Alright so I’m going to try and get a bit of writing done in a short amount of time. I’m quite cold but I’m going to try and do it anyway. Maybe it will help me warm up. It might not, but it might.

Now the thing is I’m not sure as to where I can go from here. I make these proclamations of the small variety and then I find myself stuck. I don’t know if I should go here or there and I don’t know if I can really achieve what it is that I’ve set out to achieve. Of course I should try, however, as that is much better than not trying.

Well, doing something more productive is better but I’m going for the next best thing.

So in a sense I’m now stumbling through a bit of writing but I’m getting there. This isn’t working as well as I’d hoped but maybe it is. Maybe I am warming up a bit and through that warming I am getting better and creating these lengthy sentences; at least for the duration of this bit of writing. Maybe I won’t be better at doing this in about twenty minutes when I inevitably go back to being cold, but you never know with these things.

Or you do.

Or you do and don’t at the same time and then you need to work out things about how to go about doing the thing that you’re doing at that particularly point in time as you know not anymore and you’ve spent far too much of your life living in a miasma of confusion and deceit and suddenly all has been revealed and it was just you the whole time, trying to work out where your head had floated off to. It was always on your shoulders and you just didn’t bother to check, and that will teach you a valuable lesson about making sure that all is good and all is fine before you step out of wherever it is that you live next time.

Anyway, before all that there are things to take into consideration and if you don’t do that, then who are you? Who are you to claim that you truly know what is best and better than all?

Where am I going with this?

So I don’t know what it is that I’m going to say with this bit of writing, but it’s a different kind of not knowing this time as I know less than usual. Not too worried, but maybe I am not worried enough. Maybe there is a lot of worry I need to take care of so as to be able to trust in what I’m saying, even if I choose to deny it later due to receiving new information that reveals a whole bunch of things, and then some. Maybe this is something that I need to truly and utterly think about so hard that I shake the very foundations I have.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 05:40:40

This feels like a mess. The idea of looking over it just makes me want to not. To be fair, that’s a reaction I have to a lot of the writing I do, but I’m more hesitant than usual with this one.

Written at home.