Here’s a photo that didn’t make the cut yesterday, but I still wanted to share it. There are a few others, but for now here’s just this one. I do like how it turned out; I think the contrast created by the light creates a certain kind of mood that I don’t see in many of my photos. A certain drama of the form.
I hope you enjoy.
Whilst this continues on from the last bit of writing, I’m pretty sure this happened in 2016 due to one of the things said, and it all happened soon after we’d gone up to Katoomba one afternoon. Again, minimal editing, preserved as was.
Something to note is that there was a tea cup tree (as in a tree with tea cups hanging on its branches) where the person working in the garden was, and they took it down. It didn’t happen whilst Ewe and I were around, and at least for Ewe it was a suburban icon of sorts. I imagine to plenty of others they felt the same. Ewe hadn’t seen that person before and hasn’t seen them since, but the tree was gone when he last walked past it, and its loss was also a loss for some of the area’s identity.
Anyway, I hope you enjoy.
—
Before sunset Ewe and I decided to head out to find a spot that would be good for watching the sunset over Mount Solitary. Luckily there was something that was pretty close to where we were and after a good fifteen minute walk we found ourselves in the bush once more.
Having grown up in the Blue Mountains, Ewe knew of all these semi-secret places that allowed for some really amazing views. I would have never found them on my own as they were really easy to walk past without realising you had passed them, leaving many of the great areas to see valleys, mountains and huge swathes of bushland seldom visited and much easier to access.
Our view was framed by the trees near us, but that was okay as we could still see the sky and part of Mount Solitary quite well. There was a house nearby but otherwise the area was fairly untouched.
Without saying a word and acting as though it was the most natural thing in the world, Ewe pulled out a joint, lit it, took a puff and then silently offered me an opportunity to partake. Trying not to show my surprise, I took the joint from his hand and took a long drag.
We passed it back and forth until it was done, commented on the strength and smoothness and laughed a little before all fell silent as the sun set somewhere off in the distance, casting strong red, orange and yellow tones across the sky with the aid of the clouds scattered throughout and leaving us to be in awe of what we were experiencing.
“That’s amazing.”
“Wow.”
“Yeah.”
“Looks good.”
“Yeah.”
“Yeah.”
There was a slight amount of laughter.
I started getting worried about how close we were standing to the edge, but I made sure to keep a check on my balance so as to not fall off.
Somewhere behind us I could hear something approaching. It started as a low, inorganic hum but as it grew closer and louder it began to reveal itself as something beyond this world and understanding. I knew that it was close and that in that moment everything could have gone to hell, so I turned around as quickly as I could to see what it was before it was with Ewe and I.
There was nothing there.
“Oh fuck, it’s just a coal train.”
My mind snapped back to reality when I realised that whilst we were a bit of a distance away, we could still hear the coal trains along the tracks.
“What was?”
“I thought that there was something approaching. It was this really weird sound. It was a coal train.”
My sense of relief was almost overwhelming.
“Oh yeah, I heard that too. Really weird.”
“Yeah. Glad it was nothing.”
“Yeah.”
We stood there laughing for a few minutes before the sense of calm came over us once more.
“Hey Ewe, did you hear what happened to the guy who lost all of his left limbs?”
“No. What happened?”
“Well, I hear he, uh… is having a difficult time… and is depressed due to the loss of his, uh, limbs.”
Ewe’s silent disgust at my terrible delivery and punchline was louder than everything else in the area.
“Oh come on man, that’s funny.”
“It wasn’t. That was terrible.”
“Should we get going soon?”
“We can if you want. We can stay.”
“We probably should go before it gets too dark. The edge is freaking me out a bit.”
“Do you really want to go?”
“I want to go.”
“Let’s go.”
And with that we were off, trying to walk back the way we had come and almost tripping over a number of times.
The walk back to Ewe’s mum’s place was one of the longest walks that I had ever endured in my life.
“Hey Ewe, did you hear about the guy who lost all of his left limbs?”
“No, I don’t want to hear this.”
“Nah man, it’s a serious question.”
“I don’t want to know. No. Please don’t.”
“No, it’s serious this time.”
“Fine, what? What happened?”
“I’m asking you. Did you hear about the guy?”
“No, I don’t want to do this.”
“No man, I’m asking you. It’s a serious question. Did you hear about him?”
“He lost his limbs.”
“Yeah, then what next?”
“I am not playing along.”
“I’m asking you. There’s no joke here.”
“He… I don’t know! He lost his limbs and then he had them reattached.”
“Reattached? But he lost them.”
“Well he found them.”
“But how did he find them if they were lost?”
“He got someone else’s limbs. He ended up with a right foot on his shoulder.”
“He ended up with a right foot on his shoulder?”
“Yes.”
“That doesn’t make sense. How did that happen?”
“He had a bad doctor. He ended up with an arm coming out of his torso.”
“No way. That didn’t happen.”
“I… don’t know what you’re doing!”
“I’m not doing anything. I’m trying to find out what happened to this guy, you’re saying he’s got a foot on his shoulder and an arm coming out of his torso.”
“Yep. That’s what happened.”
“So has he gotten it fixed?”
“Well he can’t. It can’t be reversed. He’s now stuck like that. End of story.”
“No, that can’t be the case. There has to be more.”
“I don’t know. I don’t know if there’s more. He’s stuffed. He has to deal with this now and there’s nothing he can do. He has to live the rest of his life like that. Done. Finished.”
At the start I was trying to screw with Ewe, but then I thought he was doing a bit and was getting really invested in what he was saying about this guy who lost limbs.
Whilst this was wrapping up, Ewe decided to take us up a short, steep hill. I was sweating heavily and found it to be one of the most difficult climbs that I had ever mad in my life, but on the plus side it meant that we didn’t have to walk our way around a longer route.
The sun had well and truly set at this point. Whilst there were some street lights, most of the area was very dark. This had the benefit of allowing us to see some of the stars in the sky much more clearly than in the city. It was rather magnificent in that moment, walking along after a hill climb, marveling at the massiveness of it all whilst still looking like tiny flecks of light.
As Ewe and I neared the last corner we needed to go around before we would be back at his mum’s place, we could see someone gardening in the dark.
They saw us and asked “Going for a walk in the dark?”
As we stopped, Ewe responded with “Coming back. Been doing a bit of work on the garden?”
“Yeah, just replanting and putting in some new plants. It needed a bit of work so I thought that whilst I was up here I’d get it all sorted.”
“It’s looking good.”
“Aw thanks. I’ve been working at it all this afternoon. There’s still a fair bit to go further back but it’s a start.”
“Yeah, well you’ve got a good start there. It’s looking a fair bit better. Bit different, but better.”
“It was mostly rearrangement work. I’ve been digging up the plants for most of the afternoon and then once that was done I cleared a bit of the grass so I could dig into here and then replant them. Still got a bit of work to do before I stop though.”
“You’re still going in the dark?”
“Yeah, that is a bit weird.”
I was standing there doing my best to hide the fact that I was stoned. I really wanted to go but I knew that the gig would be up so I did my best to look as calm and collected as possible by looking back and forth along the new row of plants.
“So you from around here?”
“Yeah. Well, yes and no. I grew up here and my mum still lives here, but I’ve moved down to Sydney. Just up visiting.”
“That’s nice. I work further down the mountain for Woolies. Just up to visit some friends, working on the garden whilst I’m here.”
“Oh, you work for Woolies do you?”
“Yeah. Nothing major. Hard work, keeps me busy. I used to live up here myself but I had to leave. Vicious. Still come up on occasion though. It’s good to come and visit people you know. Also allows me time to work on the garden.”
“Yeah, well it’s looking good.”
“Cheers. Anyway, I think I’m going to stop and rest for now. Been going for a while. You boys have a good night, alright?”
“Alright, see you. Have a good one mate.”
Once Ewe was done we walked as quickly as we could. I told him that I could barely handle the conversation once we were past what I thought was hearing range. Ewe told me that it was a bit much. We both agreed that the gardening work looked good, but I added that I had no idea as to what I was meant to be looking at when we were there.
When we got back to the house I didn’t want to go back in yet as I didn’t think I could handle talking to someone who wasn’t stoned. We decided that it would be a better idea to go to the pub and so, instead of entering the premises we kept on walking.
Of course I had forgotten about the uphill that we had to traverse in order to get back into the main part of town and, as soon as I saw it, I began to balk at the idea of going.
“I don’t think that I can do this right now.”
“We’ve come this far. We can turn back, but are you sure that you want to?”
“I could go for a drink, but I don’t think I can handle going back into town. Not right now. I think I might be too high.”
“Come on man, you can do it. No one will know. Everyone’s probably going to have a few drinks in them by now.”
“I don’t know. I don’t think I can. It might be a bit too much. I also don’t think that I can get up this hill.”
“Come on man, you can do it. Fuck it if they know we’re stoned. Let’s just do it.”
“Alright.”
We started going up the incline, but within a few minutes of going up this hill I caved and gave up.
“No, I can’t do this. This is too much. I’m heading back. Let’s head back man.”
“Are you sure?”
“I’m sure. I can’t do this. This hill is too long and too steep.”
“…Alright. I’m kind of glad as this hill is too much to do right now.”
And so we turned back around and made a quick journey back to the house.
Once we were back at the house we had a quick walk around Ewe’s mum’s garden, despite it being very dark. I did not want to go inside yet as I felt that I was too stoned to be able to handle being around Ewe’s mum. We remained outside for a little while before Ewe began saying that he really just wanted to go back inside. He said that I could stay out there if I wanted to and come in when I was ready, but I decided that it was better that I faced my fear.
We went in and it looked like Ewe’s mum had already gone to sleep, and rather early too.
We had some food and decided to see what was on the TV. There was a show that Bindi Irwin was on, which caught Ewe off-guard.
“Holy shit, Bindi Irwin’s gotten old.”
“Well yeah. She has grown up.”
“Yeah, but I haven’t seen her in a while. I didn’t expect her to be so old.”
“Fair enough.”
We surfed the stations for a little while. Mandu, the cat of the house, was wandering about. When he came near us I sat on the floor next to him and started petting him, for about twenty minutes. Ewe watched for a while. It was intense as I was unable to stop. I found myself drawn into the act of petting the cat as it lay there enjoying the attention.
When I was able to finally stop Rage was coming on. I hadn’t watched Rage in a long time and, to both Ewe and I it started off with a lot of promise, but slowly descended into stuff that we thought was lacking in substance and quality.
Still, for the hour that we did watch we were still entertained. Some of it had us talking about times when we had blasted music in the afternoon, other parts had us thinking about how the music video had changed over time and become something that was still the same and yet completely different to what it was when it started.
Once we had had enough we tried to find something else that was on, but there wasn’t really anything that we felt was worth watching. It was either all too intense or far too dull.
It had taken a while, but the pot was finally wearing off at this point. I was finding myself thinking a little closer to something resembling rationality and I was also finding myself to be very tired. I went to bed, laid down and fell asleep.
This bit of writing is something Ewe and I did in 2014, that I later used in my first NaNoWriMo participation back in 2017. Life experience and all that.
I’ve tried to compress it quite a bit and keep editing minimal. The writing is not good (surprising I know) but I’m also wanting to preserve that. I was writing about the past and I hadn’t written a draft manuscript before, and it’s a reflection of what my writing was at the time. There is a little bit of fiction, but otherwise this is as it all happened.
So why am I sharing this?
I might have written about this before, but I can’t find it. Mainly, however, I like writing about my friendship with Ewe. We’ve done some silly and potentially dangerous stuff together, but we’ve also had some fantastic experiences. We have each other’s backs, and we’ve had our downs and ups, and he’s my best friend.
Anyway, I hope you enjoy.
—
Ewe and I met up after work at Central Station on Friday evening. We had finished around the same time and reached Central around the same time. We didn’t have too long to waste as, luckily enough there was a train heading to the mountains leaving shortly after we arrived.
The train ride to the mountains was not one that was enjoyable unless you had company and something good and lengthy to talk about. We had the company but conversation was slim for most of the trip. We talked about how fun it would be to go bushwalking in the morning and how nice it was to be heading away from the city for a weekend.
About an hour into our trip and we decided to see who could guess the time as to when we would reach Katoomba Station. There was no reason other than boredom sinking in a lot more than we had expected.
Ewe thought that it would be 9:30. I thought it would be 9:15.
The train arrived and stopped around 9:15, but Ewe delayed us getting off so the clock would tick over. As far as I was concerned, it still counted. As far as Ewe was concerned, I was wrong.
It was a cold evening which, considering it was early winter and we were in the Blue Mountains, was unsurprising.
“Fuck me it’s brisk.”
“It’s the mountains, marn.”
We walked down the hill and followed the path around the top of a park, then followed a few more streets to reach Ewe’s mum’s place.
When we arrived there was food there that was already ready for us. Ewe’s mum had already gone to sleep and I was feeling like doing the same as my sleeping pattern had decided that it would be best to become heavily disrupted once more.
Ewe wanted to head to the pub.
I ended up going along as I thought it might be better to just go there and relax a bit before going to sleep.
We walked back into town and headed to the pub next to the train station. Unlike the cold outside, the atmosphere felt warm and inviting.
The following morning Ewe and I got up early in the and had breakfast. Soon we were joined by Ewe’s mum.
“Good morning boys, how was the trip up?”
Ewe responded with “Not bad.”
“Well that’s good then.”
“Morning.”
“Hello. How have you been? It’s been a while.”
“I’m alright.”
“Hey mum, can you drive us to the Golden Stairs soon?”
“This early in the morning?”
“Yeah. We’re heading to Ruined Castle today. Rather get an early start.”
Ewe’s mum paused for a moment, thinking about her options.
“Alright. It’s close enough.”
Ewe and I finished breakfast, got our bags ready for the day and then headed out.
Once we were there Ewe’s mum said “Alright boys, be safe. I’ll see you this afternoon.” She turned around in her car and drove off, and Ewe and I began to make our descent down the Golden Stairs.
Vegetation was prominent but still fairly light whilst we were still at the top. Considering we had started from the Narrow Neck Plateau it made sense. The path followed the edge of the plateau as it descended, winding and curving without straying until it reached the base. As we descended the vegetation grew thicker, yet still allowed for plenty of space for the sky to occupy.
As the sun broke through the clouds I was able to see why the Golden Staircase was referred to as the Golden Staircase. Parts of it seemed to glow as the sunlight reached out to it, almost as a golden colour. It was a magnificent sight to behold.
Once we were at the base the canopy was thick and yet still allowed for enough light to come through so as to prevent the area from being dark.
We followed the path which was obvious and easy. There were rises and falls, but the path was ride and easy to navigate. There was nothing that could be considered challenging at this point.
We had a brief stop at an area that had been used as a camp ground before we continued on due to the temperature being too cold to afford us anything longer than a few minutes.
Eventually we reached a point where we had to walk up a steep incline. We almost missed it as there was no sign but thankfully Ewe remembered and after considering the path carefully, he made the decision for us to go up. I was a little worried about this as, despite the amount of bushwalking that I had done at Otford I couldn’t think of a time where I had gone up something that looked like you’d probably scramble up whilst sticking low to the ground. Ewe seemed to sense this in me and reassured me that it would be fine. After all, he was a mountain man who had been out to Ruined Castle before he knew it was safe.
Of course he was correct and I was worrying for no real reason. There were a few slips on loose gravel but there was nothing serious enough to cause injury and after a few minutes of struggling we were at the top of the incline and following a new path.
The new path was narrower than the original one and in parts much steeper, but it was still an easy trek. We had to be more careful and pay more attention to our surroundings but there was nothing too dangerous to worry about.
Plenty of trees were there, partially obscuring the view but this also somehow made the view better, especially when we had a clear line of sight. We weren’t too high up, but we still had some amazing views of valleys and bush with rising mountains around us.
The path seemed to gradually lead upwards, taking us higher and higher without much effort on our part needed.
We reached a point that we thought was Ruined Castle at first, but it turned out not to be and so on we continued until we reached a large rocky outcrop that was most likely to be Ruined Castle.
We dropped our stuff off once we reached this point and decided that the best course of action would be to have a bit of an explore around the area. Ewe went off on his own so I decided to try and climb one of the large rocks to get a better view for a photo. It seemed that regardless of how high I climbed, trees obstructed the view.
I got about halfway up the rock before I felt a strong wind so I decided to start going back down. When I looked down I found myself feeling a little more afraid than I had anticipated, so I very slowly made my way down whilst facing the face of the rock so as to not make myself feel more scared than I already was.
Luckily I was able to get down without the rock being blown off the side of where we were.
I wandered around for a bit, appreciating the sheer natural beauty and power of Ruined Castle, feeling a strong sense of wonder and awe. Ewe came back after a few minutes and asked: “So what do you think?”
“It’s alright.”
“Just alright?”
“Yeah. It’s alright, it’s pretty good.”
“I think it’s pretty cool.”
“It’s really nice to look at. Really relaxing and humbling.”
“Makes for a nice stop if you want to rest on a long walk.”
“Yeah.”
“We should probably head back soon.”
It was still the morning but we wanted to make sure that we were back at Ewe’s mum’s place in the afternoon. We weren’t sure as to how long it was going to take for us to get back as, instead of heading back up the Golden Staircase we were going to head back via Scenic World and then make our way back from there. It had taken us a couple of hours to get to Ruined Castle, so we figured that it would take us longer to get to Scenic World as it was further away.
We made our way back down to the original path a lot faster than I thought. It seemed that the incline was much easier to go down than it was to go up.
Once down we started making our way back to the direction of the Golden Staircase as beyond the turnoff for that was the path to Scenic World.
We made a little small talk on the walk but were mostly silent. I think we wanted to appreciate the beauty of the nature we were walking through. It was really peaceful and calm. Along the path there would be small puddles of sunlight among the shade along the path which created a nice contrast. As the morning progressed more and more bird sounds filled the space. The canopy above was thick, but it was not suffocating. Vegetation surrounding us was numerous and much fallen foliage was scattered throughout the area surrounding the path. When the path seemed to straighten out for a moment before becoming curvy once more, in unison we both “The long and winding road, dun dun, dun dunn dunnn!”.
There was a moment of elation as we realised that great minds think alike.
“We just did that at the same time. I can’t believe that just happened.”
“That was amaaaaaaaazing.”
Our path seemed to follow the curve of the cliffs that were near us.
After a while there was a gradual decline of large vegetation and rocky surfaces began to increase. Our path lead us further down into a valley into an area that was mostly rock. The change of environment was interesting to see as it was quite unexpected. Suddenly the visibility of the area was vast as there was little that could obscure our view. However, this did not last long as soon vegetation increased.
We were moving pretty quickly as we were concerned about running short on time and we weren’t sure as to how far away we were from Scenic World. It turned out that we didn’t need to be worried about the time at all as we reached Scenic World well before midday.
We had a brief break as we had been moving pretty quickly to get there.
During the walk Ewe and I had discussed our options when it came to getting to the top of the cliff. We could have kept on walking further until a path lead upwards, but this would have added much more time to the journey than we already wanted to spend. Our best choice was catching the funicular to the top. It would give us some nice views and we would save energy that we’d need for the walk back to Ewe’s mum’s place.
So we hopped onto the funicular when it was ready to go and, once it took off the terror that came with being pulled upward at a really steep angle up the face of a cliff set in.
I couldn’t shake the feeling that the cable pulling the funicular up was going to snap and we were going to die. This was not how I wanted to go. I was gripping one of the handle bars tightly. Was this really how my life was going to end? Was this really how it all happened? Clearly my fate was tied and there was nothing that I could do about it, but I so verily wished that this was not how I was going to die.
No, I wasn’t going to die. I was just being paranoid. The funicular was very safe. I was safe. This trip had been done plenty of times. If there were any signs of danger then the funicular would not be operating. It would be shut for maintenance. I was safe. I was fine. We are passing through this opening in the cliff really fast. That rock wall is really close. I’m going to die. I don’t want to die.
And so on.
Ewe was gripping a handle bar for dear life as much as I was, but he was probably handling it better than I. That’s what I hoped.
When we reached the top I was relieved to discover that I had not died.
I asked Ewe “How’d you find that?”
“That was pretty full on. Not bad, but it was a bit much. How about you?”
“It was pretty intense.”
It was probably due to our not moving as quickly, but the top of the cliff felt much cooler than the bottom. We had to put our jackets back on.
We decided to sit down for a while and have something to eat before we headed back to rest.
After finding a nice bench in a quiet spot of the area, Ewe began to pull snacks out of his bag that he brought along. Whilst handing me some food, he said “It’s been a pretty good day today. We got through that walk a lot faster than I thought we would.”
“Yeah, I thought it was going to take much longer as well.”
“That was only, what… four, four-and-a-half hours?”
“Somewhere around that. Didn’t the signs we saw indicate that it would take five or six, or something longer?”
“Yeah. That was probably meant to be a day walk. Well, if we had started at Scenic World it would have been.”
“People are just slow.”
“Possibly. Maybe we were moving much faster.”
“Yeah. We need to come back here some time. It’s such a lovely area. Ruined Castle was really nice. It was pleasant to be in the bush of the Blue Mountains again.”
“Yeah, it’s pretty nice to visit on the occasion.”
The walk back to Ewe’s mum’s place was pretty uneventful. Once again we were mostly silent. The roads were long and easy, and due to how straight they were, gave us a nice view of the sudden steep incline back into the main area of Katoomba.
We got back a little after midday. Ewe’s mum was in the living room and greeted us warmly.
“How was the walk, boys?”
“It was fairly easy. Straightforward.”
“Yeah, it went by much quicker than we expected it would be.”
“Oh. How long were you expecting it to take?”
“Longer. We thought we’d be back late in the afternoon.”
“Did you get to Ruined Castle? Was it nice?”
“Yeah. It was pretty good.”
“I’m glad to hear it. Are either of you hungry?”
“No, I’m fine.”
“We ate after we got back to the top.”
“Well how about you both get clean and then tell me all about it?”
The rest of the afternoon was spent relaxing in the living room talking with Ewe’s mum.
One listen and I was considering doing this yesterday, but other things to work on.
I think I did okay here. Just went in, Let whatever come forward, didn’t actively think too much. Could be better, could be worse.
Austin Wintory’s “The Call” is from Journey, the soundtrack for Journey.
I hope you enjoy.
—
A high pitch of sound, possibly woodwind, and from it comes string, humming along. Something low, windy underneath blows and the string follows that wind. A rush builds, grows loud, grows massive, swallows everything into a cacophony that suddenly stops and lets all fall to brief silence.
Sound returns, percussion rustles above a flat, scraped space. string lingers for a moment, then disappears. Other sound takes shape, loops, repeats, and something starts emerging forward. Sound builds again, crying out, then fades as woodwind drifts on in.
A strike. melody and drama rise for a moment, full, then settle as string repeats its following of the wind, seemingly stuck on a few moments as the underneath fills out more space. It’s not long, before it stops and the song ends.
You ever stop and think about hands, and I mean really think? About how they look and move, and how we use them? How they age and change and remain the same throughout our lives? How we can make them look, and how they help to express?
We take our hands for granted, and we are so lucky to have them.
Here is a study of my hands across four photos. Generally I’m more interested in form and shape as expression rather than the subject itself (so to speak), as well as lines, abstraction and relational context. The more I photograph, the more interested I become in trying to experiment. That said, these are definitely direct explorations as hands and hand form, but perhaps they say something a bit more.
This is my submission into Leanne Cole‘s “Monochrome Madness” for this week. I have the good fortune of hosting this one and, as it’s themed, I’ve chosen “Hands”.
This challenge is open to all, and I recommend joining in. If want to, check out more information about it here, and include the tag “monochrome-madness” when you share your photo. If you’d prefer not to join in, then at the least check out Leanne’s photography, and what other people submit.
I hope you enjoy.
One listen.
I was wanting to write about another song today when I wrote this earlier. Decided on this song… I don’t know why. I think it was mostly due to not doing many songs with vocals. I’m not sure as to how well I covered the song though. This does describe it, sure, but it might be a little too far away.
Crow’s “Light” is from My Kind of Pain.
I hope you enjoy.
—
A low hum which guitar comes out above, playing light notes. Percussion approaches, tense and dark, along with bass, and the guitar continues. Vocals float and drift, and seem more a sound than something clear. More guitar hums and stretches and soon it all changes. There’s a greater thrust; a drive before it pulls back to darkness once more.
The second guitar hums and stretches, and moves through time whilst the vocals become a bit more clear, but still indistinct. Once more the instruments rise and drive, and then they unleash into a torrent of rage, massive, swirling and scraping. The vocals howl before it hits a sort of pause point.
A return to the main pattern, but a little lighter. A bit more tense, though also quiet. It flows on in beats and stays in its darkness. The vocals return, seemingly more distant, but also closer, in a dark night. Everything takes off once more, swirling in a fury that reaches for something greater; something of a release, perhaps.
All grows in intensity, and pushes on, continues thundering forward before everything stops and grows quiet as the song ends.
Sweat, just pouring out. Too much coffee and not enough liquid. sweating heavily, letting all the heat out, waiting for the heat to get back in. Might end up cold, don’t wanna be cold right now. Don’t wanna be hot either. Want to be in that nice middle space where it’s all nice and pleasant.
But what is pleasant? How can it be pleasant? How do we reach pleasantness? Where do I find such a thing, and is it even worth looking for?
I don’t know. I know I’m meant to be editing at the moment. I’m meant to chip away at the stone and turn the featureless into something featuring features, but I don’t know if I will be. Too much of not enough, and not enough is often too much.
I’m sitting here. I’m sweating. I’m filling the room with my sweat and my odorous sweat scent, and I might be fine right now, but who knows how long it’ll be before I start needing to swim. Didn’t even know I had that much in me, but I guess this is where my true potential has always been. It just took a series of inopportune happenings to come to fruition, or something.
So now I can be an Olympic sweater. Just let loose in a focused and dedicated manner. See who can out-sweat the other, and it’ll always be me, for I am too apathetic to stop. I’m beyond embarrassment. Your judging cannot hurt me. Can’t do me in. I’m invincible, because I’ve been judged enough to reach a point where I do not have the energy to give a shit. So I’m not worried about the inundation and I’m not worried about the aroma. I’m not bothered by its pungent engulfing eventually reaching me, because I just don’t care. My sole duty is to be the best and I can do that by simply not moving around too much, and letting everything loose and coming out.
I do know, however, that once this is all over, I will have to probably drink a lot of water. Might need a rehydration tablet, or something. Sure I can get a sponsorship for that and then I’ll be a bit more set. You know, one of those ones where I show up in the ad and you see my sweating all done and I’ll say something like “Nothing like a hard day of sweat to really work up a thirst and drain you”, and then you’ll see one of the tablets dropped into a nice glass of water and it’ll dissolve, and then I’ll have a sip and make the refreshing noise as sculling wouldn’t look too professional or charming. You don’t want to see that on tv when you’re trying to advertise a rehydration tablet. Besides which, there’s not much that’s considered professional or charming about sculling, anyway. Kind of can be repulsive, if admirable at the best of times, but I’d rather be professional about a product endorsement.
The time it took to write five-hundred words: 07:00:69
I think I did alright with this one. All sorts of silly, but it doesn’t spent much time repeating and stretching, which is nice.
Written at work.
One listen.
I did a few checks on this one to see if I’d written it before. Yesterday I found out that I wrote about “Brink of Time” (“時の最果て”) twice, so I combined them into one piece. Been a bit zealous in my checking since. Perhaps overzealous.
I think I was trying to do better than I did yesterday. I mean, I’m always trying to do better, but I felt I dropped the ball yesterday and really wanted to correct, and I’m not sure if I was successful, but I’m happy with my attempt. That said, I didn’t move around enough. Sort of got stuck a bit.
Nobuo Uematsu’s (植松 伸夫) “Sealed Door” (“封印の扉”) is from Chrono Trigger‘s soundtrack, Chrono Trigger Original Sound Version. Whilst the soundtrack is mainly Yasunori Mitsuda’s (光田 康典) work, Nobuo composed some of its tracks.
I hope you enjoy.
—
Keys come in, fragile and perhaps lonely. Gloomy. Strings follow soon and there is another scaling in the background. A dramatic punctuation, and it’s all weighted. Weighted heavily.
A sort of loop before continuing on, getting across a sense of heaviness still, perhaps pushing it further down. Some sounds then pull away and a little light in the gloom, but more a continuing hope of sorts in this thick darkness. Perhaps it’s a moment of dedication, and the strings return and push it on back down.
A return to the start and that hope and dedication remains. There remains a pushing onward despite how hopeless things seem, and then when it gets back to that lighter section there’s curiosity. Mystery and the questions that may come, and naturally some answers by only pushing through. Even when the strings return again, it remains, but it’s faint as there is hope, but it needs the right action and time.
The sounds fade and the song ends.
One listen. Thought I could write about the song well enough and didn’t. Just kind of summarised and didn’t do much digging in. It’s a fairly simple piece with a lot to grab onto and I didn’t grab onto it.
Yasunori Mitsuda’s (光田 康典) “Schala’s Theme” (サラのテーマ”) is from Chrono Trigger‘s soundtrack, Chrono Trigger Original Sound Version.
—
Percussion ringing and moving in a silence, moving back and forth. Not quite swaying. Strings lower through the percussion, and when they reach a base, another set of light percussion comes in. Soon those strings move again, along with something that could be woodwind; could be something else.
There’s a drama here that repeats; a weight of innocence, or purity, or kindness, or all. And it leads into a silence of just percussion before coming back with the flicker of a harp.There is urgency, and there is weight. The weight of decision, of pushing against, of trying to push on. And once more it’s just percussion before everything fades and the song ends.
So a couple of dead days but otherwise I’ve kept on going. Hoping I can get another review or two done this week. Hoping to keep up the momentum.
What has happened? Usually my bursts don’t last this long. Am I… improving?
No. Impossible.
But it’s another day like any other another day, and the sun is out and it’s all sorts of cold, but it’s a nice cold. It’s a nice day. It’s a day to walk in the dark and try and get places, and I did over two buses, and maybe it’ll be another day of that tomorrow too. Maybe it’ll keep on going, and that would be fancy, or not.
It’s a day to get stuff done, and boy golly am I looking forward to getting stuff done. A few rambles, a few rants, and maybe some words. Some words that make sense. The right ones to find among all the rubbish. The wrong ones to include so everything gets cluttered and obscured, and soon it’ll all reveal itself as it normally does, or something.
I need to take a bunch of photos and I’ll be taking them this afternoon. They’re going to be for something happening in a few days and I’ve tried to get some and they haven’t turned out, so I need to work out the how of how to take these, because I’ve no idea. Actually, I do have an idea, but I don’t know how to go about doing it… except I probably know more than I think I do and it just spirals out and away from the main point of this.
It’s a good day to be moving and perhaps it’s a good day to be working, but I’d rather be on the move. I’d rather not be stationary. I’d rather keep driving and “look” for myself, or “search deep” within. You know, those sorts of things. Things that I don’t need to do, but strongly desire to to.
Also keep on writing. Definitely a good day to keep on writing. Churn out those words, write in a blank book, find where all the threads lie and if they can be tied back together, or if it is far too late for that kind of thing. A lot of searching and working out and driving and feeling some sort of ennui creep into my life, though it was not there and really I was finally in a position for success and didn’t like it as it was not the success I wanted, which to be fair, I get that, but at the same time, not acceptable in the slightest.
But here I am at work and I’m going to get through the day. I’m going to find all the points that matter and, hopefully, I’ll connect them together and that will be that, and life will go on and I’ll head on home and take those photos that I need to take, and it’ll lead into a pleasant evening.
The time it took to write five-hundred words: 05:53:68
Good speed and the writing was okay. Would’ve preferred an exploration on the idea of not hitting writer’s block and being surprised, but that’s not how it turned out.
Written at work.
Stupidity Hole 