Once more the race is on. It is between the sensible and the ridiculous and I am just spectating, or so I would like for myself to believe.

Still, it is a race and it is a race against responsibility and once more that’ll mean that this bit of writing gets mangled. I also need to find a way to beat the spasm in my thumb as it is annoying, but that will have to come later as shenanigans at their worst need to come first.

There are a lot of things that need to come first, actually, and so perhaps there is an order of what needs to be the most first needs to be organised.

Wait.

An order from what needs to be the most first to the least first is what needs to be organised. However, that would involve admitting a complete and utter failure to be responsible about anything and so that is not something that, at the present moment, I wish to engage in and handle. Perhaps I can get someone else to handle such a thing, but that would require effort and effort is not something that I want to make use of at the moment. There are other things out there that I’d prefer to make use of at the moment, such as my ability to shirk work for as long as possible before I inevitably have to face  up to my failings and start tackling the pile, lest it grow far too unwieldy and therefore prevents me from getting anything done.

Now that I think about it, that too requires an effort that I am not willing to expend and so therefore perhaps the day should be spent lying very still in one position, drifting in and out of sleep and hoping that somehow everything resolves itself. That would be a dream of sorts and it could be the wrong dream to pursue, but still, it is a dream of which I would very much like.

I would lie down and start drifting off, but then I would probably get restless, now that I think about it. I would start thinking about how I need to do things and those things would need doing and so I would likely get up after about an hour, or even less. IJ would get up and start doing things, but I would not do them well and so I would have a bit of a mess on my hands, but it would be a mess of my own creation.

Then again, perhaps there would be no mess whatsoever. Perhaps that, even in my state of not doing these things well I would somehow manage to get them done well enough and then if they are done well enough I can then claim the art of success being at hand, though even if there was a mess, there still would be some sort of success; it just would be to a lesser extent, or a different form, but even so, perhaps that is good enough for this particular time and this particular day.

I don’t have much time left before I need to switch gears and so this part is the part where I cram as much as I can into a confined space and then hope for the best whilst expecting the worst. This isn’t the best way to write, but still, it is a form of writing and it gets the clutter out of the way. Getting clutter out of the way is good, but you also need to sort through it on the odd occasion and make sure that everything is eventually put away in a neat fashion. Perhaps even a tidy fashion.

The point is that sometimes you need to make sure that you clean up your mess, even if you don’t want to as you don’t want to leave a mess lying about. Someone might trip over it, or find their path blocked by all the mess and waste and other things and all those other, other things. You don’t want to be obstructing people from getting on with their day (unless it is necessary, of course) and so sometimes you need to return to things and clean up in a way that is better than leaving the mess strewn about, creating  a situation where people have to tread carefully unless they don’t want to show respect for the glorious mess that was created and instead just trudge and stomp over the whole thing, which, if an art installation based on the concept variety, might just improve the whole thing due to adding some sort of commentary about how people don’t care, or do care, or something.

There are so many ways to read these things and sometimes, due to that, the artist’s intent no longer matters. Maybe. However, it is important to consider the intent of the artist as it can help better contextualise things and all those other things that I want to say that make me sound fancy, but I won’t as there are other, far more important things to worry about at the moment and so I will worry about those.

So anyway, today is a day where I want to avoid doing things and so avoiding doing things is what I will do my best to do, but to be honest, I don’t actually know if I can get away with it and so soon I will face the act of responsibility. The ridiculous might not win this race after all, and so that is something else that needs to be considered as carefully as possible.

Of course there are other things to consider but right now is the time to be thinking about that. Right now is the time for me to keep on ploughing ahead and forging my own path toward whatever it is that I am ploughing toward.

I don’t know yet, but I’m sure a work memo will help with my knowing.

The time it took to write one thousand words: 10:25:30

This one has a bit of repetition, but it also feels more focused to me.

Written at home.