of debris go in and then it comes out as though it was never damaged. Blows my mind.

You get a new car and they have a bunch of stuff I don’t want. I want a small screen at most, and I want as basic a display as possible. You can’t get that. You can’t get a car without adaptive butt warming and automatic crumple horns. I just want to press the go pedal and have my car go. I don’t want to press the go pedal and have my car ask if I am sure I want to go every single time, thus forcing me to take my eyes off the road and provide a DNA sample to confirm my decision to go. I’m rolling downhill and I need to start accelerating soon to maintain speed, I don’t feel the need to get me to fart into an oscillating sanctimony purifier is conducive to going much of anywhere these days.

You put a new car in for repairs and the parts they have means it needs to go to a black market and you get a horse and cart back, and the horse is mostly dead. And it’s like, cool, well at least I have this wheel, and then they’re like nah, you’re gonna have to pay for the wheel. And you’re just screwed, and now you have to nurse this horse back to health and once you do it just fucks off because it doesn’t know you and cannot discern your motives, therefore leading to it making the decision it feels is best in the situation, given the information it has at hoof, which is very little because all it has seen is you being resentful about the fact that you’re sleeping on the floor because the horse needs the bed to get to better health.

So now you’re stuck with this horseless and wheelless cart and you can’t do a damn thing about it. You’d go buy wood to make new wheels but you’ve nothing to bring the wood back with and you don’t want to go chopping down any trees.

But then the kicker? The part that was needed for the car, the one part that should’ve been easy, finally arrives but until you get the horse and cart back to whomever has your car at this point, you’re not getting the car fixed, so now you have to go on this journey just to find a horse that did the sensible thing so you’ve got to learn about tracking a horse and all that, only to find out later it’s had a family and is doing well and the whole thing is ridiculous.

I miss my car.