Five-Hundred Word Challenge 1294: Fourth Attempt at my Verbosely Rambling

Posted on August 30, 2023 by Stupidity Hole

This is now the… fourth attempt at writing something that I’ve done today. The first I removed for reasons I’ll get into son and the other two I stopped due to losing the time early on by accidentally resetting. Now this is the fourth and so four will be the lucky number (I hope).

So the first thing I removed as it was pretty weighty in ways. It was about giving up and wondering if I’ll be stuck in call centres for the rest of my life. It’s easy to say to someone to keep on searching, even if they’ve been searching for almost three years, but it often ignores the struggle.

Just for the record, I’ve my resume in a few different formats. Same with cover letters.

Anyway, sometimes that’s the way it goes and I’m tired. Need money, etc. At this stage I’m thinking I’ll just go to another job and make more money for less responsibility and just coast for a while because I’m done. I don’t want to give up but it’s getting harder not to, and that’s okay. It’s fine to give up because continually throwing myself at something and getting either no response or rejections, I’m really over it and I want to get back to living my life. Photography work is picking up steam but it’s slow and I need to start doing stuff now. I can’t keep on holding off for what may happen.

Now I don’t know as to what else I can write. I feel like shit and it’ll pass but I’ll still be wondering as to if I’ll have any money remaining before the next paycheck. I’ll keep on struggling and I’ll keep on hoping and little in the interim will change. I’ll also keep on doing but between an idea of success and now there is a lot more shit to get through and it’s just tiring.

Please hold off on the well-wishing. I get it, but it doesn’t help resolve the issues at hand. What I need is help.

So… yeah. That’s all I had to say, really. I wonder if perhaps tomorrow will be a different day and suddenly I’ll see all this success approach at a rapid pace. I wonder if there will be anything else that happens that will have things change around. I try not to wonder too much though as that doesn’t solve much of anything. Just keep on doing. Keep on trudging along and pushing and trying to get to the end of it all in order to see what lies beyond.

Perhaps it really is all this and I’m bound to stay where I am and I need to make peace with that. I don’t want to give up and I don’t want to make peace with the idea of going nowhere, but it becomes easier to do so over time. I want to keep on pushing on and I probably will, but the heaviness of doing so keeps growing.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 09:20:72

Not a great writing. Had to get it off my chest. Probably more productive ways, but you know.

Written at home.

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Akusmi: Longing for Tomorrow

Posted on August 29, 2023 by Stupidity Hole

Thus far this is one of the stronger songs from the album this song is from. It follows similar processes to some of the others, and even though the melody it uses is “short” in a sense, it does something with it that keeps things interesting and benefits the whole thing overall.

I went in with no particular aim. I had a feeling I’d be describing the song as it happened and that’s what I stuck with mostly, and I think that works here. I also think it would’ve been fine to go into some sort of tangent based around imagery, but that didn’t happen, so yeah.

Akusmi’s “Longing for Tomorrow” is from Fleeting Future.

I hope you enjoy.

—

Horns echo a short echo, playing out into the silence. Another comes in, in phase but not with the rest, then disappears. Keys roll in, as does bass and another horn. Some of that pulls away soon after but then bass comes in more firmly, or at least something more clearly bass does, and so does percussion.

The sounds stay still but the bass changes, altering the feel of the established. More percussion comes into the distance and steadily they seem to move, though possibly one brass moves out of phase for a moment, or at least seems like it does. But then it’s not just a moment and it always seems like it’s off, but perhaps it never is.

The sounds shrink and the percussion is more revealed, and something washes through it all, and then a bit more space. Echoing percussion as most thins seem to shrink and then a bit more space. It’s a cluttering of sounds but it is not overwhelming, and it’s brief.

A sense of cacophony now and the bass returns and its melodic loop continues, as does everything else. The cacophony is slow and still and transforming and it grows sharp in places and seemingly disappears, swallowed into itself but it’s still there. It’s seemingly languid but it’s also full of energy. Maybe hesitant.

Everything pulls away and leaves a few sounds to move in the quiet whilst a hum seems to hover for a moment. It disappears and eventually what sounds like a saxophone drifts on here and there, finding a place before moving to the next. Percussive sounds grow and extend between each other, and a sound that may have been a horn earlier beeps away, and maybe none of them were horns but it doesn’t matter.

Everything left soon comes to a stop and the song ends.

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Five-Hundred Word Challenge 1293: Some Stuff About Music Consumption and Some Shallow Criticism

Posted on August 29, 2023 by Stupidity Hole

I’m listening to this bit of music keep building and it’s interesting, though maybe it has now peaked. Not sure. Regardless of whether it has or has not, it is something that I’m listening to and already I’m finding myself bored but at the same time it seems a fascinating bit of sound.

I listen to a lot of music and I wonder if perhaps I listen to it too much. I’m not sure but I do have to wonder sometimes. Sometimes I wonder if it takes up too much of my life. I can do other things when listening to music but I do spend a lot of time really listening to what I’m listening to and that is what I’m wondering about. Could it be a bad thing? Perhaps. Depends on how much it takes precedence over everything else, really.

This bit of music pushes climax, or at least platitudes and now it has grown dull and cold, and perhaps boring in a way. It still is doing things and that it still is is interesting but it’s feeling much like one big dramatic moment after another. Even the “softer” and “quieter” parts are bombastic in a way. That isn’t necessarily a bad thing, of course, but I find too many artists and groups want to push that without really doing anything. This feels like a series of big moments stuck together.

The sounds used are great, I think. It’s a bit kitsch but it’s great. What’s also great are the individual moments but at the same time it’s just kind of dull. It wears out and I have to wonder if this had to be one big song. Why couldn’t it be a few separate ones? Maybe it would work better.

Maybe the group had all these bits that they couldn’t flesh out so they stuck it all together. Maybe I’m looking into this the wrong way and the song works fine the way it is. I don’t know and, to be honest I didn’t want to write about it right now. There are other things that I wanted to crap on about but this is what seems to be drawing my attention and so this is what I am going to crap on about right now.

Well, maybe not. This is my exit and so I can get back to talking about the consumption of music as an overall thing. Maybe I don’t want to write about that either but that is what I’m going to write about in what few words I have left.

So anyway the song is fine. It’s a bit boring but it’s fine and maybe I consume too much music and maybe I need to find a balance.

I love the ocean but I should’ve studied music. Maybe I would’ve been able to get a job that way and not be in constant fear of unemployment leading to homelessness. Maybe I don’t consume enough music and so I should consume more.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 06:35:60

I didn’t plan to do another of these today but it just kind of happened. I think that this reads better than the one I did earlier. It feels more flowing, but I also think this is too surface. On one hand I think I was struggling but on the other it wasn’t difficult to write what I was writing. Probably it was difficult to move from one thing to another. MAybe that’s the issue here.

Written at home.

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Finding Pollen

Posted on August 29, 2023 by Stupidity Hole

I feel like I should’ve tried to make the bee the main focus in this photo. It’s just kind of there but it draws attention when looking along the length of the branch.

Maybe the photo works better as the way this is framed makes the bee feel more a part of the scene rather than the focus of the scene, even though it is the focus.

I hope you enjoy.

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Akusmi: Neo Tokyo

Posted on August 29, 2023 by Stupidity Hole

This one was pretty easy to write. There were some parts where I got stuck but overall little issues.

As I was writing this I found myself wanting to try and get across the sense of a city on the move but I didn’t quite get that. I feel I kept moving between describing the song and pulling imagery but little of the latter came forward.

Akusmi’s “Neo Tokyo” is from Fleeting Future.

I hope you enjoy.

—

A bopping intensity is implied and it keeps on going. It’s almost like a coiled spring trying to release. Percussion sort of moves to the forefront, or at least becomes louder and various other sounds find themselves moving in and out, and the sounds both overtly and subtly shift to a lower range, or at least focus there, but it doesn’t last long.

Everything sounds busy, but it’s carefully constructed in the business and the reduction in percussion doesn’t change that. Nor does a sound descending, disappearing, then reappearing to call from somewhere high up.

Growing quiet, growing quiet and growing quieter. Disappearing and for a moment a seeming silence before woodwind calls out in unison. Calls out into the paused space. They seem to descend and hold tension, but things start creeping in and then the beat returns, though much steadier and much more obvious. Things build and the beat keeps pulsing away and, even though the sounds shift here and there, it’s almost as though they are locked in place. It’s as though they are stuck on a loop, and the intensity is there but it fades away. When the sounds shift once more and the sense of business increases, all of it has faded away as there remains a sense of space.

Most sounds suddenly stop, the percussion beats away but after a few seconds what remains also stops and the song ends.

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Five-Hundred Word Challenge 1292: Distracted but Moving

Posted on August 29, 2023 by Stupidity Hole

I was planning on getting an earlier start going this morning but I got distracted by stuff, but now I’m here and I’m doing this and I need to work out what it is that I’m going to throw on this bit of digital paper. There are many forms of rambling I could take and there are many things I could write about, but when I go looking for those subjects they are never to be found. It is frustrating, let me tell you.

Today I wonder if I will achieve what it was that I set out to do two days ago. What I wanted to do did not happen but maybe it will happen today. It has less relevance if done today but maybe it will happen and maybe that will lead to the greatest success ever seen by anyone ever. You never know with these things.

Alright, so I need to get things out of the way and I need to do this and that and then I need to move on., Yesterday very little happened and I was a bit wrecked, but now I’m here and now I am writing. I am writing and I am writing this and today will be more productive than yesterday… at least, that is what I hope. I also want today to be more productive than Sunday, but will I be able to do that? Will I pull it off? I don’t know, but I should try.

I should also get an ergonomic keyboard sooner rather than later, but that’s something for another time.

So I sit here and I crap on about wanting to do things and I know I’ll be patting myself on the back soon due to a job well done and all that, but I will keep on trying anyway. I will get it all done and I will move through the flow of time as I glide around everything and everyone. My story will become part of the fabric of reality and then I will know what it is that I am going to achieve today. There will be some exercise but there will be a lot of writing.

There are a lot of things that are yet to be written and I hope to write them all. If I cannot do that then I hope to write some of them and I hope to get to a point where I can truly say that I am the greatest at nothing and truly am on the path to become better, though of course I’m always on that path, or at least on the side looking at it and wondering as to how it is that I get on that path. It’s one foot after the other, of course but I only have two and so I need to get more.

Well, I don’t, but that’s less exciting. Anyway, maybe I’ll just hop on my bike and cycle the path or something. More exciting that way.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 04:54:06

I used to keep a diary and sometimes I wonder if the stuff I wrote in that is worse than the stuff I write here.

Anyway, I think this is okay. Not bad, not good; just okay. Could be better – there are parts where it’s clear I’m stalling – but could be worse.

Written at home.

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Akusmi: Divine Moments of Truth

Posted on August 28, 2023 by Stupidity Hole

Another one listen.

I think I’m going to end up writing about the whole album this is from which might not be the best of things, or maybe it will be. In any event, this one mostly came easy but toward the end I got pretty stuck which led to writing I feel is not representative enough of the song.

Common note patterns are used often for reasons and it’s always good when there’s some sort of playing around with them, but more often than not I find them to be fucking banal. People say everything has been done and all that but there’s always more that can be done. There’s so much to explore and work with and on this particular bit of music it’s disappointing that Akusmi decided to do a little dipping of the toes into the deep end here and there but then fucked right off out of the water.

Akusmi’s “Divine Moments of Truth” is from Fleeting Future.

I hope you enjoy.

—

Rhythmic the early instrumentation moves, and perhaps in a “short” manner. Guitar comes in and layers over the rhythm, and a pitter-patter appears underneath and alongside. In the distance sound stretches out but close up more instrumentation appears, and when bass finally appears the structure is given a more apparent form.

More instrumentation here and there, beeping and squeaking, and it builds and builds until some of it pulls away and the firmly familiar finds itself revealed.

Counter sounds and electronic buzzes cannot hide nor do much about where this song lies and so it follows a path mostly warn down. Still, other elements here and there keep the sounds moving through this gentle rendition and the implied weight looms over all, and it continues as such, occasionally straying from this path only to return as though uncomfortable venturing away, and eventually the sounds pull away and fade as the song ends.

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Five-Hundred Word Challenge 1291: This Wasn’t Worth Doing and That’s Okay

Posted on August 27, 2023 by Stupidity Hole

Went for another cycle and so I’m all nice and warm and so I need to take advantage of that whilst I still can. More difficulty writing when it is cold. The difficulty is now quite low and so I need to go on easy mode, or whatever it is that it’s called these days.

I can feel my hands moving in a way that they have not moved in a long time and time is seeming to slow on down as I rite this all out. Time seems to slow but I can tell I am moving fast as my fingers glide over the keyboard and hit the keys in a way that forms words. I am moving quickly and there is a low amount of pain and now I’m wondering if it has mostly had to do with the cold, all the pain I’ve been feeling. Maybe it has and maybe it has not, but one thing for sure is that I am currently quite firmly in the moment and maybe I’ll be able to get tot he end of this in a timely manner.

What is timely at this point? The faster I’ve gotten the faster my times have gotten and so a slower time might seem not timely compared to a faster time, but then what is a fast time in this instance? What is a fast time in any instance? It’s all relative, after all.

No time to think about all of that. Just need to keep on writing. Need to keep on going and see what pours out. My right hand is starting to seize up and it still is quite early on in this but I just need to keep on pushing on. I’m racing against a song and I’m racing against myself and I just keep on going. I need to take advantage of the time that I’ve been afforded and that is what I am doing. If I can write stuff in under four minutes then I can write this in under six minutes. Maybe I can write this in under five minutes. I’m not sure but I keep on going anyway.

Time is slow and I am in the moment and I keep on going and I’m not even seeing my hand so much anymore. I am seeing the blur that the y are becoming and I wonder if they will ever look like hands again. I wonder if I will ever be out of the moment but there’s no time to really ponder as I am nearly there. I can feel it. I am reaching and I am going and I am typing quite fast, I think, but I just need to keep on pushing on and focus o what is going on here in this confined space.

I can feel the pain min my  right hand spread and it is getting worse but I keep on pushing on. I am slowing a little and maybe that is okay.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 04:46:10

I wrote more words than I intended so I had to cut out a bit at the end but it didn’t really offer anything.
Really none of this offers anything but it certainly was fun to write.

Written at home.

 

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Five-Hundred Word Challenge 1290: Trying Something Today Again

Posted on August 27, 2023 by Stupidity Hole

Going to try and do something today and I’m not sure if I will succeed but I’m still going to try. Probably shouldn’t be starting this bit of writing off announcing that as it’s easy enough to say I will and then pat myself on the back and move on, but… yeah.

So anyway, today is a day of trying and hopefully succeeding. Of course there is no knowing if there will be success but that’s part of the point of trying, really. If I don’t try I won’t know and if I refuse to know then I won’t try.

Maybe I will try and refuse to know at the same time.

Anyway, I’m sitting here and I’m trying and slowly doing and I’m wondering if today will be an easy day. A busy day is not bad but an easy day would be nice. It would mean a more productive day, though perhaps not productive in the way that I should be productive. Still, productivity in terms of doing the things I want to do is good. It still helps develop things and I get some satisfaction out of it at some point along the way. Journey and all that stuff. Slow progress leads to complete results, but only if the slow progress is warranted.

Sometimes progress moves at whatever pace is necessary and is neither slow nor quick. I guess that makes it steady but any form of progress can be steady, really. It all depends on what is required and how it goes and where slack is allowed.

That’s all I have to say about that so I should get on with the getting on and start doing the thing and see where it takes me. Maybe it won’t take me anywhere but that’s still a journey of sorts. Stillness can be motion but it all depends on how much you’re willing to believe and stretch the concept of journey, but it’s all about learning and all that stuff. Maybe today isn’t about learning but all of it is about learning and so learning is what I will be doing as I get through things and see where they take me, but maybe there just won’t be any journey or learning at all and I have no idea what I’m going on about right now so I’m going to change gears.

Wait; I do know what I was going on about, but it’s just a mess of words that extends one thing well beyond what is necessary, thus wasting everyone’s time. Maybe it wasn’t a waste of my time but it certainly did waste everyone else’s, including mine. Therefore I’ve made a bad decision and should probably go back and fix it all up but I won’t be doing that. Can’t be doing that when the day is today and it all seems nice and fine and relaxed. Plenty of time for wasting time, but I probably shouldn’t as I want to try and do something today.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 06:01:77

Some of this is decent. A lot of this is pretty crap.

Written at home.

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Standing Silk

Posted on August 27, 2023 by Stupidity Hole

Another photo from the photos with fabric I took at the sand dunes (The others shared thus far here, here and here). I wanted to see if I could get some interesting photos of the fabric in the air and a good few of them didn’t work, but some such as the below did.

This feels vaguely human in shape in that it feels like an idea of a person. Maybe that makes it weird or off in some way. Maybe that makes it experimental. It was certainly an experiment, but I don’t think I was playing around with and challenging conventions.

Part of the weirdness comes in through how still the silk looks as it doesn’t appear to be moving. It should appear as though in motion but it doesn’t. Also, the angle helps with that weirdness too, I think.

This is my submission into the two hundred-and-sixty-fourth Lens-Artists Photo Challenge. The theme for this one is “Primary Colours“.

I feel this photo is a bit of a cheat, but at the same time I feel it fits due to how the blue affects the photo. A lot of people love a blue sky but due to its commonality it’s easy to ignore, which in a photo like this I think is a good thing. Obviously the subject in question is interesting enough to hold focus, but having a blue background sort of “eliminates” itself. It’s not something that sticks out here, even with clouds and so the blue helps keep the subject the focus. It also helps keep the image from feeling harsh.

This wouldn’t work as well if I’d played around with the colours and made the sky something different. In this particular situation, if the sky was red or green the image would feel much more harsh than necessary. Had I made the whole thing monochromatic based around either of those then it would be more “intense” but it would fit, but this is something I wanted to put firmly in the real and so… yeah; the blue of the sky works best in keeping the focus on the subject here, I think.

The host of the Lens-Artists challenges cycles weekly between the following people:

Week 1 – Tina

Week 2 – Patti

Week 3 – Ann-Christine aka Leya

Week 4 – Amy

Week 5 – John Steiner

Week 6 – Sofia Alves

Week 7 – Anne Sandler

Week 8 – Donna

Week 9 – Guest host

Sofia is curating this one. The next is curated by Anne and the theme, which has been announced in advance, is based around “Black & White and Monochrome”.

I recommend participating in the challenges as they provide a fun way to interpret theme. If not participating, then at least you should still check out what others of the Lens-Artists community are submitting.

I hope you enjoy.

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