Oh, what a hot and horrible day it is today, but I feel fine. I feel good. Am in a rather great amount of pain, but I still feel good.

I feel alright.

The last few days have been odd. Weird. Strange. All of those things. They’ve seen a lot of intensity, but today is not an intense day. Well, it is, but it could be worse.

A few days ago I had confirmation that I was getting another work contract. Elsewhere in the university, as is the way with these things. It was a significant relief, and I think about all that time I spent where I was incredibly downbeat and despairing, especially whilst at work, and I feel I could have been better, but everything was just so overwhelming. Everything was just too much. And then that news came in and I was relieved. Of course I still need the contract before I can definitively say that everything is good to go, but it’s happy days ahead.

The contract is, once more, not a permanent one. However, it does carry me for a good while so… yeah.

So that news came and then I had an awful sleep. Had a good sleep since, but still. Need more rest. I’m also in quite a lot of pain right now. I should be rest but I’m not as there are things that I want to take care of. Things that I want to get out of the way and writing is one of them, so that is what I am doing now. And I’m already running out of things to say. Surprising.

I’m in pain and I’m not resting, and I don’t want to let it hold me back so I’m trying to not let it. But I will rest. One day.

So I’m still quite happy. I’m still rejoicing, though I certainly have calmed down a lot. But these are good days. There are good, happy days ahead, and I’m here, relaxing. Trying to not get too excited. Technically it’s not official until the contract is signed, after all. But happy days.

The whole process of hunting for work is a stressful one, and perhaps far too stressful than it should be. So much work goes into hunting and there’s so much time spent on doing it. I think about how you hear about people looking for months and getting no bites, and it seems like it’s a constant arms race to get a foot in the door. People are always hiring and people are always applying and it continues on and on, and for what?

Of course there are plenty of reasons why people get rejected, but so much of societal function relies on hating work, and there’s so much promise of opportunity. Of course success is not guaranteed, but it is what is fed, and maybe we need to spend a lot of time rethinking these things. I got lucky this time around. Plenty of people don’t.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 07:10:50

Slow. Took a bit of time due to the pain, but got there.

A lot of struggling early on and I think that comes through quite a lot.

Written at home.