A few days ago I went for a drive into The Blue Mountains for the first time in a good few months. It was an easy drive, as it always is, and it also provided a great deal of relief.

Originally my plan was to go see a friend I haven’t seen in well over a decade now. That didn’t eventuate, unfortunately, but I still made the most of my time there.

So I left early in the morning. Got to the M4 as quickly as I could, as is always the way. Drove out there, drove under the dark, wide sky, around winding road. Saw some other vehicles, but not too many after I got to The Mountains. And the drive… yeah, it was easy. I was running on low sleep, but I handled it mostly fine.

I stopped off in Leura to meet up with Andy. I’d messaged him a few days prior, asking if he was down to catch the sunrise whilst looking out over Mount Solitary. I get to his place, he was already outside. I grabbed my camera out of the car and we walked down to a good lookout, and perhaps my favourite in The Mountains.

We sat down and we talked about life. We talked about what had been happening in our worlds, and we saw some good colour in the sky. Mount Solitary felt as massive and overwhelming as it always has to me, though the more I see it, the less in awe and the more in appreciation I am.

We walked back to Andy’s, had coffee and talked for a while before I headed off to have breakfast, then go further into The Mountains to Mount York. It was as far as I wanted to go, and I had specific reasons in mind, and those should be revealed in a few days if my timing is good. Food was good and the subsequent drive was easy, though not without seeing some people doing some careless stuff in their car, and I was soon at Mount York.

I had seen a lot of people there around Christmas, and there were quite a lot of people there this time, too. It took a lot of the feeling of wonder away, seeing so many cars and tents spread out across the area. There was no quiet to it, no sense of calm, even if it was.

I had to use the bathroom but it was occupied, so I walked around for a bit. I could see into someone’s converted van, and they had a poster with chakras labelled on the body on a wall. I immediately thought derisively of them, and when I saw that the owner of the van was some white guy, I couldn’t help but be unsurprised. This is a bit mean on my part, I’ll admit, but I’ve found that a lot of people I’ve encountered who say they embrace spirituality, or cosmic woo, have shitty or shallow beliefs. Of course, this doesn’t mean one can paint all with the same brush.

I went to the bathroom, then went back to the car, got my camera and walked to a specific spot and looked across the landscape. It was as cleared as it always was, and still massive and somehow beautiful. I took my photos, went back to the car and drove back to Katoomba.

There was a bit of traffic in the opposite direction, and this is in part due to Victoria Pass currently being closed for urgent repairs. If going down the Great Western Highway, traffic has to go along Darling Causeway and continue the drive west via Bells Line of Road, unless they started at Bells, in which case, they wouldn’t be going down Great Western. But anyway…

And so I drove into Katoomba and got sourdough and stretched my legs a little, then drove past Andy’s, dropped a loaf at his, then started making my way back home, but not without another stop for coffee.

Though I didn’t head home. I headed to Killara, and that was a pretty uneventful drive. And this whole bit of writing undersells how much being away from Sydney felt necessary.

I haven’t liked Sydney for a long time. I’ve stayed here for others when I should have left, and every time I’ve stayed for someone, it hasn’t worked out. But beyond that, I feel a need to be journeying. I know I’ve said this kind of recently, but it’s something I feel in my heart. It’s something that is important for my health, and so I yearn to do it. I don’t like being stuck in a room or a house; I like to move. And I love The Blue Mountains. To me, it is a wonderful region. It has its own sets of problems, sure, but it speaks to me in a way other places don’t.

Being out there, feeling the colder air when it was cold, seeing the sun rise gently, being in motion, seeing sights familiar to me… it was wonderful. It was relieving in a way. It was far too short a time to be there, too.

I’ve been fortunate enough to get hold of another car, and this drive was partially a test, and it performed admirably. No complaints at all. This is good. It’ll be doing a longer drive soon. I’ll be back on the road, heading elsewhere for a few days. Once more away from Sydney, and hopefully getting a sense of relief from it.

And so now I’m sitting here, writing in a surface way about how I drove somewhere and drove back. It’s another small moment, but it’s a big moment, too. It’s big to me, but it’s more life. It’s another puzzle piece, helping to better understand things and what’s going on. It fits in snugly, and hopefully the ones around it will, too. And it was an experience I’ve had before, and it was all mine once more.

The time it took to write one thousand words: 19:29:34

Slow, but it was a nice slow.

Written at home.