Frog Kite Near Light

Here’s a frog kite I’ve had since I was a kid. I was trying to get a sort of ominous shot, but it didn’t quite work out.

This is my submission into the three hundred-and-sixtieth Lens-Artists Photo Challenge. The theme for this one is “Found at the Fair / Market”. Truthfully, I don’t know where this was found. It was purchased for me when I was a kid and I’m fairly certain it was a market, but I’m not 100% certain. Still, it looks like the kind of thing you’d find at a market, so I feel it fits.

The host of the Lens-Artists challenges cycles weekly between the following people:

Tina

Patti

Ann-Christine aka Leya

John Steiner

Sofia Alves

Anne Sandler

Egídio

Ritva

Beth

This one is curated by Leya. The next one will be hosted by Sofia.

I recommend joining the community and participating in the challenges. They’re pretty straightforward, allow room for interpretation, and provide a good way to think about photography in general. If not, however, then at the very least you should check out what others submit to the challenges.

I hope you enjoy.

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Five-Hundred Word Challenge 1529: Faint Addition

Another fine day, another fine dollar. What does this mean? Nothing right now. Or something. Or actually, what it means is it’s another work day, working to earn money, usually said in a manner that implies the drudgery of the process, but with a bit more of a positive spin this time around. Pointless. But also, not really.

The rain falls outside, lightly, barely visible. Moving toward a faint addition to a barely-perceptible breeze. How like life.

I’m sitting here, and I’m thinking to myself that I could just end the blog now. I could do that. I am still forcing myself, however. I don’t want to be, of course, but I am. I’ve too many things unfinished that I want to share here, and I’ve still ample time to get it all done… I hope. But I need to work harder at it, but I also need to want to write. I desire to write, but I need to want to write.

There’s probably no difference, but I hope that I’m getting across how I feel. I hope it makes sense, what I’m saying here. Because I do want it to make sense, and I want to be more clear in my expression. I want to be able to get some sort of expressiveness across, but I’m still too bound by university science essays to find myself expressive enough, and that sucks. It is a me problem for sure, but it sucks. But that’s the way it is, sometimes. Or not sometimes.

I wonder how many words it takes to truly write something. How many words it takes to produce something written. How many words are left behind as one gets to that point where they finally have a work that they feel is strong enough, good enough, everything enough. I wonder, but I’m not looking to dwell upon the idea. There are other things in this life to worry about, and I think I’ve more important things to worry about at this moment, anyway. But I do wonder, because these things are worth wondering about. But you can’t spend forever wondering. You can’t spend an eternity ruminating upon these things. The process of creation is usually relegated to time where rest is necessary, and so one has to be economical with what they have. And that I also try to do, and I try hard where I can, and sometimes it doesn’t work. Sometimes it all falls apart along the way. But I still try, and I keep trying, and I’ll keep on trying until I can’t try anymore. Once I’m done, I’ll try again and again and again, and once I’ve wrapped everything up here, I can have a long rest before I get back to doing more writing. But gotta force myself through the weeds and around everything, and cut a path. And I’ve got to do that in time I don’t have much of, but maybe one day I will. I hope that’s the case.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 08:22:57

More stuff about the desire to write or do something or something about something.

Written at Dirty Red.

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Five-Hundred Word Challenge 1528: Once More, Thoughts on Writing

One of those days where the things happen and the things don’t happen. Currently I’m listening to people talk and I’m trying to listen and write at the same time. It’s an interesting experience and one I’ve done before, though not for a while and so I want to see what comes forward. I wanted to see what comes out.

Writing can be about so many different things and it has so many processes and approaches and all of those things. How can one sound influence writing in a way that another sound doesn’t?

Doesn’t matter at this point as I’ve exited the conversation. Still is something I think about.

When I think about writing, I think about the act of writing. The process. Going through it all, finding what works and what doesn’t. Ordering words in a way that makes sense. But who does it make sense to?

Writing is as difficult as it is easy, and it can swing around at any time. Sometimes writing can hurt because it depends on what you put down. It depends on what you’re willing to put down, and I don’t know how much people think about this. There are a lot of things to think about when it comes to writing, of course. There is also nothing to think about.

I’m rambling, but I’m also saying this because, as ay form of creating, there are so many ways to go about things. Writing is malleable in a lot of ways, and there remains plenty of room for creativity. I cannot say, with any form of honesty, that the way I approach creation is any more or less legitimate and right than how anyone else approaches it. I can’t do that, and I’m not willing to engage in some form of elitism in that regard. Of course there are techniques for certain styles and all that, but there is not necessarily a universal right way of writing. And writing shouldn’t be behind gates; everyone should be able to engage.

I’m wondering about who we miss in terms of what is considered good. Who could’ve been a major influence if another hadn’t had the eventual spotlight. I’m wondering about a lot of things related to writing today, and that’s good.

I think and rethink what I think about processes and all those things, and I wonder if my style changes or if I’m going further with it. I wonder what my writing says to others, and I wonder if it does reach out to anyone. Based on how people react to my writing, it likely does. It’s something I’m not normally too concerned with, which, considering what I do share, probably goes without saying. Still, sometimes you wonder.

I don’t think I’m a great writer, but I enjoy writing. It’s kind of coming back to me, and I hope it does. I hope I can write again soon, by which I mean I hope I soon don’t have to force myself so much.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 08:01:20

I wrote this yesterday. Churned it out fast and slow and it says a lot about where my thoughts were at that particular time. Kind of getting somewhere again, but it’s not happening, in a sense.

Written at work.

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Five-Hundred Word Challenge 1527: Waiting for a Food Delivery

Waiting for a food delivery for an event. This is, of course, the best time to start writing. You know, when there’s a low amount of time, but I want to see if I can beat the delivery person in terms of time. Maybe this is a race. A race toward nothing and there are no rights. No bragging, no congratulatory; just sore fingers from smacking the keys far too hard, as though typing harder will mean typing faster. But I digress.

I wish I rested more and that is not what I am doing right now. I am sitting here, waiting for a delivery. I am sitting here and I am working and I am waiting for a delivery and I am trying to get this done to kill time between bits of work. I can do it and I keep on doing it, but there is no telling on if I will be able to do it. But I will be able to do it, or I won’t be able to do it and there is only one way to find out.

It’s in situations like these where I think sometimes the best of us cam come forward, as well as the worst. Ergo, it’s probably better to consider that the truth of our abilities might be more able to come forward. To be honest, the pressure is not high in the slightest. It’s there and it urges me along, and I keep on going. I keep on typing, and type away I do and I will get there or I won’t. It is easy to see that there are two outcomes. But if I don’t get there, then the chances are this won’t be seen and I’ll just go on with my life. I’ll forget about this rambling in the same way I forget about all my rambling and then I’ll go from there, or here, or wherever I will go. Such is the way and such is the life of things. The thing of things. The string of strings.

I think I need to think less and do more, but I also need to be more conscious of that which is around me. I think I need to do a lot of things and I need to try and get this done, and I don’t know where the food person is. I don’t know where they are and that concerns me as I know they are indeed close. Maybe they are finding parking. Who is to say? Only they know and I don’t know what they do and do not know, or what they are doing beyond trying to get something over here. That is how it all goes when you trust others to fulfill their end of the deal.

That sounds far worse than it is. I’m looking forward to their arrival and I’m looking forward to this event going ahead. I’m looking forward to a lot of things, and this is one of them

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 04:59:04

Good speed and not entirely nonsensical.

Written at work.

 

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To the Side and Down

Another long day, so here’s another practise self-portrait.
I think I was trying to get something that was a bit moody, but I’m fairly certain I was more interested in how light could affect the feel of a portrait.

I hope you enjoy.

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Five-Hundred Word Challenge 1526: Willfully Blind

I’ve got to head out soon, but I’ve also got to write now. I’ve got to write something. I’ve got to get thoughts down. Something. Anything.

Long week, long spiral. Spiraling for a few weeks and it probably started with the getting sick, and now I’m trying to get back on track. Trying to get ahead. Trying to keep moving forward and hopefully get my health back on track. Got a lot of stuff to try.

Trying to write right now is a struggle, but it’s a struggle worth having. I can feel in my arms, they lack the strength needed to keep on typing. I’m not sure what has happened, but I am persisting. I am pushing forward, because this is what I feel I need to do right now.

The interesting thing about need is that it can drive us in ways we don’t expect or want. It can push us in ways we don’t think we will be pushed. That’s not to say that it is always optimal; just that it is something. It is something we need to be aware of…

Need is something we need to be aware of. Brilliant writing, this.

But it has been a rough few weeks. I’ve been spiraling a bit and giving up too much. I don’t want to be like this. I don’t want to be downbeat. I want my sadness to be a happy sort of sadness. It’s not. It’s not right now and it’s not happening, and that’s life. There are worse things. It could always be worse. It could also be much better.

So what am I saying? What am I conveying? Where does the message lie? I need to head out soon and all I’m really saying is that I’m struggling and that doesn’t say much of anything. Last night I messaged a friend and told them that I was so tired, and in part that is due to lack of sleep. However, a lot of that also has to do with just being burned out, and very much not in a great state.

It all comes in waves and sometimes you just need to wait it out, and… well, I don’t have much of a choice, really. I don’t have a choice but to ride this out. But I’m so tired of it. I’m tired of the down and up and down, and I’m tired of a lot of things. I’m tired of having to be the one to take charge in a lot of situations, and I’m tired of the one who has to do all the cleaning up at the end of things whilst others proclaim how they’re being accountable and advocating for themselves whilst tolerating abuse in their lives to get ahead. I don’t know what to make of everything, and I’m tied of seeing people be shitty to others and be protected for it. I’ve my own things to work on, but too many people are willfully blind to themselves.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 07:23:19

Today is going to be a long day. I think this writing is quite emblematic of that. But we’ll see. Maybe it’ll compress into itself. Who knows.

Written at home.

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Pinched

A photo from a few weeks ago. Didn’t turn out how I thought it did, but I like it anyway. Sort of faded, minimal thing.

I hope you enjoy.

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Ryota Kozuka: The World Desired by All

One listen.

Had to force myself into writing this. It’s short

Ryota Kozuka’s (小塚良太) “The World Desired by All” (“待ち望んでいた世界”) is from Shin Megami Tensei V: Vengeance ORIGINAL SOUNDTRACK, the soundtrack for Shin Megami Tensei V: Vengeance.

I hope you enjoy.

A dulled brightness, humming before a gentle ringing spreads out around voices. The ringing descends, rises up, carries some sort of small grandness with it. More sounds come in, as well as another voice, and the follow the patterns et out.

More sound is added, something like a violin, or violins, and they expand the sound before it comes to a stop at a few keys and the song ends.

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Arms up

Gone from having pain in one shoulder to pain in the other. Fun times. Taking it as a sign to keep resting, so not much other than this photo of arms for you.

I hope you enjoy.

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On the Keys

This was taken last year at a gig. Not my best, but I do like the form.

This is my submission into Leanne Cole‘s “Monochrome Madness” for this week. This one is hosted by Brian of Bushboy’s World, and he has chosen “Any Subject Backlit” as the theme.

This challenge is open to all, and I recommend joining in. If want to, check out more information about it here, and include the tag “monochrome-madness” when you share your photo. If you’d prefer not to join in, then at the least check out Leanne’s photography, and what other people submit.

I hope you enjoy.

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