This one took a while, in part for me to actually get words down and in part for me to work out what to write. It was more time thinking about than writing, however, though the editing took quite a few hours, and probably more than the writing. I cut around two thousand words from the whole thing, and it was worthwhile. Through it, more of what I was trying to get across came forward and I was able to fill out the parts I needed to, and it was good work. The end result isn’t as concise as it could be; the writing is a bit sloppy, but I wanted some of that sloppiness to come through.

This essay was published earlier today on From Somewhere out the Back. If you’ve been following my stuff here long enough, then you’ll recognise the name as the title for when I write about music releases in my music collection. I’d been intending to dedicate a space for those pieces for a while, and of course rather than hold to that, the space expanded to more experiential essay stuff, which is where those writings about music were heading anyway. So check out this piece there too.

I hope you enjoy.

—

Wednesday the thirteenth of October, Two thousand-and-four. It’s not an important date for a lot of people, but for me it was the date that kicked of a years-long hunt for a film.

At the time I was working as a grommet at a place called Ocean Foods. The pay was variable and it lasted only a few weeks. I think six. On the above date, in the afternoon and before I headed to work I was watching SBS. I was looking for something to do. Didn’t want to listen to radio; didn’t want to game; didn’t feel like reading, so TV it was.

When I turned the TV on and switched to SBS, a film was playing. There was something about it that my teenager brain found appealing, so I watched the rest of it. After it finished I headed off to work and forgot about it for a while.

A number of years later I thought about the film. Don’t know why, but I decided to look for it. I went through the SBS website. Couldn’t find it. Forgot about it. Time passed. Tried again. Dug a little deeper. No luck.

This cycle continued on for a while, and at some point I started using Google. There were things from the film I vaguely remembered, such as a joking line about a cat being on heat and the main character teaching a boy to swim. The main thing that I would search for was “Asian film boy drowns” and variations thereof, as that’s what I remembered the most. I’d try that, and I’d try different combinations of fragments of the film that came to memory. I tried putting details into a forum post and got no response. I’d occasionally look at the SBS website again, just to see if anything would be there, but I found it to be less helpful as time went on. The Internet changed, and so did many websites.

I came across a website that archived Australian TV guides and so occasionally I would check that. Nothing.

This was a rather casual obsession for me, but when that obsession came to the surface it was a good few hours of dedicated searching and a good few hours of coming across other films but not what I was looking for.

Some point in two thousand-and-nineteen. Likely the twenty-sixth of November. I think I was talking to one of my housemates about the search. My partner was in the room and said something about looking through newspaper archives, see if they had anything. I think I was a little dismissive of the idea, but I hadn’t tried any newspapers, so why not? So the following day I tried some newspaper websites, and… nothing.

I then decided to try a newspaper website via The Wayback Machine. More digging. Finding snapshots of places that linked to other places that no longer exist. Getting to an archived TV guide. Digging through my rough recollection of when I saw the film. Found the day. Found the film.

I didn’t know if the title I saw was it, but it seemed to be, and so I tried doing a search with it. Success. A few more hours later and I got myself a copy of the film, and then the day after that I watched it. I watched it with my partner and our housemates. I then watched it with my friend Brenden and we talked about it on Podcast Eater. It was enjoyable, but I had questions.

—

Nagisa (なぎさ) is a film about the titular Nagisa whose name, as far as my understanding goes, means “Beach”, though it could also man “Seashore”. The film is an adaptation of the seinen manga, Nagisa, created by Motoka Murakami (村上もとか). Despite various anachronistic structures and vehicles suggesting otherwise, the film occurs during one coastal summer in the sixties and Nagisa lives a lively, small kind of life. She hangs out with her friend; she tries to get good grades to get a record player for herself, and when that falls through she gets a summer job to afford the record player.

I can’t quite remember if Sydney summers were unpleasant as a kid. I do remember some days being too hot, and these days I find the season unpleasant. Sure, it can be fun but I feel warm most of the time so often I feel more like I’m dealing with it rather than enjoying. What Nagisa views summer as is a lively period, and one to embrace, even if it’s a period of learning and understanding.

Over the summer Nagisa comes across different forms of romance. She lightly sees her mother’s experience, more prominently her cousin’s, and dominantly her own after a chance meeting with a boy she then decides to teach how to swim. The way it all comes through carries a sense of experience and personality, which makes sense; Based on where they are in life, the three have different understandings and views on what they consider romance. Naturally the focus is more on Nagisa’s experience, however. There’s a sort of “naturally awkward” youthfulness between her and the boy she teaches to swim, and their interactions, whilst a bit stiff, still come off as being sweet.

Beyond romance, Nagisa also deals with issues around friendship, impressionability, and her own concerns about social class and tragedy. The friendship issues and impressionability are more obvious, but these (along with the romance) are all things that the narrative has to deal with and it does so willingly, albeit with a bit too much willingness to brush over some things. That said, conclusions come from actions more often than words, and that’s true here.

Nagisa often feels low-key, for good and ill. There are times when scenes feel like they should be more dramatic, and some that feel like they drag, though everything is fittingly matter-of-fact. The framing is often utilitarian, though the scenery it captures is pleasing enough. The acting feels appropriate, though there are times where the actors seem to fall flat and others where they’re excellent, and it can be difficult to tell when for either upon repeat watches. At the very least the kid actors feel like kids, and if you believe their performances, a lot of the film and its smallness becomes easier to enjoy.

Nagisa also makes really good use of music. Often there isn’t any; it’s mostly the sounds of the setting, and it works. There are times when it seems emphasised, but that could just be the pulse of summer. When there is music, however, it’s really, REALLY fitting, even if it can come off as a bit on the nose. It underscores and allows the mood to permeate more often than it tries to dictate, so it’s working with what’s going on rather than against it. Most importantly, however, is that it’s never verbose.

What Nagisa goes through is transformative, but Nagisa doesn’t make a show and tell of it. Instead it allows her to still be a kid and allows her to have fun with her friend at the end. It’s heartwarming and it says a lot with very little. It’s a bit of life, and even if you go through some hard stuff, it’s nice to know that your friends are still gonna be there for you.

—

Last year when I started writing about Nagisa beyond the few scraps I had, I found out that it was getting a blu-ray re-release. As far as I’m aware it’s not a well-known film, though its website still exists. Even finding information on the manga beyond the basic isn’t easy. Still, it mean something to someone out there, so wonderful timing. I told Brenden about it and interrupted him streaming to get him to watch the trailer.

Somewhere around then I was thinking about how to finish this piece off. I was going to say something about how thinking about Nagisa made me want to watch it again. Instead I decided to watch it with a few friends and see what they thought. I got my friends Darsh and Kevin involved; Brenden was down for another watch, but he had stuff going on.

—

Kevin: I liked the film.

Me: Darsh, what did you think? Let’s give Kevin a moment to decide whether he’s going to hurt our feelings or not.

Kevin: *laughs*

Darsh: *laughs* I really enjoyed it. It’s a slice of life thing. Always love those types of things, being transported to a sixties Japanese coastal town. Love the nostalgic tone. It felt like I was watching someone’s life and thinking of simpler times. It felt really wholesome.

It’s an adolescence, coming of age thing which is always nice.

Kevin: I particularly liked the guilt and shame over poverty specifically. I like the way that you had the contrasting characters in different social situations, and of course, you have to play out the “You don’t understand it from my angle”, but Nagisa is someone who’s literally looking at the sun all their life and cannot touch it, whereas someone else lives in it.

Me: So did you both think it was a good film?

Kevin: Yeah, for sure.

Darsh: I think so. It was a nice thing to pass the time with. It was a pleasant watch.

Me: I like it but I do think it does drag in some places. It’s also just kind of an interesting film as well.

Darsh: The reason I like it is because it drags and it’s not perfect. For me, it adds to the realism a bit. I like the meandering sometimes, you know?

Kevin: The dance was super long in the party that they had, where I was like “Okay, this is long”.

Darsh: *laughs* Actually, yeah.

Kevin: But at the same time they built up to it, so it’d be weird if they didn’t do anything with it.

Me: It felt like the actors were having fun with it, but it also felt awkward and stiff.

Kevin: Were they doing the twist?

Me: And the monkey.

Kevin: I did like how they did grounding with specific products, objects and things, and specifically the ending one, with the Pop Rocks or whatever it was, ’cause it’s like they were moving on from their summer vacations and things and into adulthood, or… whatever.

Me: *laughs*

Kevin: Advanced adolescence and it’s just like it’s gonna be weird and new and hard handle. Yeah. Good stuff.

Me: Well summer is the young adulthood, and autumn is the move towards decrepitude, right? So I guess what it really represents – the Pop Rocks and the end of summer – is that now they can appreciate the things that they couldn’t before.

Darsh, do you know what we call those here?

Darsh: Actually that’s a good question. I’ve never had them that much, to be honest. Was it Fizzy Pop? I think that we call it Fizzy Pop.

Me: No, that was different. That was kind of powdery (and also known as Wizz Fizz). Aren’t Pop Rocks kind of crunchy or something? Kevin, are they crunchy?

Kevin: I’ve seen both, but I am thinking of the powdery ones ’cause you’d get sticks with them and dip the stick in and then lick them.

Me: I don’t remember us having a stick, but I remember us having a tiny little spade.

Darsh: Oh yeah, I remember that.

Me: You’d lick it off the spade and you’d get stuff caught in the corners of the spade that you’d never be able to get.

—

Nagisa was director Masaru Konuma’s (小沼 勝) penultimate film. He was known for mainly making pink films; Why a slice of life movie was one of his last, I don’t know. Perhaps he wanted to to be known for something other than his NSFW oeuvre. It’s possible he enjoyed the manga, or maybe he was feeling sentimental about his childhood. Maybe he was longing for that childhood. Maybe it was money.

The search for Nagisa felt like a lifetime. So much and nothing happened in those fifteen years. Relationships coming and going, staring at the ceiling, boredom, entertainment. Jobs, university, growing up. Hours spent listening to the roaring of waves and the silence of a breeze. So much, and nothing at all. In reflection the time feels short, but it still feels like a lifetime.

During the first two watches after I obtained a copy I was wondering why I was enjoying the film. Mainly if I was enjoying it because I felt obligated to; that I had to because I spent so much time looking. Coming back to it with Darsh and Kevin, I knew what was coming and I knew that some parts could drag. I don’t know if it was due to that, but I found myself a bit more loose and relaxed with it, and enjoying Nagisa for what it was.

Was the search for Nagisa worth it? I don’t know, but I don’t regret the time I spent. I don’t know how strongly I can recommend it; It has flaws, with some more prominent than others. It also feels like it’s meant for nostalgia, but it doesn’t feel like it’s trying to sell nostalgia. It also refuses to be anything other than what it is: a slice of life. Nagisa carries meaning and intent the whole way through, but it doesn’t step away from being low-key, and partly because of that, it’s charming. The next time I watch it, it’ll be nice to know that I enjoy it for what it is.