Kind of doing a miniature crunch this morning. Trying to compact things into this space so I can get on with the getting on and work on other things later today. Really, I could just choose to not write anything and not try and do as much as possible in as little amount of time as possible, but I don’;t operate that way and am refusing to operate in a healthier manner. Funny how that seems to always pan out.

So it’s a bit of a crunch. I’m crunching; I’m getting on the crunch. Tomorrow I’ll be getting on the bus, reading on the bus, and subsequently reading on the train. However, right now I’m just doing me a bit of a crunch.

You know, doing this isn’t actually that fun. But I’ll get through it. It’s not exciting but it’s what it’s, and that’s what I’ll be going through for now. For now.

For now…

So… yeah. Just hit the wall. Trying to avoid the spiral, but it begs me. It tries to entice me back in. Stay away! Stay away from me, you series of thoughts that lead to more sadness. I need not that right now; I need to write! I need to express myself in the way that I see most fit and most valuable. I need to put text to space and throw it over the precipice and into the grand abyss, never to be seen again… unless the abyss decides to throw it back at me, and there have been times when that has happened.

I’m wondering and I’m feeling things out. Not much time left until homelessness. Cutting it close. Waiting to see what happens, if anything does indeed happen. Maybe nothing will happen. Maybe everything will happen.

Maybe I’m just rambling.

See? Those thoughts are now coming in. They’re finding their way through the cracks of my defending posture, and I don’t know if I can allow this to continue, but there is no choice. It’s too late, and they’re here. What do I do now? How do I cope? Oh, woe is me!

But seriously, I do need money and if you’re able and willing to, I request your financial assistance, especially if you’ve been willing to keep following. Survival should not be dependent on income, but I live in Sydney and Sydney is incredibly expensive.

Well, with that little bit out of the way, I go back to resisting. Looking at these plants in this room, wondering how they’re surviving. One doesn’t look like it’s doing well, but it might just be the way the leaves sit. I don’t know. Will probably never know. Not much time left to know and learn, really. Have other things that I need to take care of, so those other things will be taken care of as they come to me. Not going to them… though I am.

Well, the crunch continues and goes on, and soon it’ll be work time. Before then, crunch.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 06:36:21

Good speed. Bit of a mess, but it was satisfying to write. Just had to force myself a bit.

Written at work.