Lights bright and bright enough to give a good bit of illumination here. Illuminating my surroundings, and that’s all I’ve got for an introduction.

I think I’ve written about the day as my introduction far too may times, but I feel I’ve nowhere else to go. I keep writing and I keep writing to bring everything to its conclusion, and I’ve little left in the tank.

Today will hopefully be a day of writing, and I’m doing it again.

Today will hopefully be a day of writing. I have a thing that I want to do and get out of the way, and maybe that will be today. However, there will be more writing done than what will be seen today as there are a few things I need to prepare for the next few days, too. Make sure I get what I need to get done done and then some. And… yeah.

So here I am, sitting. I’m thinking about what the next few hours will provide. I’m thinking about what I will learn about today. I’m thinking about how things progress and turn and change, and now that there’s less than a month left, how I’m going to get enough written in that time to achieve all the goals I want to achieve. I don’t know how I’ll do it, and to be honest I don’t think I will do it. I don’t think I will get it all done. I’m still going to try, however.

Trying is always worth it unless it is absolutely clear that it is better to walk away, or that your heart definitely, irrefutably lies elsewhere. Or that you’re wandering away anyway, or whatever else would mean that’s it better to not try. But I think it is worth trying, at least most of the time. For me it is worth trying. It is worth attempting. It is worth getting through what needs to be done, and doing it the best one can. I don’t know if I am the best at trying, however, but I still think it is worth it.

I think today is a day of trying, and I think that sitting here, going further into writing about what I usually write about is not worth doing, but it’s a preparation. It’s warming up and I am warming up. There isn’t much time left and I’ve a lot to do, and doing a lot in little is what I do well most of half the time, and only verily so on the day that doesn’t face the day of today. Perhaps… tomorrow. Corner-wise, at least.

And so I’m sitting in this space, biding my time before work starts. I’m waiting and waiting, ad I’m waiting some more. Waiting to take up some time and taking time to take up some time. I’m biding my time, waiting, trying to get through what it is that I’m trying to get through, which is a bunch of words that I apparently lack respect for, and I’m not feeling shit. This is a good thing.

Probably will feel shit later, but right now at least, I don’t. Tomorrow, maybe. In a few hours, probably. Right now, no.

I actually feel alright. I didn’t sleep as well as I could have, but right now I’m doing alright. I’m doing okay. I’m a bit level, a bit balanced, and maybe that has to do with moving away from Friday last week. Gaining some distance and gaining some time, and finding new perspective among everything. Hoping that’s the case, anyway. Might just be finding all the old crap that I find and digging through it again, and then I’ll be hurting myself once more. I’m good at hurting myself. I’m good at digging through old stuff. It all works in terms of perpetuating cycles that aren’t worth holding onto.

Well, not all old stuff, but some of it.

I think I have issues with letting go.

I’m thinking about what lies ahead and how the rest of the morning will go. I’m thinking about what I’ll be learning and what I won’t be learning, and I’m thinking about the hours that come after all of this. The hours where there will be some time where I won’t be doing much of anything as I’ll need to wait and rest before heading off to a gig to do my picture taking for the people I want to be around.

I’m thinking about where to go from here, and how I go to there, and the dots that will connect the path together. What lies ahead. Where lies ahead. How will things change and progress. Will it be another quiet day, or will the day be busy and full-on? I am yet to find out. I hopefully will find out soon. Maybe I won’t until the day is nearly over and that will be that.

I’m writing about boredom again, I think, and this isn’t worth writing. This isn’t something worth digging into, and I think that I need to write about being entertained more often. Sure, it might be just as much a waste of everyone’s time as anything else that I’ve written, but at least it’ll be something new. It won’t be fighting to be as entertaining as staring at a wall with no discernible pattern; a flat, featureless surface that’s one colour that matches the other walls around it, and not that controversial. Plain and dull, and agreeable. Something that won’t disturb the peace or ruffle a few feathers.

That’s what I’m up against and I don’t like that, but I’m sure I will cope… somehow. In some manner. I just need to make the next bit of writing far more entertaining than this bit of writing. Can I do that? I don’t know, but maybe the next one will start with an explosion. And horses. Everyone loves horses. Those who don’t love horses don’t exist.

Alright. The next thing starts with an explosion and horses.

The time it took to write one thousand words: 12:41:30

Decent time, crap writing.

Written at work.