Thoughts on Places

Posted on October 17, 2025 by Stupidity Hole

So I was writing yesterday and distractions and now I’m writing now. Funny how that goes. Anyway.

There are so many places that are transitional or transitory in nature. Places you go to but only stop at. You pass through them, only resting momentarily. They can be anchors, of course, but the nature of a location is only temporary, even if it is permanent.

I think that makes sense. I’m not sure. Sounds a bit arrogant, but I hope I’m getting across what I want to get across.

But yeah; places are temporary in nature. They have a permanent location and we get familiar with them, but often it is that we just pass through. We see and we understand and we navigate, but we do not lay claim to places we visit, aside from the time we are there.

So many lives move through malls and service stations, and most other urbanised locations anyone would care to name, and some of them have common residents, but so many are just passing through, even if they stop. So many lives forming memories going nowhere, creating spaces within spaces, forming amorphous bodies continuously disconnected, yet linked through the trails of snapshots of history they leave behind.

Space can mean many things. It is often thought of as place, and I think in this instance that is what I am referring to. But it is so many other things, too. It is scene, it is memory. It is expressiveness and nothingness. It is a form of guide and direction, and I know I can say these things, but I cannot expand upon them. But space is, and so is location. So is location within location. And all those other things.

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Shadowed Stare

Posted on October 16, 2025 by Stupidity Hole

This photo didn’t turn out how I hoped it would, and it’s not great, but I like the softness. I like the intensity, and it makes me think of being incredibly tired, too. Tired and stressed, perhaps.

I hope you enjoy.

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Five-Hundred Word Challenge 1540: Thinking About Things

Posted on October 15, 2025 by Stupidity Hole

So I’m sitting here in Duoly Rob, as is the norm of my life some of the time. Can’t be all of the time; just some of the time. But that’s good. That’s fine. And I like it.

This morning I drove to work from the other side of the bridge. I’m in Duoly Rob now, sitting here, having coffee and relaxing. I don’t feel a veil has lifted, but I feel good right now.

I recently started seeing someone. It’s someone I’ve known for years, and we’re not necessarily interested in a relationship. At least, not now. We both fancy each other, and that’s nice, but we’ve our own stuff to sort out. But we’ve started seeing each other, hanging out a lot more, being better friends, and there’s romance. And it’s nice. It’s nice because, whilst I don’t need it, I feel validated in a number of ways, and it’s pleasant.

Yesterday was my last day in USYD’s Business School, and today I’m commencing a new role. It’s another temporary one, but it’s more work. More pay, which is nice.

I think I’ve mentioned this before.

I’m a bit worried about my enjoying seeing someone due to it possibly becoming a crutch. I’m worried about going into emotional turmoil again, and maybe I will. But I’m not focusing on it. I’m not thinking too much about it. I’m sure they’re the same, because they’ve been through some heavy stuff and they’ve been through it ore recently than I have. And they want to make sure they have space, and I’m happy to oblige. Hurt takes time; working out who you are after mass amounts of stress takes time. Finding your  feet takes time. So I get it, and I’m still there as their friend. It’s the best I can do, really.

So I’m sitting here, thinking about things. Thinking about how I feel very relaxed right now. About how I drove across The Sydney Harbour Bridge this morning and managed to avoid getting stuck in traffic. About how I left late from their place and drove on over, and it meant parking was a bit less available and I got to USYD later than I wanted to, but I also don’t care. I don’t care and I feel fine with it, and this is nice. This is a good feeling, because I’ve been stressed about meaningless shit for far too long. Holding on to things I need to let go of, like leaving at specific times to avoid traffic, or having enough time before I start work, and subsequently leaving too early to ensure I have that time.

Stressed about being held and holding, and comfort and meaningless conversation, and that stress just washes away, and I feel good. And all that stress doesn’t seem to matter anymore, because right now, in this moment, I am happy. I don’t know how long it’ll last, but I’m happy and I’m not concerned about if I’ll feel like shit later.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 08:21:10

As I was writing I had this idea that I’d write something more poignant than the result. I like this, though. It’s clunky and raw, but not intense.

Written at Dirty Red.

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Underworld: Pearl’s Girl

Posted on October 14, 2025 by Stupidity Hole

One listen.

This is a song I like quite a lot, but never wanted to write about it until this morning, I think. Decided to go in, did it, and am happy with the result. Think I struggled a bit here and there, but everything seemed to come forward easily enough.

Underworld’s “Pearl’s Girl” is from Second Toughest in the Infants.

I hope you enjoy.

—

Calm and low, and smooth. Easy and gentle, and flowing. Focus, perhaps, or just a moment coming into view, into clarity, and that seems to be the case. Things grow more distinct and a looping blip of a voice before percussion begins its steady shake and strike. Bass builds, everything disappears but the percussion remains.

That bass builds again; it throbs louder, then disappears. And so on. And the percussion changes to lower, then becomes more full again. A form is established, and now the bass remains. A new strike around it, marking more of the beat. The bass grows and shrinks and everything is heavy, and then it’s just the bass flying over like a helicopter.

And the percussion returns in fuller form, pulsing, striking, shuffling, forming shape under a start, bright sky, or what feels like light coming in. Voice comes in, describing scene. Describing form and shape and interconnection and relation. Describing a lot of things, finding a line and following it through whilst more sound behind comes in. Sound echoing in a filling space.

A change and one word loops eternally, stuck whilst everything else moves forward. It disappears and the earlier blip returns, changes shape. It is disconnected from its source, and a light crackling of a soft sound before vocals return.

All of this is intense and heavy, but it doesn’t crush; it is light and calming, and mundane, and those sounds that started everything off come in now, and it all continues on. It all continues on and doesn’t relent, but it doesn’t hurt. It doesn’t hit; it washes over form and shape whilst creating it.

The vocals get stuck again and it’s just percussion, and then just vocals. Focus on the vocals before percussion returns, and the blip, and the percussion shakes and shuffles and strikes and is a punctuation of static until it becomes the sole focus again. For a few moments before those introductory sounds return, anyway. And it’s all calm, and pretty, and maybe everything has been obliterated. Maybe everything was washed away. Those sounds change, and realisation is there. Last thoughts are here, and the percussion disappears, and these sounds, clear and nearly crystalline, changing shape as light passes through them, looking at an open sky, appreciating the way light changes as dull light falls to colour and day, and the percussion returns. The percussion returns and plays underneath, gentle, suggesting, playing along as everything fades and the song ends.

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Five-Hundred Word Challenge 1539: They Feel Right

Posted on October 13, 2025 by Stupidity Hole

I’m sitting in Duoly Rob for the first time in a good few weeks. Think it may have been a month. Maybe longer. Yet to be determined. But I’m sitting here and things feel good. However, right now they really feel good. They feel… right.

The sun is out and people are buzzing, and I don’t mind or care. I’m not bothered by it. I don’t feel alone in a crowd. I don’t feel averse to being outside. This is nice. I like it. I still feel like shit, but I feel good. I’m enjoying this.

A good deal of luck and relief, and I’m going to write about this stuff. I know I’ve said I’m going to write about the recent downs and ups, mostly because I feel compelled to, but I am. It doesn’t matter right now. So much doesn’t matter, and it’s good.

I know I’m somewhere along a wave, but I don’t know where. I don’t know where and I don’t mind. And maybe I should be concerned about that, but I’m not.

Does it even matter? It’s good to spend time thinking about the future and where things might go, and due to my recent life upheaval, it’s probably good if I do, but we spend so much time being worried about everything. Don’t get me wrong; there’s plenty of things to be worried about. If things in terms of society and environment continue going the way they are, we’re fucked. But I’m referring to the personal, and I’ve spent so much time mired in stress and depression, and those will come back but right now I don’t care. Right now I feel I’m more ready than before to get back to living my life.

I spent eight years in a relationship I don’t regret it and now I’m getting back to living. I’ve got time to be comfortable and restless in a good way. I can’t see what lies ahead, but this is okay.

So where do I go from here? I think I’m feeling more relieved about this blog wrapping up. I think I’m feeling okay about life and where it’s going. Having space and having time is helping. Sometimes it doesn’t feel like I have time; that I have to spend so much of it feeling like shit and being paralytic, but things… things are okay. I’m fine with feeling like shit, and I think that it’s because I feel alright at the moment. I feel okay. I feel like shit, but I feel good. I’m hopeful, but not banking on hope. I’m okay to cruise for a while, even if I go back into a spiral in the next few days.

So… I guess what I’m saying is I feel good at the moment. I’m upset that I hurt my ex. She had justifiable reasons for ending the relationship, and I also did. And it doesn’t matter right now, and that’s okay. I’m okay with not worrying about what comes next.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 08:21:03

Slow and not really saying anything.

Written at Dirty Red.

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A bit of the Ring

Posted on October 12, 2025 by Stupidity Hole

Here’s a bit of the brickpit ring walk. Should’ve shot this better. Not a great photo, but a pleasant enough one.

I hope you enjoy.

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Little Pup Drinking

Posted on October 11, 2025 by Stupidity Hole

A photo of this little pup drinking.

Not much to say; I like it because it doesn’t feel posed.

I hope you enjoy.

 

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Five-Hundred Word Challenge 1538: With Possibility

Posted on October 10, 2025 by Stupidity Hole

It has been an absolutely wild eight days. Might be nine days, depending on how you count. And only wild in terms of what my life is normally like, but let me tell you, just full on. I’ve been meaning to write about it; to enshrine it all in order to try and make sense of everything, but I have not had the energy. I’m also not going to write about it in full here, because there are other things that I want to cover.

Right now my heart is aflutter with possibility, and I also have some wonderful news in my life. That news lifts the stress by a significant amount and I can get back to living life a bit more. Or at least trying to get back to living life. More feeling like shit, but less more feeling like shit and just a regular more, if that makes sense.

Right now I’m listening to “Nessun Dorma” (I know, I know), and things feel good. I’m not excited for the future, but I certainly am looking forward to it. I’m looking forward to what comes next. I’m looking forward to relaxing and a few trips, and getting back to living in a way that’s less subsistence and survival. Some comfort.

I’ve been practising bass a lot more, and more willingly, too. It has been a long time since I willingly practised, and this is good. A lot of the music I make is more rhythmic in nature and my guitar playing is also rhythmic, and I prefer to practise bass than guitar. But I still default to guitar a lot of the time. So we’ll see what happens.

I’ve been drawing more, too. Writing still is waiting for its time, and maybe I just need to give it a few more nudges. I don’t want to overburden myself – especially not right now – but things are becoming clearer. A lot of misery trudging to get hear. A lot of thoughts of suicide. A lot of pushing on and just continuing, and surviving.

I feel like survival mode finally lifted a little over a week ago. Close to two weeks, now that I think about it. I decided to do some extra prep work for some food I was making, and I did it. It took ages and I also nearly burned my fingers on oil, but it was worth it. Didn’t turn out well, but I’m still glad I did it, because it meant that I am getting through everything. I know that everything else I’ve been doing means that, but this really felt like it meant it. But so will the next thing. So will whatever comes next.

So… I’m not sure what I’m saying here. I am going to write about the past number of days, though perhaps not now. I just wanted to say that I’m doing okay. I’m doing alright. I’m surviving, and I’m also getting restless in a way that drives me to create.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 7:21:72

Easy write for most of it. Could it be better? Yes. But I’m still happy with this one.

Written at home.

 

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Bolts and Boards

Posted on October 9, 2025 by Stupidity Hole

Probably planks, but I like the alliteration.

I took this a few weeks ago and tried to get the bolts running across the photo, with one of the lines of bolts running from one corner to another. The space I had for this angle didn’t allow for that, and I think this works out to be better for it because it’s less based around a central line; the rest of the space still matters.

I hope you enjoy.

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Disappearing Face

Posted on October 8, 2025 by Stupidity Hole

Yet another reference photo, and an odd one. I was trying to be somewhat intentional with how I was posing, but also a bit loose. I didn’t want to come off as rigid and I wanted to be clear. I think this works well as an idea to explore. It would probably work much better with different hand form, but I think it still works well enough.

This is my submission into Leanne Cole‘s “Monochrome Madness” for this week. This one is hosted by Brian of Bushboy’s World, and he has chosen the theme “Ceramics”.

This challenge is open to all, and I recommend joining in. If want to, check out more information about it here, and include the tag “monochrome-madness” when you share your photo. If you’d prefer not to join in, then at the least check out Leanne’s photography, and what other people submit.

I hope you enjoy.

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