So if I give myself five minutes to write I can give myself twenty minutes to walk and then I can go and start the day in a way that expresses some sort of spectacular dazzling in a wonderful display of errors, and then I can ask myself where I am and where I am going, and all the other fun questions that follows ones legs and bites at the ankles, or rather nips at the ankles… I don’t know which one is correct, but I know one of those might be.

In the grand scheme of things there are things and there is stuff, and realistically I should just go for the walk instead of writing and then going, but I wanted to do this beforehand and doing this beforehand is what I am currently doing, and I don’t know why. There are other, far more important things to deal with and I’m dealing with them by doing things, but one tries, or something. Maybe I’m not trying and just doing the whole spinning on the spot thing still, but I’m telling myself I’m not.

To be fair, it’s a pretty large spot.

So the day is young and the weather is worrying, but today is a little cooler than what tomorrow will be and that’s nice. I have to tell myself that that’s nice and that’s okay, because if I don’t then I’ll probably despair more than I already am, but maybe things will be okay. Maybe things will wash away and it will be all okay and then I can rest and you get the idea.

I’m gonna stride and I’ll keep on pushing forward, and eventually I’ll get some sleep and I’ll sleep better than I had on prior nights, and that’ll be nice. That’ll be earned… well, not really, but it will feel like it was earned and feeling like is good enough sometimes. Sometimes the best you can get is the feeling than the actuality and that’s all good. You just can’t rely on it. You don’t want it to be a crutch, and so you keep on going and you keep on pushing through all the crap to try and get ahead of where you currently are, or at lest get some sort of reprieve that gives you some time to rest.

I don’t know where I’m going with this, so I think I’ll keep it short and get into the next bit, whatever that next bit may be.

So it’s a nice day and I’m at work, and things feel alright. Could be better; could be worse, but things feel alright. Things feel like they’re moving at a good pace, and I’m enjoying myself. I’m tired and I’m in pain, but I’m doing okay and things don’t seem as bleak on a personal level. In the grand scheme of things there’s a lot of work that needs to be done, but that’s for another time and day, and that’s a collective effort.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 05:38:13

Bit of a nothing writing. More relaxed thoughts, or something. I don’t know.

Written at work.