Actually, I don’t.
I don’t like the idea of trying to control others.
Admittedly, sometimes you need to nudge people to get them to do something but you shouldn’t be forceful with it.

My ex felt I was controlling her a lot.
I never was. However, I can see how she came to that conclusion.

I’m not good with words. I’ll go to say something and it will not come out in a good way.

An example would be how I ask people to do stuff around the house.
Instead of asking if someone can do something, I’ll ask them if they would like to do it.

A better example would be that instead of discussing what I thought a problem was, I would tell my ex what I thought and tell her to stop doing it.

Due to my shitty attitude towards the end, I would be very blunt and somewhat direct in getting my ex to do things my way or doing things I wanted to do. I would consider the alternatives she presented, but I would always shoot them down instead of being open to them.

So how do I change this?

I can start by considering my words much more carefully when I use them.

I can also stop being closed off to different options when it comes to doing things. Discussing them instead of dismissing them goes a long way.

Reading this, it doesn’t seem like it’s entirely controlling behaviour, but it’s the effect it has that makes it what it is.

It wss never my intention to come across that way but I managed to do it spectacularly. As it is probably quite ingrained into her mind, that I’m not trying to control my ex will be one of the things I will have the most difficulty convincing her of.

Thankfully, this is one of the easier things for me to turn around.

I’ve already begun to.