Walking out into the empty street. It is dark, it is night. The rain recently flecked the street with its being. No longer raining, but the lights stretch, somehow become brighter in contrast. The rain helps, reflects the light a little more. It’s cast hard against the darkened backdrop. Gotta go walk, gotta have my head low.
Walking along the street, few people around. Lonesome jazz plays in the background somewhere off in the distance of my mind. It’s the soundtrack to my walking, to my despondency, all that kind of stuff. Hard walk, lonesome walk. Gotta think about things, gotta think things through.
Got to work out what I’m doing with my life, work out if there really are any hard truths. Feeling despondent, depressed, down, hurt, all those kinds of things. Still gotta walk. The setting is suited for it, seems like this is out of some bad fiction. Still, gotta keep on walking. Feel the grieving. Feel the pain. Sure it will pass once this walk is over. Maybe.
Might not work out some things. Don’t know who hurt who, why I hurt, though I know the cause that started it. Still, don’t like how scenic and fictional this all feels. It’s as though someone is writing my story and the hands of fiction are hidden away somewhere. Don’t like not being able to see what it is that is guiding me, all that other crap. Still, gotta keep walking, gotta try and work it all out.
Some cars drive on by, off into the dark, or maybe it’s the light. Not sure which. They drive off to something that makes it far more difficult for me to be able to perceive their existence. No puddles on the road, makes it easier for me to walk and feel confused about the whole thing. Just keep on walking. The silence is palpable. The soundtrack is in my head, but the silence remains thick and strong. It is almost overwhelming. Of course there is no real silence, but that is how it feels right now. Like all sound drifted away and all that I’m hearing outside of my own thoughts is just an imitation of the idea of what sound is meant to be like.
Keep on walking, keeping a low view of what is ahead of me. Noticing the ground in front of my feet a little more. Seems to have a lot of detail in it; details that I normally would not recognise, such as the cracks that seem unable to be covered over. Perhaps they can be covered over, but without a proper fix they will remain there, underneath the surface. Maybe they’ll spread and create more damage than already has been caused; maybe they’ll stay as they are.
Gotta keep on walking, through this street scene. Keep walking away and through the night, through a place that recently accepted rain, making lights stronger and more pervasive among the darkened backdrop of the lonesome urban night.
The time it took to write five-hundred words: 06:22:67
I think I started off well and ended up dropping the ball early on. As such I consider this writing to be something that needs work on. Need to develop a bit more.
Written at home.