This was taken whilst waiting for what I hoped would be a strong sunset. It was, but it wasn’t too colourful which had to do with the amount of cloud cover and where that cover was in the sky.
It was just a pleasant sunset and dusk period, and I was able to get a few photos whilst relaxing and enjoying the surrounds. This one feels relaxing, so… yeah.
I hope you enjoy.
What a fucked year.
Whilst it hadn’t been going well at the time, I didn’t expect my long-term relationship to come to an end, and I didn’t expect being unable to navigate it properly at the time due to the sudden addition of needing to find somewhere else to live whilst looking for a new work contract. I didn’t expect to repeatedly console my ex about the break-up, including a few times on the day she moved out, and I didn’t expect my ex to then go really cold and a bit rude. I also didn’t expect her to ask if I was gaslighting her and claim she was accountable for her actions, then proceed to gaslight me and leave me with the majority of the cleaning work where we lived. Work that needed to be done or the bond that wouldn’t be returned.
I got through that, and in talking to people it has become apparent that I was in an abusive relationship. I could’ve been a much better partner and my ex didn’t do anything intentionally, but she was abusive and I’m glad I’m not with he anymore.
I got through that. I had a few times where I came close to committing suicide, and at the end of it all I came out okay. Slowly got back on track with my life. Started seeing someone else, too, which was unexpected and I’m pretty happy about. Early days, but I’m happy.
I’m also pretty ragged. I got through a bad year in one piece and I’m happy, but I’m drained. I’m tired. Been through better, but also I’ve been through worse.
Since the break-up earlier this year, my interest in creating has slowly crept back. Not yet completely back, but it’s getting there. Had some ideas for things that I want to work on, too. New things.
So I’m sitting here, feeling ragged. Haven’t written in a week and I almost didn’t come back. I didn’t miss this space, but I’m working toward wrapping it up, and that’s nice. What was also nice was losing a few friendships. Once the sadness passed, I found myself much less stressed without them in my life.
But yeah; this year has been one of slowly getting back to where I was before everything went out the window. Still going and nearly there, but need to put in a good deal of work from here, and I can do it and I want to do it, so I’m doing it. I’m going to get back into photography as much as I can. Going to work on the essays I’m working on, too. Just going to keep going. Work on music, do more drawing, write more of space and the sky and the ocean, and what paths lead where. I’ve a lot to cover and I’ve only so much life to live.
I’m sitting here, writing, missing the road. I’m going to sleep after this. Need it quite badly. Need rest. I want to be moving, and more on that tomorrow. Tomorrow, the new year, in where I’ll say the same old things but I’ll say them in the same old ways. I’ll get there eventually, and it’ll be tomorrow when I do. Tomorrow is a new day and it’s when I’ll be getting into high gear as I head on down to the end of this space.
It feels a bit odd to say what I’m about to say, as it’ll be the last time I say it. A bit sad, too, but I’m also excited. Ragged, but excited. Excited for tomorrow. Excited for the next few months. Empty, burned out, ragged, and sad. But also happy and excited.
2026? Bring it on.
On the way home from Bathurst I stopped in a few places to take photos. For this one, I wanted to capture the length of the road I was on. See what would come through.
I think this works well enough, though I can see how I could’ve done better. Still, the sense of emptiness comes through. Sure, there’s property in the scene, but the road seems long, even this this particular part isn’t, and it feels quiet, too. So does the space. Quiet and empty, and desolate and searching.
I hope you enjoy.
Getting back into the swing of things, and here’s another photo.
Much like this photo, here’s a photo of the sunset as seen at sand dunes. However, taken this year and with a more vivid sky, I think. Also not taken today, but instead 11 days ago.
It works for closing off the year, but there’s another photo to come.
I hope you enjoy.
I recently found myself in Centennial Park. Hadn’t been since earlier on in the year and it was nice to be back. Took a bunch of photos, including this one.
To me, this photo has a strong emotive quality. It speaks of desire to be in motion; to be moving. These corellas fly with purpose and drive, but that purpose and drive is different to what I derive from them in this photo.
This is my submission into Leanne Cole‘s “Monochrome Madness” for last week. The next one is hosted by Margaret of From Pyrenees to Pennines, and she has chosen the theme of “The 12 days of Christmas”.
This photo works for “Four birds calling“, hence my using it for this.
This challenge is open to all, and I recommend joining in. If want to, check out more information about it here, and include the tag “monochrome-madness” when you share your photo. If you’d prefer not to join in, then at the least check out Leanne’s photography, and what other people submit.
I hope you enjoy.
It has been a long few days and I’ve gotten in a lot. I’ll be writing about it in more detail when I’ve the time. Right now I’m just writing.
I don’t want to be writing so personally at the moment, but I feel it is important to write about the joy of being where I was, and how it was relaxing.
I had a lot of joy and it was relaxing.
Well, that summarises it quite nicely, really. What else is there to say?
So there was driving and a lot of it. Then I went home. There were things seen. Got home yesterday, back on the road today and this time to Bathurst via a wrong turn that led to a fun interaction, and a detour that led to a great experience. And I’m here, sitting at a table, killing time taking it easy. Trying to rest and not resting as well as I should. The wonderful things, as they say. Who are they? I don’t know. I know my writing is going to shit at the moment and you won’t see that, which I think is good for me. But I do know that I’m enjoying myself. I’m enjoying being with my friends and I’m enjoying being here, away from Sydney.
When I got back to Sydney yesterday, the Sydney stress crept back in. Not fun, frazzled quickly. Just unpleasant. Sydney often is more stressful than people give it credit for. Sure, the city itself is just a place. But It’s the way it hits. It’s just oppressive. The people of Sydney are just as much Sydney as the buildings and roads and footpaths and stores and bridges and all of those things. A construction is just a construction; a symbol. People can add to its meaning, represent it, create character and feeling, atmosphere… you know what I mean. I hope I know what I mean.
And now I’m away and I’m relaxing again, and it’s good. I had a good time up until reaching Sydney yesterday and I’m having a good time again. It’s nice to be able to relax a bit and it’s nice to take it easy. I feel like, for the first time in a while, I’m having a break. It had a brief pause in there, but it’s still a break and I’m taking it easy and this is a good thing. This is nice. And it’s only a few more days, but I can make the most of this.
I’ve some time to myself right now and soon it’ll be things back on, and I’ll go from there. I’ll do what I need to do and I’ll keep relaxing. Easy. It’s all time and I’ll hang with my friends, and then I’ll go to sleep. Tomorrow will be another day, and sure, Bathurst has its own problems. It has a lot of problems. However, it does not press down forcefully the way that Sydney does. Right now, the space is needed.
The time it took to write five-hundred words: 07:31:18
Another piece of writing that could be much better, but I’m fine with the result.
Written in Bathurst.
I saw these at USYD, decided to get a photo. Nothing else to it. Fan of the space and the minimalism in this, probably because that’s part of what I look for, sometimes. I think it works.
This is my submission into Leanne Cole‘s “Monochrome Madness” for this week. Or last week, but I’m late. The next one is hosted by Margaret of From Pyrenees to Pennines, and she has chosen the theme of “The 12 days of Christmas”.
This challenge is open to all, and I recommend joining in. If want to, check out more information about it here, and include the tag “monochrome-madness” when you share your photo. If you’d prefer not to join in, then at the least check out Leanne’s photography, and what other people submit.
I hope you enjoy.
I’m worn out, and it’s a good worn out. I have things that I want to cover. I have things I want to talk about. Right now is not the time, but I do want to talk about them. Just writing to say that there are things.
Okay. That’s it. Go home.
I’m in Hawks Nest at the moment, sitting here, waiting for the shower to be free. I’m going to shower after this. This is not important information in any way, shape or form, but I feel like my life is finally, FINALLY getting back on track. I’m in a good position. What a fucked year. This is good. This is desirable, as far as I’m concerned.
I’ve spent a lot of the day on sand, walking around, taking photos. exploring, seeing where things are and how they appear. I’m sitting here in a room, waiting for the shower to be free. I’m ready to go to sleep and I feel ready to go to sleep. I feel like this year isn’t one to write off entirely.
I feel good. I feel lucky. I feel happy, and satisfied. And this is good.
Saw a bunch of birds today and I’ll see a bunch more tomorrow. I’ll breathe in the air outside and I’ll feel relaxed doing so.
I’m so tired.
There’s a certain joy that comes with getting away from Sydney and being in an area with few people. There’s a certain joy in being away from the crowds and experiencing places that one doesn’t normally see. It’s all sorts of pleasant and pleasing and satisfying, and it’s relaxing, too. It’s relaxing to be in a position where one can stretch their legs out and actually relax. It’s relaxing to be in a position where one feels tired at a time when they should feel tired. I am looking forward to getting sleep tonight. I am looking forward to sleeping heavily and waking up in the morning feeling less tired than I did this morning, because it has been a long time since I slept well, and I can feel that I am getting there, and it’s great.
I’m glad I have the time to do these things. I’m glad I have the energy and the drive to do them, too. I’ll get into the specifics when I return to Sydney; this is mostly being written because I need to write, but I don’t know what to write, hence this being written. Also the being tired.
Places away from the city, they change so much in appearance. It’s expected, but it’s nice to see it happen. It can still feel fresh in a way. The colour doesn’t change but the space does, and so does the vegetation you see, and I think that’s part of why I enjoy getting away from the city, even if it is to a small town in an area that gets tourism, but not too much. And it’s just nice being able to relax.
The time it took to write five-hundred words: 07:22:31
Not good writing at all. Don’t care right now.
Written at Hawks Nest.
I thought I’d have more time to write today but I don’t, and that’s okay. I’m sitting down and I’m taking it easy right now. Just relaxing.
I took this photo a few weeks ago, finding myself interested in the shape of this part of a building. I walk past it a lot, but at this particular moment something about it appealed to me.
I hope you enjoy.
As seen at Railway square in Sydney.
I hope you enjoy.
Stupidity Hole 