Finished work. What now? There are things that I’ll be doing soon but I’ve a little time to kill. Could spend it resting. Could spend it editing. Don’t really know.

Kind of a bit worried about my recent burst of productivity. Just riding it out and doing what I can. Need to stick to doing what I can without burning out and need to keep powering on as I know this burst isn’t going to last. So long as I can do a fair bit now I can probably ride it out gently and then maybe I’ll not lose so much steam. Maybe I won’t be down for another good few months, struggling to get anything done. Maybe.

However, now it is the end of the work day and I’ve time to kill but I don’t want to get into something I might not be able to finish before I tear off. I don’t want to get into the zone and then have to leave the zone, then force myself back into the zone later tonight. Maybe now is the time for rest and I’m not getting the most out of that right now as instead of resting I’m just wasting energy wondering about something that I shouldn’t spend energy wondering about and so now I think I should just go wander over somewhere and deal with things in a more productive manner, but there is no production happening here and so I’ve no produce to produce.

Perhaps I’m going about this the wrong way and instead I should be letting myself burn more energy so I don’t take a shift down followed by having to shift back up. If I keep the energy flowing then I don’t worry about having to stop resting. However, I can’t think of anything that would help to carry me forward in a way that would make sure the energy stays consistent and flowing and so I don’t know what I should do.

Maybe worrying about what I am and am not doing is what I’m meant to be doing, but it doesn’t seem very conducive to ensuring I’m making the most of my time before I need to head off. It seems like a bit of a waste and it seems like it would put me in a state of stress. Right now I need significantly less stress in my life. I need to unwind and turn into some sort of liquid and just flow toward a low point where I can be a puddle for a short amount of time.

Anyway, I think I’ve spent too much time rambling on right now. I won’t do more creating right now, but maybe I will later when I return. Keep riding the wave and not worry about that stuff right now.

Then again, maybe I will worry about not creating right now. Maybe I’ll do that and burn out and turn into a star from how intensely I burn out from all the worrying.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 07:34:64

Stumbled a bit with this ramble. I think it works well. It’s rough but it works well. However, I think I could’ve gone a bit further into talking about worrying as I kind of skimmed the surface.

Written at home.