Imagine something. Imagine that something and imagine it taking you to somewhere else, and how does that all go anyway? Where does it go? How does it lead you to wherever else you feel you’d need to progress to in order to progress to the days and the stars, and everything else that you felt reasonable and unreasonable on a burning paradise that is the last remainder of your success, but really it’s a melting testament to all that you destroyed in order to obtain a brief moment that you, ultimately could not share.

At the same time it stands as a chance to break free, and perhaps make amends whilst accepting that you can’t rebuild all bridges. You may have a second chance, or you ma go down with your excess.

You know, this was meant to be a bit of a rambling about the nature of toxic culture, and obsession, and hype aversion, and instead of going into that I start with something that’s way, way too dramatic for what I want to write.

And now that’s I’ve written that, I’ve derailed my whole thought process. What am I doing? Where am I going with this? Is this truly the path to success? I don’t know. Do I care? I don’t care. I don’t know. Maybe I do.

So I guess what I should really be doing is getting this back on track, but I don’t think I can. I don’t think I can go that way and do it and all that jazz.

Now I’m wasting time, and I’m reclining and resisting the urge to fall asleep. Not enough sleep and that puts me on a precarious edge. I don’t know if I’ll fall off or stay up, but I need to stay up for about three… or rather, seven hours. Cannot fall asleep at such a critical juncture.

I feel useless at the moment. Wrote something dramatic, failed to write something boring, didn’t want the former, can’t get into the latter and now I’m just rambling on into a ditch. Even one of the people that I work with has noticed that I’m feeling useless. Not great. Could be worse, however. AT least I can keep going; I’ve got that going for me. Just need to actually keep on going.

Need to not be typing so loudly also. Just need to keep on pushing on, and I’m nearly there and I’ll get there and continue on into success. I will continue on into the sunrise and find my way to the top of my monument, but with all those people that I want to bring along with me. All those people who supported me along the way.

And hopefully no burning or melting and then trying to rebuild bridges. I don’t want to go through that. I think it’s too much for me right now; especially when I want to be forming bonds and strengthening them.

But you never know with these things, unless you do.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 07:22:77

Bit of a weird writing.

Written at work.