Five-Hundred Word Challenge 791: Heavy Eyelids

Big stretch. Big stretch. Today is going to be complaining about the cold, so i need to do a big stretch so that I am ready. Has nothing to do with a sudden desire compelling me to stretch. Anyway, on to the complaining.

So I can feel that my eyelids are dragging me down and I need to lighten the load but no amount of blinking seems to be doing the job, which I guess is a problem. Maybe. Anyway, seeing as that is not working, I think that I need to go outside, but it’s cold and I don’t want to go outside as I don’t feel much like being cold, but it’s also cold inside so either way I’m going to be cold unless I rug up, but I don’t have any rugs so I guess what I’ll do is get an umbrella and use it to shield me from the rays of cold that will forever be beaming down from some mysterious place up on high. However, I do not have an umbrella that is big enough to cover my entirety, so I guess my feet are still going to get cold to some extent.

This is a bit of a problem, so maybe to solve the dilemma what I’ll do is go underground. I’ll somehow create an underground section to my place of residence, then go into said underground place of my residence and then start tunneling for a while. Might need to use my hands as I don’t have tunneling apparatus, but I’m sure that with enough work I’ll get somewhere that will lead me to a place where I can avoid the cold and so then I can continue on the journey of making my eyelids a little bit lighter so that they don’t feel so heavy and therefore I can go back to doing what I was ding before. Might be a long journey, but hey, sometimes the journey is long and sometimes it is short. What matters most is that it is a journey of some form of length that can be measured out, but only in retrospect and of course relative to the other journeys upon which I, or you, have undertaken. Small stuff, but important stuff.

So anyway, I think that now I’ve got all of this planned out, I really need to get to the doing of the things so I can get the things out of the way. Needs to be preparation work. Can’t just summon the underground. You need to have all of the things ready that will help get it into a position of existence. Then you can go from there and do other things. In this case it will be the tunneling using my hands and my hands only. Don’t know where I’ll end up, but hopefully I don’t hit water. Well, a large body of water, that is. Don’t want to undo my work, but more importantly, don’t want to get wet whilst tunneling.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 05:20:62

I think that I had the idea of starting off complaining about it being cold today, then veering off into something else entirely. I think. Clearly what happened is my futile attempt at complaining about the cold became the impetus for my talking about writing about tunneling to avoid the inconvenience of the cold so I could go somewhere where I could make my eyelids a little less heavy.



Written at home.

About Stupidity Hole

I'm some guy that does stuff. Hoping to one day fill the internet with enough insane ramblings to impress a cannibal rat ship. I do more than I probably should. I have a page called MS Paint Masterpieces that you may be interested in checking out. I also co-run Culture Eater, an online zine for covering the arts among other things. We're on Patreon!
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