What a few weeks. What a day yesterday. What an everything.

Right now I’ve had almost enough sleep. Not quite enough. Still dragging a bit. Still tired. I imagine I’d still be tired had I enough sleep as it takes a few good days and all that, but I’m still tired and I still need sleep. Such is life.

I don’t want to say that I’m about to have some sort of breakthrough, but I feel like I’m going somewhere at the moment. Maybe I’m not, but it feels like it and that’s something I’m going to try and capitalise upon where I can.

When I think of writing and how I write and all those things I have to wonder how much I am able to further improve. There probably is always room to keep going and learning and all that other stuff and I don’t have to wonder, but it would be more accurate to say that I feel I owe it to myself to wonder. Sometimes I feel really stuck and there is no getting out, and then I try to push out and I feel as though I end up reinforcing my being stuck. I keep sinking back to the same patterns and routines in how I write and I feel I should be able to do better. I feel I should be able to keep growing, but it doesn’t quite happen.

Maybe it does and I’m not noticing. I don’t know right now. However, I do know that with the last review I shared, it is a noticeable change for me and it was something that I kind of forced, or rather something that I decided to do to see if I could do it and also because I really needed that change to happen. My review writing is too stiff and academic in a sense, but it lacks the strength to back that up. It doesn’t say enough.

Anyway, today is a day and today is a day of writing. I’m getting stuff done. Maybe I’m finally opening the door and stepping through after spending too much time overthinking the handle. It’s a good feeling but I don’t want to spend too much, if any time dwelling on it. There are things to do and I need to do them, though that’s not unusual or different to anything really.

So, I guess, with this bit of writing out of the way I have to get back to pretending to be productive. This is a stacked month and I’ve a lot to get through and get published, but I feel I can do what I’ve set out to do and if I can do that, then perhaps next month might be the same. If so, then I’m doing alright and I’m doing okay. I love writing and I love the process, and I need to work out how to keep growing and improving, and maybe I’ve found the way, so I’ll see where it leads.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 07:36:25

This is a little more introspective than I hoped. Still, maybe it’s okay. There’s a fair bit of wasted space, but maybe that’s fine this time around.

Written at home.