One Thousand Word Challenge 23: Chicken Beak Peck P.S.I. is Comparable to the P.S.I. of Great White Sharks

So previously I have talked abbot how chickens will be the dominant species in the future, which is something that is completely true and based on millions of hours of pure, unadulterated research that cannot be disputed, despite this all being a theory with insurmountable proof.

Well today I will be discussing something else about chickens that is again completely true despite also being a theory, as the evidence is undeniable to all those who check it out and there is more and more evidence that is discovered every day, therefore leading to the theory becoming stronger and stronger with each passing moment in time through the eons of space and dimensions.

Chickens. They are birds. Birds are sometimes chickens, but not all birds are chickens, but all chickens are birds.

Some of them make noises and some of them do not.

The thing with chickens is that they are far more deadly than we think, but the thing is that they do not act out using their power as it is too dangerous to both them and the thing that they would attack.

As we have all witnessed, plenty of chickens will peck at the ground picking up things that we are assuming they are eating due to some of their food being found on the ground.

Well, the P.S.I. of a chicken beak peck is comparable to that of great white shark bites.

A few years ago, the P.S.I. of a great white shark was simulated and it was rather high. It hasn’t been out-and-out shown, but it may have some credence despite being just a simulation.

Well it’s not just a simulation and in fact a complete truth due to the fact that chickens have a pecking P.S.I. comparable to great white shark bites.

Alright, so chickens peck at the ground quite often but as we can all see, they do not displace a lot of of the ground when they peck.

Some chickens will use a peck to defend themselves, although this is most likely an uncommon thing to witness.

You see, they can actually put much more force behind their beak, but they choose not to and there is a very important reason for that fact: Unless it is done from a certain, precise angle, not only will they cause serious damage to that which they are pecking, but they will also completely shatter their beaks and it takers a really long time to grow back a beak which can lead to all sorts of problems with feeding and health, especially if there is a war going on.

The thing is that with the ground it is a little easier, but not by much as despite the fact that the ground is usually stationary, you can’t always account for a gentle breeze slightly displacing some of the earth underneath you or that which is around you, just like you can’t account for a moving target all the time.

If everything was stationary all the time, chickens would have no issue with this. Their beaks would stay in one piece and the only damage that would be suffered would be from the target and not them.

Besides which, even if they didn’t have to worry about a sudden gentle breeze, they understand the almighty power that they wield and choose to use it only when absolutely required. Sometimes the risk must he the beak in order to protect the poultry society.

It must be noted that whilst some chickens would become arboreal chickens, they would not use their powerful beak peck P.S.I. against trees. In fact, no chicken would because they’ve got better things to do with their time, such as deliberating and many other chicken-related things.

There is no training involved in order to make sure that they keep their beak peck P.S.I. as it is a natural thing that is inherent to them and that is because chickens are descended from Tyrannosaurus rex.

As we all know, Tyrannosaurus rex had a very powerful bite and despite over time their shrinking down and jaw fusing to become a beak as they slowly evolved into chickens in order to escape extinction and adopt a lower profile so that they would not be mercilessly hunted down until there was no hope for the survival of their species, they managed to keep the powerful P.S.I. of their bite and convert it into the powerful beak peck P.S.I. of the chicken, although bit is a little less powerful due to the the beak being a bit smaller.

However, as the great white shark is related to the megalodon and it has a comparable P.S.I. to the beak peck P.S.I. of the chicken, in actuality the chicken beak P.S.I. is also similar to that of megalodon because the great white shark is related to megalodon.

Some people might argue that due to batter farm chickens being trapped and getting far too obese to properly move around, they may not be able to use their powerful peck properly. However, this is an incorrect train of thought, for although they may be bulkier than their free-moving brethren, once they are freed they can use their weight to help gain enough momentum and acceleration through space and time in order to apply the full force of their peck and in some cases apply more power due top the bulk of their body helping them accelerate faster.

So if a battery farm chicken gets onto a slight downward incline and keeps going downward, its rolling will allow it to accelerate to speeds unknown and by the time it reaches its intended target by launching at the right moment, so long as it hits said target at the right angle, the beak peck P.S.I. will be multiplied by the force of the weight of the chicken soars through the air.

So, as you can now understand, there is completely irrefutable evidence that chickens have a beak peck P.S.I. comparable to that of great white sharks.

The time it took to write one thousand words: 19:33:50

I had been meaning to write this for a number of weeks now and, well, I wrote about other things.

Written at work.

About Stupidity Hole

I'm some guy that does stuff. Hoping to one day fill the internet with enough insane ramblings to impress a cannibal rat ship. I do more than I probably should. I have a page called MS Paint Masterpieces that you may be interested in checking out. I also co-run Culture Eater, an online zine for covering the arts among other things. We're on Patreon!
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2 Responses to One Thousand Word Challenge 23: Chicken Beak Peck P.S.I. is Comparable to the P.S.I. of Great White Sharks

  1. Pingback: One Thousand Word Challenge 26: Chicken Bawkade | Stupidity Hole

  2. Mike Ross says:

    When do chickens jump the shark (metaphorically)?


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