The End of 2023

Posted on December 31, 2023 by Stupidity Hole

I’m trying to think of a way to encapsulate this year. It was one that ran as two distinct lines, but it was really tough. How do I put that into easy words? I know there is a way, but I can’t think of the words to use.

I guess it would be best to describe it as trying, but that doesn’t give a good enough idea. It was trying and it was hard, and there were times where I came really close to giving up, but there was some movement in what I hope is a good direction. There was some success.

I think part of the reason why I’m having difficulty thinking of the right words is that, even though there were positives, I’m drained. I’m tired and I need to rest, and I don’t know if I can, and I don’t know if I can keep trying. There are things that I need to consider walking away from; one of those things being Stupidity Hole at a point sooner than I’ve planned. I’ve been writing on The Internet for almost nineteen years, and whilst this space does not cover the entirety of that span, it’s not something I want to stop doing until I reach the point I have in mind.

Stopping doing things is probably going to be a thing I’m going to spend more time thinking about next year. I’m also going to somehow spend more time looking for another job. Hopefully I get an interview sooner rather than later, and hopefully it’s successful.

Will hopefully do more hiking and grow more plants and lift some of the heaviness.

I want to look forward to next year. I don’t want to be downbeat about it, but it’s hard. Still, I’ll keep trying. It’s just another day tomorrow, but I’ll still try to look forward.

2024? Bring it on.

 

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Five-Hundred Word Challenge 1333: A blunt reminder that customer service staff exist

Posted on December 30, 2023 by Stupidity Hole

Got about five minutes. Not the worst amount of time. Would definitely prefer more, but sometimes I just need to roll with what I have which is what I am doing now.

It has been a while, but I want to go on a bit about customer entitlement, and how frustrating they can be. In this particular case I am talking about customers who do not pay attention, then blame an organisation for their mistake, then, when the organisation tries to help them, starts making extra demands.

Fuck off with this bullshit. You are not the centre of the world, regardless of how much you think otherwise. You cannot convince me that your mistake is our fault. I’ve been doing this shit for far longer than you realise, and your actions to try and break me likely won’t.

Some of the people you are talking down to are already stressed out. We are here to help; we aren’t here to pat you on the ass. Go fucking cry elsewhere.

It really pisses me off how some people just don’t seem to understand basic concepts such as being respectful. we get that you’re angry; don’t take your shit out on us. We’re not punching bags; we’re not here for you to put anger into the world. You can’t undo what you say and you can’t undo what you do.

There are plenty of lovely customers out there, but there aren’t enough. There are too many who seem to think service staff are either beneath them, or not worthy of respect. I don’t know why and I don’t know why there can’t be more lovely customers. I don’t know why people have these attitudes. I can only guess, and I’d hope that I’d guess correctly, but I’ll never truly know.

It’s nearly the end of the year and I don’t want to remain angry, so I’ll say this: if you are someone who treats service staff like shit, be better. You rely on them for so many things. They are not beneath you in any way, shape or form. You may get far by hurting others and it may seem inconsequential, but all you’re doing is pouring more shit into the world. We are people. We are not playthings. We are not punching bags. We are as alive as you are.

I also have to wonder how many people have ongoing health issues due to customers. I dream of a day where there were actual consequences to customers being shitty, because then maybe a lot of people would stop. Maybe then things would be better for customer service staff. Of course I dream of something that will likely never happen, but it’s still something I hope for because people should be held accountable for being shitty to those who are there to help. Situational, yeah I know, but even so.

Anyway, that’s the end of my rant for today. Don’t treat customer service staff like shit. It’s easy to not be an asshole.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 09:44:87

Went over what precious few minutes I had. Still got this done.
Probably too angry, but it captures a moment in time well, I think.

Written at home.

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Five-Hundred Word Challenge 1332: A Sloppy Writing on Mystery

Posted on December 29, 2023 by Stupidity Hole

Tired. Still tired. Not enough sleep. hoping that happens tonight. Need the sleep. Need to rest. Need to not be working right now, but at the same time I nee to be getting money. Need sleep, but need to stay awake right now.

Well, that is an opening paragraph if there ever was one. I was going to write something about how it was crap but good, but that’s not a statement I can stand behind at this particular juncture in time. However, if this were later on in the day and I was less tired, then perhaps I could stand by something like that. However, I don’t think we’ll ever find out if I can or cannot, assuming favourable conditions, and I like it that way.

Sometimes a bit of mystery can go a long way, and sometimes that’s a good thing. I don’t know if it is a good thing here, but I do know it can be. Some things are better left unexplored and unsaid, and instead the mind should be allowed to wander. Maybe not all the time, but some of the time.

I think it can be difficult to know when is a good time to allow for more mystery and open ends and all that stuff, but I’m sure that with enough experience there’s confidence in when and when not to.

Sometimes I wonder how often mystery has been poorly applied. Wait; I never wonder that, but I certainly have thought about when a creator should observe the art of restraint.

See, I don’t want to complain about this. I don’t want to complain at all, but I’m now afraid that I must, for I feel compelled to do so. As such, I am now going to complain.

Alright, prepare for complaining.

I think too many creators are too willing to flesh out things that don’t need fleshing out. There is a great risk – especially when returning to a work much later – that a creator will develop things in a way that leaves them feeling off, or at least that’s what I think. I’m not sure if I can fully articulate how this feels, but it’s something that’s there, and it’s probably something that needs to be spoken about in a format far less limiting than this one.

Anyway, I have to wonder why this happens. What feels right to the creator may not feel right to the consumer, and how things can feel right may change over time and all that other stuff. Sometimes mystery should be left as is. Not everything needs to be explained; not every detail needs revelation. Sometimes a plot works fine within its confines and we don’t need things fleshed out and all that stuff and I feel as though I’ve said enough at this point and there’s not much of anything else to say, and maybe that’s okay. Maybe I’ll write about this on another day. For now, there’s little else to be said so I’ll stop.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 08:39:96

This is far sloppier than I’d have liked. I need to do this stuff on more sleep. Not less.

Written at home.

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Growing Away

Posted on December 28, 2023 by Stupidity Hole

I’m not sure if this is one tree or two trees. I’m fairly certain it’s two, but it feels like one that may have been split by some sudden force.

I hope you enjoy.

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Some Lazy Rambling About Today

Posted on December 27, 2023 by Stupidity Hole

I’m listening to a song about having a fighting spirit, though its meaning is likely deeper than that, but who am I to say? Of course I could dig deeper but right now I don’t want to. I’m resting and trying to enjoy some music and that’s good enough right now. Maybe later, however, that will change. For now, just rest.

Today was a long day and it was the good kind of long. It felt shorter than it was, and not much was done, and now I’m here and I’m resting, but earlier I was walking. I was walking through areas I’ve walked before, and going into spots in those areas that were unfamiliar to me. It was a good time.

I saw clouds as walls and I saw through them at times, and I saw beauty in ways that I had before and ways that I was yet to do so. I felt the rain fall as I walked, and though it was light, it was nice.

I’m trying to articulate how today was, and it was a good day, but I want to say more than that. I want to say something that could be seen as meaningful, but I don’t think I have the words. I think I am operating on not enough sleep, and that’s not good, but I’m still trying. I want to end the day with a bit of writing, and hopefully there will be more tomorrow, but I’ve no idea right now. What I do know is that I need sleep and I’ll soon have that, but right now I want to end things with words.

The air was cool for the most part, and it was nice. It was a lovely day and I enjoyed it quite a bit. What else is there to say? Of course I could describe where I walked, but maybe I’ll save that for the eventually photos. Maybe I won’t; it is yet to be seen.

I could describe how the air felt, and how the sound of an idea of nature reached out and entered my ears, but that is not something I want to get too much into right now as that requires more power of thought than I can currently muster.

I didn’t get enough sleep and I still went, and I don’t regret that, though I definitely want to go walking away from the city with a bit more sleep next time. I’ve done it too many times without enough sleep and it’s having a detrimental impact, and I don’t know if I’ll get home safely next time, but we’ll see. Tomorrow is another day, and so is the day after that, and so on and so forth. Hopefully I’ll be better rested next time.

The day was pleasant and the scenery was beautiful, and now I can rest and soon I will be resting even more. I’ll take it easy, though I probably won;t, but I do hope that I do.

 

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Moving Over the Ocean

Posted on December 26, 2023 by Stupidity Hole

A photo of the storm I recently took photos of as it moved away from land.

I think the monochrome brings out the storms’ heaviness, and I like that it creates a greater contrast between the lighter and darker clouds. I also like how it renders the water here as it helps to enforce the atmosphere.

I hope you enjoy.

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Space in the Rain

Posted on December 25, 2023 by Stupidity Hole

More rain stuff.

There’s a specific kind of feeling that seems to fall over a city area during the rain. I think it comes from people disappearing from an area and the implied quiet mixing with the rain itself.

I hope you enjoy.

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Five-Hundred Word Challenge 1331: Gloomy and Warm Day

Posted on December 24, 2023 by Stupidity Hole

It’s early and someone has started blasting music, or at least it sounds like someone has started blasting music. It is difficult to tell, but maybe the day will reveal more as it travels through a period of time.

It is not actually that early but it feels like it is early. It feels quiet and that’s nice. Well, other than someone blasting their music from a distance, it feels quiet.

Maybe I imagined the music blasting.

So I sit here. It is a gloomy day and it is a warm day, and I sit here and I’m trying to think of something to say that will provide some sort of sense. I am trying to think of something that will wrap up this year in a nice and neat way, but I’ve got nothing. Maybe it is too soon for me to be trying and I shouldn’t be trying to force these things anyway. I’d like to believe that I’m not trying to force them, but rather forcibly looking for them but maybe that’s the same thing at the end of the day.

I stare at the ceiling and as I do time passes. Time drifts along in a way and it’s all wasted, and whilst there’s plenty to do, there’s nothing to do. Sometimes that’s the way it all is. Sometimes things just tick away and you can do nothing but stare and drift off, and hope for the best whilst expecting the worst.

I think I’m being too dramatic. Possibly not, but I think I am, and I wonder if that really us the thing to do today. I think think of better things, maybe, but I’m sitting here and I’m wasting time. I’m drifting off and I’m drifting in and out, and I’m just wondering about wondering and trying to get my thoughts out. I’m trying to get something forward and I’m wasting time, but I’m also not and none of this is worth writing as it could easily be summarised as “today I’m feeling indecisive”. However, that does not make for much writing and, whilst it leads to other things, it in itself does not make much use of words.

Well, okay; it uses words well, but there are plenty of ways to make good use of words. Being concise is good, but so is being descriptive. So is going on tangents and exploring where they lead, but you need to do it in a way that is still effective, or you don’t. I know that sometimes I am but most of the time I am not, and I wonder as to whether I can turn that around, but right now I don’t know if that’s worth exploring beyond the surface. There’s still a lot of stuff that I need to do before work starts and I don’t have much time to get it all done, but maybe I will. Maybe I’ll get some exploring and certainty down in a way that’s effective, I hope.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 06:20:15

I think this is too scattered. There are parts that connect well, but overall it’s a messy read.
Maybe I would have felt differently had I shared it shortly after writing.

Written at home.

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Framing the Weather

Posted on December 23, 2023 by Stupidity Hole

Another test photo that turned out better than I intended, though probably not as good as I’d have liked had I not been searching for dust.

I feel as though I should try and say something that implies some sort of meaning in the photo, but I don’t have much of anything to say. Maybe it suggests something about how the urban landscape eventually takes the sky; about how it always lurks at the edges until it is the whole image, or something. I don’t know.

This is my submission into Leanne Cole‘s “Monochrome Madness” for this week. Participating is pretty straightforward and something I recommend. If you do, then include the tag “monochrome-madness” in your post. If not participating, then at the least check out Leanne’s photography as well as what other people submit.

I hope you enjoy.

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Anamanaguchi: Mermaid

Posted on December 23, 2023 by Stupidity Hole

One listen and I’ve been sitting on this song for a while.
I’d decided I’d cover it a good few months ago and kept postponing and that wasn’t a good idea, I think. I probably should’ve covered it when I wanted to rather than now as, whilst some of this came easy, I felt like I had to force myself to keep listening.

I think Anamanaguchi have some interesting ideas as well as a bunch of songs that work better if you don’t look beyond the surface. “Mermaid” is more the former than the latter, I think, but it also ventures into the latter. There’s nothing wrong with music being surface; it has a place, but I think here, whilst digging further gives a better appreciation for what Anamanaguchi are doing, it also reveals how boring the song can be.

Anamanaguchi’s “Mermaid” is from Dawn Metropolis.

I hope you enjoy.

—

A beep echoes into a space, and soon is joined by something that sounds like a guitar, and something else that sounds like percussion. There’s maybe a sense of the regal here and it seems like a pretty, if tense moment. It does not last long as it is.

The instruments fill out and move toward something a bit heavier and dramatic, and they move on forward, marching and rising. They seem to build but never do, and eventually they reach a plateau as a mix of joy and harshness. Something pulls away and the space is darkened and threatening to burst forth with weather-based violence, but then the space clears, if only for a moment.

Guitar comes in proper, or at least more obviously and it locks in with the percussion which seems to move as a disco beat, and they stay locked whilst the synth cycles around. Another pause of sorts, leaving the synth to move on its own, upward. A return of sounds and they all lock in and seem to call out before resting once more.

Last gasps of the sounds before leaving the beeping synth alone, carrying a tune through space and having some additions here and there. This seems solemn, or at least a moment of pause before rising up from defeat. Eventually everything returns and emphasises its seeming swing, and the sounds squeak and squeal and try to groove.

Soon they seem to move toward building once more before pulling away, leaving the synths to beep and screech. Noise here and there, seemingly shuffling as it sprays. Guitar and bass come in, thundering for a moment and cacophony builds before reaching another pause of sorts.

A return to the dramatic that runs in opposition to the screeching, and now something akin to a joyous voice is there. The sounds remain cacophonous, seemingly fighting against each other to control the mood. They do not last long and are cut short, leaving a beep and static.

A drone is there too, and it shifts and changes and returns, and seemingly around it something sparks here and there, and something rises and rises on a loop, and it all suddenly stops and the song ends.

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