So I wrote this thing yesterday and then I shelved it, and now I’m wondering if it’s worth finishing off and publishing. There’s always stuff in the pipeline, and recent changes have added to that, and this is related to those changes, but I don’t know if I should. I don’t know if I should publish it, or finish it. I don’t know if it’s worth continuing on. Sometimes it’s just better to send things to the bin and leave it be.

I’ll probably finish it, though I’ll also reshape it by quite a lot. There’s a lot of work to do and all that sort of stuff. But right now I’m not so sure.

I need to think more about things and I need to think more about where my life is going, so it’ll probably be shelved for a while. Maybe. I don’t know. I know that, at the very least, right now things aren’t great and I need to think more about what I’m putting out there. I need to think more about how I use my words, because it’s easy to think you’re putting out something that is, ultimately, positive. It’s easy to think that you’re writing something that might just be worth the time and effort, but it’s also easy to not be critical enough of your own work.

Writing takes time and sometimes you can just get things out, no problem, no issues. Sometimes that’s how it all goes and you get up the next day and you’ve got it in the bag again, and you keep on going and getting the things out and, hey, it’s all good. It’s all groovy. But sometimes you just can’t, and you need to think if it’s really what you want to be putting out.

In a way, it’s like speech. Though it is easier to do so, in writing it can be difficult to undo what is said. Words have power and meaning and intent in the heat of the moment might do more than one wants, or produce more poor writing… you know. Think before you type, and all that.

So that’s all I have to say. This sounds much more dramatic than it actually is, but I’m thinking about trying to express the power of friendship, and I don’t want to express it in a way that comes off as angry or petulant. I don’t want to express it in a way that makes it seem like I’m pointing fingers at my now-ex and comparing and all that, because things are never that easy and simple.

Well, maybe sometimes they are, but in this instance they aren’t.

I guess what I’m trying to say is I have this piece and I want to make sure that it’s honest, but I also want to make sure that it’s fair, and if I can’t do that, then it’s not going to be worth publishing. But we’ll see. I just need to keep chipping away at it.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 6:59:52

Not a good bit of writing, but it feels necessary at this moment.

Written at work.