Whenever I start bits of writing of this length I find myself struggling a little. I wonder as to what it is that I should write about, if even I should think about writing about anything at all. It’s a bit of a blank canvass and I’m always here to make a mess but I can’t help but wonder as to whether I should be thinking more about what I should be writing.

What I mean when I say this is that I wonder if I should try and be a bit more topical and slowly work my way into writing things with a bit more meaning and substance. I don’t really know if I should and I don’t necessarily think that it will lead to an improvement in the writing, but perhaps there is some merit in thinking about what it is that PI should be writing about, if indeed I should be writing about anything at all.

These challenges started with the aim of improving on the stream-of-consciousness writing and I think that, at this stage, to some extent they work. However, it would be apparent that I’m currently in a bit of a lock in terms of what it is that I am and am not writing and as such maybe it is time that I start thinking outside of what it is that I am indeed writing and start working on picking subjects and going from there.

On one hand this would allow for perhaps some more focus and some more meaning and well-developed stuff in what it is that I write, assuming that I stop doing these challenges that I’ve set up for myself. On the other, I prefer the “free-form” writing that I often spend time doing. It doesn’t necessarily lead anywhere, but it does help tap into something that is within me that I can then channel out and perhaps purge form myself… I think.

It is something that I need to spend a bit more time thinking about, I think. Perhaps not today it will begin and perhaps it will never even commence, but there is always the possibility so long as I keep on thinking about it and work out how it is that I develop what it is that I’m thinking about into something tangible.

Would I continue doing the challenges but have a subject focus for each and every one? Do I occasionally upload lengthy essays on the various things that it is that I want to cover and keep doing the challenges? Should I get rid of the challenges entirely and just focus on something more focused?

I’ve a lot of questions, though of course only a few are known at the moment. As time goes on I’m sure that I’ll work out more of which would help to formulate an answer that I may be satisfied with, but it is a long road ahead before that point is reached.

Now this feels like a good point to wrap things up for today but I have more to say about the thing… I think. I’m not exactly sure.

Now that I think about it, I don’t actually think I have more to say and perhaps now I am stretching out a little more than is necessary, but perhaps in these bits of sentences that remain something will come forward. Whatever that is is yet to be seen. It also is yet to be seen if anything at all will come forward as there is every chance that nothing will and all I am doing at this point is trying to scrape together something and hope that it does provide something worth reading.

Still, perhaps ion the thinking about this and going further than necessary it is the act of writing itself that reveals the subject of choice of which I’ll be the next bit of writing. However, in saying that I think what will actually happen is not much at all and I’ll just find myself continuing on with the rambling and hope that it all comes together somehow.

Maybe I won’t even do that. Maybe what will happen is I’ll just make it all up as I go along and therefore there will be a bit of writing that may have started with some promise, then that promising writing sabotaging itself through the act of my writing it in a way that leads to the sabotage of the self and therefore I am right where I originally was and there’s little else to say about the whole thing, so I’m probably just going to try and get back on topic.

I’m probably going to spend a lot of time thinking and in that time thinking I’ll be thinking about what it is that I want to do from here on out. I don’t know if what I’m doing needs to change or if doesn’t, but I believe that there still will be more writing to come. There always will be more writing to come though, so that isn’t saying much about anything so therefore I’ll just get back to what it is that I’m trying to say.

What I’m trying to say is that right now I’m unsure as to what it is that I want to be doing writing-wise. I do know that, at the least, I want to keep on writing reviews. Those have been rather slow in terms of being written over the last few months but I’m feeling the itch building up and so I need to scratch that one. However, outside of writing reviews I’m just not sure.

I have ideas and I need to think about them and see how I can make them work, or if they’re even worth trying to make work. There will be a lot of thinking and I’m going to sink the time into that thinking, but perhaps it will be slow thinking. It might end up being a gradual change rather than something relatively sudden.

The time it took to write one thousand words: 13:15:49

I reached somewhere around the halfway mark and thought that it was a good point to stop, but I decided to keep on going. I set out to hit the thousand mark today and perhaps this writing suffered for it.

Written at home.