Stupidity Hole

Or is it Stupidityhole? I can’t remember at this point.

Okay. It’s definitely Stupidity Hole. I checked.

At this point I don’t have much to say. Fourteen years is a long time to be doing anything, but I’ve had a presence on The Internet (writing-wise) for a good twenty now. This is just the longest continuous thing I’ve done. Kind of scary.

A lot of crap written. I mean a lot. Some good. It’s probably unlikely that a lot of people out there write only good; we only see the result of refinement and rewriting, and chipping away until the ideas make sense and are concise. But I’ve certainly put out a lot of crap, and perhaps without enough care, and I can’t say for sure that that’s a good thing.

The next period of time leading up to the fifteen year anniversary is the last year of Stupidity Hole. The end has been coming for a long time, mainly due to my spending a lot of that time trying to work out how I wanted to wrap things up. I thought a sudden thing might be fine, but that wouldn’t work. I’ll get into that in a sec.

There’s a lot of pain tied into this space, and doing anything here has taken more and more time. It’s consumed a lot of my life, and I’ve lost a lot of it to here. I don’t regret doing so, but I also wouldn’t repeat a lot of the time spent were I given the chance. It came at a cost and it contributed to a lot of issues that are impacting me at the moment.

There’s also a lot of joy and silliness spread throughout too, and some really good writing here and there. Running this space might have come at a cost, but I’ve learned a lot from all the writing and editing. I’ve learned a lot about discipline and phrasing, and also being a better person. I’ve also had a fair bit of fun throughout.

At the end of the day, however, it’s time to call last drinks.

I’m tired of running Stupidity Hole, and I’m tired of trying. I’ve a lot of life to live and I need to get back to trying to live it. If I were generating an income from my writing and photography, things might be different, but I’m not and so I need to start changing how I’m using my time. This space was never started with neither the intent nor the desire to earn an income from it, but the need has been a factor for a while.

There’s a lot of crap and some good here, and even though there’s plenty of room for improvement, right now I’m proud of the work I put in. As said, I don’t regret the time I’ve lost to here. I don’t regret what I’ve wrote, even if I’d go back and change a good chunk of it.

Around starting the job that’s about to end, there were a few days where I stopped writing, and I realised I didn’t miss writing here and would’ve been fine to drop it. I came back in part due to feeling obligated to, and figured I could keep going, at least in the short-term and still enjoy rambling as much as I do. Eventually I realised that I’d need to give myself time to end this place though; to wrap things up, because I need time to properly let go. It’s scary in a way because it has been so big a part of my life for so long, but, as said before, it’s time to call last drinks.

It’ll be a long last drinks. There’s a chance that, as I might be homeless soon it’ll end sooner than planned, but I’m going to do what I can to reach my goal. I’m aiming for something pretty massive over the period too. Perhaps too ambitious, but we’ll see.

When I started Stupidity Hole I just wanted to continue my silly writing, though there were serious ideas and some of those came through. WordPress seemed like the right place to go to, and there were no ambitions; just a desire to get back to regular writing. This space has become so much bigger than I thought it would, and it has remained small. It’s going to be a sad time, but it’ll be a joyful time also.

Fourteen years. That’s a good run. I’m looking forward to getting to that last post, and I’m looking forward to what comes from here to then. I hope to see you all there.