In a sense I feel like I am drifting right now.

I have an idea for a short story and I want to be more productive, but the past two weeks have been such a nothing time. Not much happening when I’ve had plenty of time to get things done. Been whiling away the hours, thinking to myself about starting on things and then throwing it all away.

the air is still outside, or at least it is mostly still. There is some movement in the trees so movement in the air is implied, and it’s much more than what I’ve been doing. At this point I could write about how I’m going to do more but I think I’ve covered that more than enough at this point. I don’t need to keep on writing that.

What I will write is that I just watched a good portion of a large wave roll along underneath me and, instead of catching it I let it get away. It is possible that there is still more of that wave and I just think I’ve missed it, but I don’t quite think that’s the case. However, who is to say at this stage?

So it was a long two weeks and it likely will be a long rest of the year. Every day has been felt and it has dragged out and it keeps on going, and it doesn’t stop but all of time is slipping away whilst I sit in some form of stasis as I age forward in time. Sometimes it is good to do nothing, but only sometimes, I think. I think it’s important to do things and it’s important for me to recognise that I have not done enough over the past few weeks.

Maybe I’m now in some sort of decline and I will gradually do less. I will keep doing less until there is nothing left for me to not do, and then maybe from there I will pick up. It is possible that from that point there will be a gradual increase, but I need things happening now. If they are happening later then it is too late and I have lost far too much time to something I did not want to lose time to, and that would suck more than I would like for it to suck.

Today is a hot day, or at least it seems like it is a hot day, and I’m wondering as to how much longer I’ll be drifting along. Of course the only way to really stop is to force myself to do the things that I need and want to do, but perhaps I won’t. Perhaps I will move with the flow and when it gets to where I need it to get will be when I get on with the getting on. Still, today is nice and it’s nice to relax, even though I can’t as I need to work.

But today’s drifting is quite nice.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 06:49:24

When I was writing this I felt like I was going really slow. Apparently I wasn’t.
Some parts of this are okay. It feels a bit fragmented. There is a running thread but it doesn’t feel cohesive to me.

Written at home.