So I’m sitting here on my lunch and it is raining outside, or it was raining, at least. It seems to have stopped, but I know it was raining as I walked through the rain, or in the rain, or immersed within the rain, or something. I’m not now, but I was before. Now I’m inside.
Inside is the place to be but outside is where it was at, but it no longer is, but it will be a bit later on this afternoon, but only for a short time. After that passes I will be traveling in a locomotive vehicle toward my destination of desire, and that destination is a place known as “home”, but it’s not always. Sometimes it is something else entirely, but today it is “home”. In a few days it will be “The Blue Mountains”.
There’s a quiet in here and a bit of noise outside, and that noise seems to be comprised of a multitude of objects and actions, and it all melds together into one indistinct thing that still retains distinction. Here and there is the sound of a motor seemingly bulging out of the noise for a moment. It then moves back in, and all is as was.
The sound of vehicles going by, almost evocative of the sound of a breeze moving through fields or around mountains – a sound I’m concerned we are close to forgetting – repeats itself throughout this pocket of time. It repeats itself throughout the day, and it repeats itself now, and the amount of repetitions in any given moment seem to expand and compress, but right now it seems quite consistent. It seems that way as I’m not paying too much attention. Maybe it is; maybe it is not. I don’t know. I don’t think I care to know either.
I sit here and I wonder if I am going to partake in self-sabotage, but I probably won’t. I’m just wondering, and wondering is okay; well, maybe not about this. I’m sure I’ll be fine, but I wonder. I wonder about a lot of things. I wonder about memories trying to find their way back into the present, and I wonder about my place in the world at large. I wonder about what should and should not be brought forth from the past, and I wonder if I’ll be able to help people when I’m in a better financial position.
I’m sitting here and I can see that it was raining outside, and I’m wondering about what I want to stay in the past, and I wonder if I can keep some people in the past. I wonder about how soon I can help others, and I wonder a lot of things, but the noise in my ears is playing and it’s playing something I like, and it’s different to the blended ambience from outside.
I’m sitting here and I’m relaxing, and I have concerns, but right now everything is alright, and quite frankly that’s something nice.
The time it took to write five-hundred words: 08:48:83
Slow. Not great. But alright. Maybe an easier read than usual. Who knows.
Written at work.
Stupidity Hole 