Another fine day, another fine dollar. What does this mean? Nothing right now. Or something. Or actually, what it means is it’s another work day, working to earn money, usually said in a manner that implies the drudgery of the process, but with a bit more of a positive spin this time around. Pointless. But also, not really.

The rain falls outside, lightly, barely visible. Moving toward a faint addition to a barely-perceptible breeze. How like life.

I’m sitting here, and I’m thinking to myself that I could just end the blog now. I could do that. I am still forcing myself, however. I don’t want to be, of course, but I am. I’ve too many things unfinished that I want to share here, and I’ve still ample time to get it all done… I hope. But I need to work harder at it, but I also need to want to write. I desire to write, but I need to want to write.

There’s probably no difference, but I hope that I’m getting across how I feel. I hope it makes sense, what I’m saying here. Because I do want it to make sense, and I want to be more clear in my expression. I want to be able to get some sort of expressiveness across, but I’m still too bound by university science essays to find myself expressive enough, and that sucks. It is a me problem for sure, but it sucks. But that’s the way it is, sometimes. Or not sometimes.

I wonder how many words it takes to truly write something. How many words it takes to produce something written. How many words are left behind as one gets to that point where they finally have a work that they feel is strong enough, good enough, everything enough. I wonder, but I’m not looking to dwell upon the idea. There are other things in this life to worry about, and I think I’ve more important things to worry about at this moment, anyway. But I do wonder, because these things are worth wondering about. But you can’t spend forever wondering. You can’t spend an eternity ruminating upon these things. The process of creation is usually relegated to time where rest is necessary, and so one has to be economical with what they have. And that I also try to do, and I try hard where I can, and sometimes it doesn’t work. Sometimes it all falls apart along the way. But I still try, and I keep trying, and I’ll keep on trying until I can’t try anymore. Once I’m done, I’ll try again and again and again, and once I’ve wrapped everything up here, I can have a long rest before I get back to doing more writing. But gotta force myself through the weeds and around everything, and cut a path. And I’ve got to do that in time I don’t have much of, but maybe one day I will. I hope that’s the case.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 08:22:57

More stuff about the desire to write or do something or something about something.

Written at Dirty Red.