I zoned out. I zoned out and feel as though I slipped into a completely different universe for a good few minutes, or maybe a good few hours. It is difficult to tell as time became another irrelevancy that I had to add to a list of irrelevancies.
I was doing my thing but I’m not sure what that was at that particular juncture in time, but I do know that I was doing it. I was doing the thing and just became absorbed by something. I think it was a complete nothingness. Maybe a complete blanking out that was not as complete as it actually seemed. I don’t know; it is difficult to tell. However, I know that I began to fall and as I was falling I was not aware that I was falling. I wasn’t even aware that I was.
I fell for a long time and in that falling there was nothing to tell and nothing to see for I was elsewhere. Sure, I was physically present, but my mind was so far removed and so blank at that particular time that no one would’ve been able to reach me. It was just the way I was at that particular point in time and there probably was something that I could have done about it but I doubt I had the awareness that would’ve allowed for me to do anything.
Eventually I stopped falling and suddenly there was detail. There was more detail than I could ever care about. This coincided with me suddenly returning to being present so I was thrown off a bit. I did not recognise what it was that was around me and having it there all around me with no forewarning was a bit of a surprise, to say the least.
Once I recovered from the being unable to recognise that which I saw I decided that it was time to try and work out where I was, though moving about was difficult at first. I think it had a lot to do with the amount of detail that I could see. It threw things off a bit and so I was sluggish and careful in my movements until I worked out where I could go and where I could not go, which you’d think would have been an obvious thing but with that much detail it was not.
I walked for what I felt was a long time, but it was difficult to tell. Time did not seem to pass and I did not seem to tire which was probably a good thing as it was at least a lengthy distance that I walked before I decided to take a quick break. Realising that I needed no break I then kept on walking. There was a lot to see around me but at the same time there was nothing to see. It was all fantastic but it was all familiar for I had seen it all before, though in a different form; I wasn’t sure as the familiarity was something that lingered at the corners and not something that made itself open and plain to see.
I did not sweat and I needed no water. I felt no hunger and I felt no slowing down, though I also felt no need to speed up either. I saw objects colossal in size as well as ones smaller than they seemed to be. Some things changed form as I approached them and walked on by, but they only changed as I moved. They never seemed to repeat a form and some changed shape much slower than others.
Often I would look toward the horizon but there was none and all could be seen, even at a far distance. There seemed to be no end and it all just continued on no matter in which direction I would look.
I walked and I thought about things. I thought about how there was no night and no day cycling and so it seemed that this location was stuck on afternoon lighting and I thought about how I was as liquid as I was solid. I thought about how my thoughts had some sort of physical manifestation that didn’t exist and I thought about what was going on and how it seemed to constantly matter due to the mystery and sense of adventure of it all… or at least a sense of adventure I was trying to impose upon my feeling of the situation as it made it a little easier to swallow.
I could have walked for years; I do not know, but I do not know, but I do know that I didn’t encounter any other person or organism that was recognisable as something I recognised, so I knew not if I encountered anything I could converse with. This was a place that was a filled with so much and yet so utterly empty and quiet.
Eventually I decided to stop walking and sit. I was getting nowhere and I had to think of a way to get out of the situation I was in, if there was indeed any way out of it at all. For all I knew I was stuck here and that was all there was to it. I had to make the most of the situation but I had no idea how to do such a thing.
I thought about this for a while and I thought about how perhaps I am no longer existing but living, but the issue is that perhaps I was living in the wrong way and perhaps I needed to both live and exist at the same time and so until I resolved that issue I was stuck here in a place where only I could live and really it was just some sort of odd conflict that needed resolution. I thought about many things until I eventually started zoning out, no longer being present until I was suddenly back at my desk.
The time it took to write one thousand words: 15:55:74
I think the combination of fatigue and the music I’ve been listening to this afternoon helped create this. That’s my excuse.
Written at home.