Stupidity Hole

These New Puritans: Organ Eternal

Posted on March 31, 2025 by Stupidity Hole

One listen.

Just threw myself in, got it done. In, out and the below is the result. Not sure what it’s saying. It describes the song well enough. Feels like there’s much room for more.

These New Puritans’ “Organ Eternal” is from Field of Reeds.

I hope you enjoy.

—

Descending and rising, and touching specific notes, seemingly switching back and forth. Something underneath, low lurks and looms with melancholy. It seems a bit cold and defeated. Seemingly that first noise starts changing, though it’s difficult to tell. Or maybe it isn’t.

Percussion starts following along, and is soon brushed aside, if only for a moment. It comes back in spaces, and something else like a scraping voice comes in, but only for a moment.

It all pulls away and it’s all low, and just percussion and lurking, barely discernible noise. Vocals speak words but form only sounds, and follow the pattern set. Soon a return to initial set of sounds, and that scraping voice returns here and there. Then the vocals come in, and it all stops.

Strings rise and sound almost like brass, and maybe that is there. What is here is gentle, drawn out and strong, but incredibly fragile. Its forming a new world, and gradually the familiar sounds return, and everything starts building up, and expanding. Everything is gaining a kind of richness to its body, and it grows forward, textural before pulling back once more.

That one percussive moment rings out for a brief eternity, then the melody shifts once more. It’s still low, but it combines the familiar and vocals move through and around the melody. They rise and fall in still images, haunting memory, and eventually they and everything else fades away into silence as the song ends.

Posted in Music | Tagged brushed, familiar, looms, memory, movement, organ eternal, still, textural, these new puritans | Leave a comment

Five-Hundred Word Challenge 1472: A Good Chance at Opportunity

Posted on March 31, 2025 by Stupidity Hole

Doing the whiplash thing now. Have a job interview coming up this week. That’s some good news. It’ll be proper comfort money, too, which is a bonus. More interested in what the role offers, to be honest, but having a bit of extra coin is always nice.

It’s a weird moment because now my mood has gone right back up, and I feel so very confused, emotionally. Coming into that is that I’ve applied for a job I’m quite unqualified for, but they must have seen something in my CV that they thought was worthwhile. Got a good chance here and just need to work on it and be prepared. Be ready to go. Be set to show them that I am the best choice.

So I think about this and I think about how things are at home at the moment, and I still don’t feel good about much of anything, but I’m going to keep on going, of course. I’m going to keep on trying and doing my best and all of those things, because, well, what else can I do? I need to survive and I need to get to a better position, and that’s only going to happen with the work put in. Well, that and a good deal of luck, which is what I need right now.

I guess, rather than luck, more that whomever I need to agree that, yes, I’m worth opportunities, agrees. But we’ll see. We’ll see what happens. There’s a lot of work that needs to be done and all that.

So now I’m sitting here and I’m full of beans and I’m coping well and falling apart and all of those other things, and my state of mind swirls in tangents and patterns. It rises and falls with breathing and turns itself over and wherever, and it spreads across all that which is, and I’m just here, trying to live my best and do my best work and all those things. I’m weathering a storm and letting it move around and through me, and I’ve some good news, or rather a good chance at opportunity, and I need to take it. This is not a time to rest and take it easy. Once I know I have another job, then I can rest. Then I can wind down and take it easy… for a couple of weeks.

So… yeah. I don’t like writing in this way. I know I’ve said this before, but I really don’t. I never wanted this space to be a journal of personal issues as they happen, but that’s what has been coming forward and so that is what I’m trying to grapple with. I’m trying to get past it, hard as that may be, but I should be able to with a bit of time. Maybe a bit of hope, too. But we’ll see.

For now, I’m going to keep on charging on and trying to get through all of this. I’m going to try.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 06:25:37

Not a great bit, but I’m happy with this one, or parts of it, rather.
It’s clearly reflective of how I am at the moment, but it’s not wallowing and that’s an improvement, I think.

Written at work.

Posted in Life | Tagged chance, deal, grapple, live, luck, Opportunity, position, worthwhile | Leave a comment

Coming Over

Posted on March 30, 2025 by Stupidity Hole

More wave stuff.

This one I like as, whilst there’s a clear safe distance, it doesn’t feel quite. It feels a bit closer than how I usually take these photos, and perhaps in that way it doesn’t feel as detached.

This is my submission into the three hundred-and-forty-second Lens-Artists Photo Challenge. The theme for this one is “It’s a Wilde Life“.

The host of the Lens-Artists challenges cycles weekly between the following people:

Tina

Patti

Ann-Christine aka Leya

This one is curated by Egídio. The next one is curated by Leya.

I recommend joining the community and participating in the challenges. They’re pretty straightforward, allow room for interpretation, and provide a good way to think about photography in general. If not, however, then at the very least you should check out what others submit to the challenges.

I hope you enjoy.

Posted in Photography | Tagged lens-artists, motion, nature, ocean, platform, water, waterscape, wave | 8 Comments

Moving Energy

Posted on March 29, 2025 by Stupidity Hole

There are better photos out there to get this across, but I feel this does a decent job of capturing energy as it moves through water.

I hope you enjoy.

Posted in Photography | Tagged enrgy, motion, movement, moving, water, wave | Leave a comment

Five-Hundred Word Challenge 1471: A Small Victory

Posted on March 28, 2025 by Stupidity Hole

So I wrote this thing earlier about how I was miserable and all that, and all this random shit was seeping in and I didn’t like it;. Right now I’m going to do another word churning to see where it all goes. Rewarding myself after completing another job application. Get through it all and all that shit that sounds good, you know.

Yeah, I’m still hurting and I’m still struggling to get anything done, but I have to keep trying and going. I have to keep working on stuff and hopefully I’ll get there in the end. Hopefully I’ll get everything that I need to get done done. Hopefully I can get my words together and start working on other stuff and all that stuff… you know. Just keep on going and keep on writing and keep on applying for jobs. Hopefully stay away from the edge. Hopefully get to the top of the mountain. You know.

So I’m now rambling and writing rapidly and I think I can get this written in under five minutes. Am I going to? Not sure, but I am trying. I think I have it in me to get at least this much done. If I can get this much done, then I can get a lot more done. But it’s all steps and it’s all small steps specifically. Will I get there? Don’t know. Just this is incredibly difficult, but I have to keep on trying. I have to keep on trying to get all the words together and spinning them into something that makes sense in the moment, even if it doesn’t make sense overall. I’ll see.

So now I’ve hit all I could want to say… I think… but I need to get a few more words written. I need to get a few more out there and get them all together and in order, and if I can do that, then I can get back to work and keep on working. I can keep on moving, and I desire to move. I desire to keep on moving, even though I cannot outrun my feelings, and that’s the way it is, really. I can;t outrun them and I have to live with them and all the complexities they come with, but I still need to keep on moving. I am not doing well staying still, but I do not have anywhere I can go at the moment. Perhaps in a few days. I am not sure. I will find out, eventually. Maybe. I don’t know. But I will try and I will keep trying to keep on going. I don’t have much of a choice. I need to make sure everything is done and I don’t end up homeless.

Anyway., I’ll have to see, but I’ve almost finished this off and if I can finish this, I can get back to work and keep on working. That is a small victory, but it’s one I feel is pretty important right now.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 04:54:61

I did it.

Written at work.

Posted in Life | Tagged gather, minutes, moment, seeping, sense, small, trying, victory, words, writing | Leave a comment

The Drama in Dancing

Posted on March 27, 2025 by Stupidity Hole

So I really like this photo, or rather what it could be. There are a few issues with it that cannot quite be corrected without me feeling off about it so I want to retake it. However, I still want to share it because I like it so much.

I think that this feels a bit like dancing in a rather dramatic, narrative fashion. There’s something going on here, and it feels all sorts of emotive to me.

This is my submission into Leanne Cole‘s “Monochrome Madness” for this week. The next one is hosted by Elke from Pictures Imperfect Blog, and she has chosen the theme of “Nighttime”.

This challenge is open to all, and I recommend joining in. If want to, check out more information about it here, and include the tag “monochrome-madness” when you share your photo. If you’d prefer not to join in, then at the least check out Leanne’s photography, and what other people submit.

I hope you enjoy.

Posted in Photography | Tagged dancing, digits, drama, fingeres, form, hands, limbs, monochrome, monochrome-madness, position, thumbs | 2 Comments

Five-Hundred Word Challenge 1470: A Reward in a Ramble

Posted on March 26, 2025 by Stupidity Hole

Another job application done, and another one tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow… and it keeps on going forever until I finally find success, as that’s what I need to do. For now, however, I’m gonna churn out a few words whilst I still have some energy. Whilst I don’t feel too dizzy, because I’ve been going in and out of it and it’s been a struggle, but I need to keep on going.

I see a small gap and I hear traffic and right now I’m just trying to unwind, de-stress, decompress and see where all the words lie. See where it all falls onto its side and see how everything comes together. I’m feeling pretty dizzy, but I think I might just be dehydrated. That’s what I’m going with and that’s what I’m hoping, of course. For now, just going to keep on typing., Rewarding myself with a bit of rambling and once that is done, straight back to work. It’s the way it all goes, really.

A tough year; a rough year. A rough time overall. Dire situation, low on money. Gotta keep on going, keep on churning, keep on getting back toward stability. There is low time but I can do it. I’ve survived some pretty horrible shit in my life. I can get through this. I can succeed… maybe. It will take time. Always does, really.

What the hell would Ewe be thinking right now?

He’d probably tell me that I’ve got this and to keep going. He’d know I would anyway. Then we’d talk about other stuff. It’s the way it goes, really.

Life doesn’t stop now and life continues on, and it’s all a bunch of stuff that circles around itself and I can do it. I can do it, and I need to remind myself that I can do it, but I also need to remind myself that in order to do it, I need to keep on going and rethinking and changing things as necessary. I will get there, but only if I keep on going.

The writing wave is yet to end, but I stumbled, and maybe it has left me, but there’s another wave coming and I’m about to ride it. But I need to keep riding it. I need to take advantage of the opportunity that I have, as hard as it is, because it is hard right now. It’s difficult. It’s as though I’m pinned down by a mountain, and I want to give up so badly. I am in pain, both physically and emotionally, but I must keep going. If I give up now, that’s that.

As hard as it is, I am remaining resilient. I am getting back on the horse, and I am rambling in a way I don’t want to, but that’s the way it is. This is what is coming forward and so this is what I’m putting to digital paper. It’s not great, but it’s keeps me going, so I keep writing.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 06:30:37

I wrote this during lunch after finishing a job application. Sort of a reward and I was hoping for something silly. That’s not what came out, however. Can’t force things.

Written at work.

Posted in Life | Tagged churning, dehydrated, dizzy, money, rambling, resilient, rewarding, situation, stability, survived, words | Leave a comment

Five-Hundred Word Challenge 1469: Thinking About What I put out

Posted on March 26, 2025 by Stupidity Hole

So I wrote this thing yesterday and then I shelved it, and now I’m wondering if it’s worth finishing off and publishing. There’s always stuff in the pipeline, and recent changes have added to that, and this is related to those changes, but I don’t know if I should. I don’t know if I should publish it, or finish it. I don’t know if it’s worth continuing on. Sometimes it’s just better to send things to the bin and leave it be.

I’ll probably finish it, though I’ll also reshape it by quite a lot. There’s a lot of work to do and all that sort of stuff. But right now I’m not so sure.

I need to think more about things and I need to think more about where my life is going, so it’ll probably be shelved for a while. Maybe. I don’t know. I know that, at the very least, right now things aren’t great and I need to think more about what I’m putting out there. I need to think more about how I use my words, because it’s easy to think you’re putting out something that is, ultimately, positive. It’s easy to think that you’re writing something that might just be worth the time and effort, but it’s also easy to not be critical enough of your own work.

Writing takes time and sometimes you can just get things out, no problem, no issues. Sometimes that’s how it all goes and you get up the next day and you’ve got it in the bag again, and you keep on going and getting the things out and, hey, it’s all good. It’s all groovy. But sometimes you just can’t, and you need to think if it’s really what you want to be putting out.

In a way, it’s like speech. Though it is easier to do so, in writing it can be difficult to undo what is said. Words have power and meaning and intent in the heat of the moment might do more than one wants, or produce more poor writing… you know. Think before you type, and all that.

So that’s all I have to say. This sounds much more dramatic than it actually is, but I’m thinking about trying to express the power of friendship, and I don’t want to express it in a way that comes off as angry or petulant. I don’t want to express it in a way that makes it seem like I’m pointing fingers at my now-ex and comparing and all that, because things are never that easy and simple.

Well, maybe sometimes they are, but in this instance they aren’t.

I guess what I’m trying to say is I have this piece and I want to make sure that it’s honest, but I also want to make sure that it’s fair, and if I can’t do that, then it’s not going to be worth publishing. But we’ll see. I just need to keep chipping away at it.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 6:59:52

Not a good bit of writing, but it feels necessary at this moment.

Written at work.

Posted in Life | Tagged changes, effort, express, finishing, pipeline, power, think, time, writing | Leave a comment

Five-Hundred Word Challenge 1468: I can Write

Posted on March 25, 2025 by Stupidity Hole

Trying to get back onto the horse. Have some energy right now, so making use of it whilst I can.

I had plans for this year and now it looks like I’ll have to toss them aside. Bring things forward and all that. Do I want to? No. However, there’s an unfortunately very real chance of my being homeless soon, so it might just be time to get everything done. I don’t want to be writing another year of struggling. That’s not how I want to conclude things on this space. But at the same time, maybe it will be helpful. Maybe it will get some stuff out and that’ll be that.

And that’ll be that.

Fuck me, what am I saying? Well, I guess I’m saying what I want to say. This year started off not great, but it picked up and got better, and now it’s sunk. It’s a low point, but I have energy right now and so I need to take advantage of that whilst I can.

I’m not sure what I’m doing or where I’m going, but I know that I can type and I know that if I can type I can write, and I know that I can keep on writing and work toward improvement. If I can do that, I can get more things done, and if I can get more things done… well, you know where this is going.

Some days are, naturally, going to be more difficult than others. As it is with getting dumped, I’ve lost a lot of interest in the things that I usually have interest in, and some of them already were low on the list and now there’s just nothing there. So much energy goes into pain when you want to be doing other things. Such is the way it goes, I suppose.

So I’m sitting here and I’m writing and I’m writing all of this out, and I’m trying to work out where and what, and how I feel about things and how I don’t feel about things. I’m trying to work out where I go from here, or rather how I keep going so I can get into a position where I can work out where to go from there. I don’t know about it all, and I don’t know about a lot of things. It’s all uncertain, and I’m back to a spot that I’d spent so long building up from, but that’s the way it goes sometimes.

But also, I’m too old for this now. I mean, you never are, really, but right now I am, and I was nearly free from struggle, and now I’m back to it, and it just keeps going. But I can write now and I’m doing that, so I can certainly get other things done from here. I can keep putting words together and I can keep moving through life, and I’ve no choice really as it’ll keep moving whether I want it to or not.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 05:53:27

Not great, but seemingly building back up, I think. I don’t know.

Written at work.