Anger days have started. Was probably going to happen eventually. Probably. Now I’m listening to something joyous and jaunty, after a good few hours of housework.

The day has passed, I’m sitting here doing nothing, I’m exceptionally tired. I’m worn out, and soon I’ll be heading out. That’ll be fine. That’ll be okay. Something to enjoy. Something to get behind.

Some days are easier than others, and some days are other than easier. Sometimes everything is fine and sometimes it’s not. I’m still in the early days so I’ve got to ride the waves out. Got to get other stuff done, too.

A job interview coming this week. Waiting to hear back about the other one. Research tomorrow. Research and all that stuff. Preparing. Probably should’ve done less work today, but work had to be done and so done it was. The house is a little cleaner and there will be some more tomorrow. Way it goes, really.

But right now I’m relaxing, or at least I’m trying to relax. I’m trying to unwind and not be angry. Gotta head out and enjoy myself and all that stuff. Hang out with some friendly people. See some music and get on with life, and then maybe life with get on with me.

I don’t like this, but I like this moment. O don’t like that I’m feeling more outgoing and a bit more energetic. I don’t like that and I don;t know why I don’t like that. Maybe it feels like a betrayal or something. But it’s nice.

I think back to the last time I was dumped and I was a wreck. Am a wreck this time around too, but I’m coping better. I don’t have much of a choice at the moment, really, but in the last few days I’ve had more energy and I’ve felt less tired, though I am tired. But among all the hurt, I’m feeling better. I’m feeling more like being around people, and it’s great.

Of course more hurt is going to come. I’m ready for it, but I’m not ready for it. You know it’ll hit and it always does, but no matter how much you know, it just always sucks. Way it goes, really. Can only keep on walking, keep on moving, keep on getting on with getting on. All those things.

But today is a nice day, and it seems so small and quiet, and peaceful. It’s not and I’m tired from cleaning and not getting enough sleep, but right now I feel like I can get on top of things still, and maybe that wave that I caught earlier this year is still pushing me along, and I can still write. Maybe I’ll be back on track sooner rather than later. Of course, it always comes down to “We’ll see”, and I still don’t know if I’m going to be homeless or not soon, but right now I feel good. Angry, but good, and maybe that’s enough for one day.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 07:16:08

Bit of a mess, but it organised into something that made sense, or at least makes sense to me right now.

Written at home.