This was kind of my attempt to add to my NaNoWriMo rambling this morning.
Went elsewhere. Kind of an exploratory thing, kind of empty waffle.
I hope you enjoy.
Sitting here, doing that thing that I usually do. Going to try and avoid repetition as much as I can, but to be honest we already know how this will likely turn out. I’ll see what I can do, but no promises.
Anyway, I’ve already started and I don’t know as to what I’m going to cover this morning. I think that all of the writing that I’ve been doing this month has left me bereft of things more so than usual, which may or may not be a problem. It gets the junk out of the way, but right now I’m just struggling. Maybe I need a rest. Maybe I need to recharge. There are probably a lot of things that I need at this point, but my stubbornness demands that I persists. There is no stopping. I must continue with the going forward into territory that I know not about in the hopes that I get through in one piece on the other side. Whether this does happen or not is another story entirely, but I have to keep pretending to try. If I don’t, then how am I to continue on with whatever it is that I am doing?
Well, now that I’ve said that, I guess now the struggle really sets in. You see, I’ve been struggling for a bit and now I’m struggling some more. I keep on pushing on but now I’ve run out of things to say this early on in the writing, so the topic has now become about my running out of things to say so early on. I think this might just be a bit of a problem that is piling on top of all of the other problems and so now I just sit here and twiddle my thumbs, though in my kind in the hopes that something comes up and I can just keep on going on and get on with all of it. I’m tired. I want more sleep. should not have gone to bed so late. Maybe that’s the true cause of all of this.
Maybe it is not and I’m just deceiving myself once more. Maybe it is truly time to admit once more that I’ve taken on more than I should. Sure, I’m not melting down, but that does not mean that I’m doing alright with all of the excess writing. I guess it is the way that it goes and, as mentioned a little earlier, I’m just going to keep on going with the whole thing and hope for the best. There are less than ten days to go before the writing eases off, so that is a good thing. I’ll be able to relax sooner rather than later, I hope.
Maybe then a swarm of ideas will come flooding down the river of my mind and December will be the most creative that I have been in a while. Of course what I’m hoping for here is probably unlikely, but there is no telling as to what will happen. Need to keep an open mind about the whole thing. Need to stay steady and sturdy. If I close off now, then there is no telling as tow hat I will miss out on. Therefore, I shall not close off now and instead close off a little later so as to see what happens.
Now, the question becomes thus: How much later is later enough? There is no telling, of course, but perhaps we can divine some sort of inference based on the information at hand.
Now, in knowing that later comes “later”, which is to say at a future point in time that is not the current point in time, we know that at some point in the indeterminate future there will be a point where later will arrive, so long as I consider later to be a set point in time for this particular event rather than something that will keep on moving forward. Important information to consider.
Now, we need to consider as to what it is that we are waiting for, or in this instance what it is that I am waiting for. What I am waiting for is a sudden increase of ideas of which to build things off of in order to make my writing more interesting, or at least gripping, or something else entirely. This is indeed what I am waiting for, as though inspiration will just flow into me like the water that I drink when I drink water from a receptacle holding water. This is something else to consider.
What are the pressures? What is it that I feel is causing myself to run out of that proverbial steam? Perhaps it is NaNoWriMo. That is what I believe the main pressure to be in this instance. Adding so much more writing to my writing is causing me to struggle a bit. It can help with the writing as it cuts all the waffling out and makes me a little more focused, but perhaps it is not distilling things properly and there is a lot that is escaping outward due to my decision to participate once more in a thing that creates a lot of stress for myself.
How do I go about removing this pressure? I could stop now. That would probably be the smart thing to do. However, the thing with doing that is that it then means that I do not complete NaNoWriMo. It’s not about the sunk cost; it’s about wanting to complete what I start. There is little time left and I am rather ahead, so what I can do at this point, at least, is write a little less rather than a little more. That way it takes a bit of the pressure off and I still might just finish ahead. That would be a smart thing to do as that would give me a little bit more time to rest and relax and all those other things.
Now, will I do that? Probably not. Maybe I’m a glutton for punishment in that regard.
I also need to consider that perhaps the reason why ideas are not coming to me is that I am not looking for them. I have only explored a small subset of a small region and I can truly branch out from here, but instead of the ideas needing to come to me, I need to go and find them. I need to find out where those ideas are lurking and study them and then learn from them and then go from there in the hopes that it unlocks something and then I can write about that idea and take it to the proverbial bank and then write some more.
That all said, I do know that once I am done with NaNoWriMo, I will be relaxing a little more and perhaps that will mean that I can search for the ideas a little more efficiently and take it all from there.
I don’t know as to why I have written all of this. I know that once this month is over I will be able to explore things a bit more. I also know that perhaps I should not have undertaken the extra writing this month and I would have probably been fine. That said, there is a chance that things would be the same and I would be writing this all out anyway. That is a thing that happens sometimes and that is something that I cannot ignore.
Maybe I really should just stop writing for a little while. that too is a good idea. However, that certainly is something that I do not want to do as I do really enjoy the art of writing and that is something that I don’t want to stop. I just need to keep on digging out of my hole. However, in this case I feel as though I’ve dug myself a cavern and I’m firmly entrenched in it now. That might also be an issue.
Well, I think that now that I’ve said all of that I need to think of other things to say, but right now I don’t have anything. I’m tired and I’m lazy and I start work soon and that unfortunately requires more of my time this morning. I don’t have much of a say in that, but at least it will give me a time to listen to music and take care of other things, or something.
Well, taking care of other things just means taking care of work, so really, I’m not doing much of anything and that may be a problem, but seeing as I get paid for it I guess it’s alright. Could be worse and all that other stuff.
Hoping for a relaxed day. Don’t know if it will be relaxed, but that is what I hope for and I can keep on hoping. Maybe it will be busy and go by quickly. That isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Just need energy at the end of the day so I can keep on doing other things that I need to take care of. The day doesn’t end with work but instead it just transitions to something else where I keep on working. That’s kind of okay.
Alright, I think I’ve said enough for now, so I’m just going to stop with the writing now. There isn’t much time left and I don’t know as to what else I can say that I haven’t already said. Well, there are plenty of things that I can say, but right now I don’t think I have the ability to give them what they require in order to truly flourish, so yeah.
Or maybe I can give them what they need to flourish, but that would require a bit of gardening and so I don’t feel like doing that right now as a few minutes to sow some things and then water and fertilise them is not enough time to get it done properly and so I really should just stop and get on with it, as now this is all more pointless than usual, so I’ll worry about the other stuff a bit later.