Under the Streetlight

Posted on June 6, 2025 by Stupidity Hole

This is the photo that was meant to be used here.

This is my submission into Leanne Cole‘s “Monochrome Madness” for this week. The next one is hosted by Elke of Pictures Imperfect Blog, and she has chosen “Naturally Monochrome” as her theme.

This challenge is open to all, and I recommend joining in. If want to, check out more information about it here, and include the tag “monochrome-madness” when you share your photo. If you’d prefer not to join in, then at the least check out Leanne’s photography, and what other people submit.

I hope you enjoy.

 

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One Thousand Word Challenge 219: I can Appreciate

Posted on June 5, 2025 by Stupidity Hole

A chill music day? No, not at all. Too much being extreme to extremely be. Weather’s clearing though, and that’s nice.

What am I going to write about this morning? I feel things are getting okay. Things are improving. I don’t want to tie my writing to pain and pressure, but I feel like I am and that’s not necessarily a good thing for me at this present moment, because I’m feeling better. Still a little lonely, but no more or less than I was whilst in the relationship, really.

I think that right now I might try and churn out a lot of words. I’ll do that. That is always a productive use of my time. If I can do that, I can do anything. Need to kill about ten minutes, maybe a few more, anyway. We’ll see how far I get.

So now that I’ve thrown down the gauntlet it is time for me to listen to all the vibrating being caused by my typing. Bottles are shaking, and so are glasses. My coffee is shaking. I can see the ripples move across its surface. There’s the low noise of bliss around me, and it’s a peaceful space. It’s a fun space. It’s a joyous space. This is all nice. This is pleasant. This is ideal, and I enjoy its being ideal. I’m enjoying this.

There’s a dog having a sniff, being happy, looking happy. This is all nice, and I feel relaxed. I feel tired, but I did sleep an uninterrupted sleep for the first time since some time last year. That was good; that was great. I’m still tired, but this is all something I can appreciate, and it IS appreciable. I feel a little detached though, like I don’t belong. But I like this. I’m taking it easy before I head off to work and I get to enjoy a moment in time. I get to be in this pocket of space and I don’t have to be something, or be switched on and powering on through everything. This is ideal.

The music is slow and not quite my thing, but I enjoy it regardless. It’s just easy. Duoly Rob knows how to draw people in. The staff are friendly, and in a genuine way, I feel.

So now I’ve said all of that and it’s time for me to spiral off and sink everything in the best way possible. Or perhaps it would be the worst way possible. The original path has ended and the new path lies ahead, and it’s all downhill whilst uphill, and let me tell you, I’d rather turn back. I don’t want to sink everything, but this is what lies ahead and so if this is what lies ahead then this is what I must do. This is where I must walk forward, and I need to do it in the best way possible in the worst way possible.

So it’s time to go down rolling uphill whilst downhill and take everyone out along the way. I can do this; I can succeed. I can burn bridges and paths and bonds and I can make myself a reprehensible human being. Don’t want to, but it’s time that I do. It’s time that I must. I can succeed, and then move on and disappear from Glebe forever. People will wonder why, and I know it’ll be due to the self-doubt and anxiety. I know it will be because I need to ensure failure and not success, and I need to do it the only way that I know how.

Actually I don’t know how, but some people think I’m a shitty person and who am I to say that they are wrong? Can’t say they’re right either, however.

I’m sitting here and I’m thinking about the friends I’ve lost over the past couple of months, and my ex, and I don’t want to be. Grief comes when it comes, but these are things I feel better about, in a way. One of those friends I am kind of sad, kind of not caring around. Helped them a fair bit where I could, they gave a vague, non-explanatory message about why they felt the friendship should end. It upsets me that I may have hurt them in some way, but if they’re not going to speak to me and try to work toward resolving the issues, then I feel it’s someone not worth having in my life. I especially feel that way if they were willing to take my help on a number of things, especially a couple of weeks prior.

I’ve said it before and strongly implied it too, but I value honesty. I value the people in my life. I am an intense person so I get that I get a bit much, but I still want people to be honest with me because I don’t want to hurt anyone. If someone I’ve known for years knows this, and then won’t be honest with me whilst still accepting my help, I don’t know if I have the energy to care enough.

But even though they and two others are on my thoughts, I’m still enjoying myself right now. I’m still happy in a way. I’ve gone through some shit and I’m not out of the woods, but I’m doing okay. I’m surviving. I’m in a position where I can work hard and improve and get into a better position in life, and so I need to maximise that. I’ve been feeling better and better since getting dumped, and I wonder if I’ll crash. I’m not wondering too much, but I am wondering. But I need to keep on working on myself. I need to keep doing what I want to do, so long as it does benefit me and doesn’t hurt people along the way, unless that hurt is unavoidable. And I can do that.

But for now I’m going to sit here and enjoy the space I’m in.

The time it took to write one thousand words: 15:46:99

Decent speed. Not sure if it matches the writing enough, but it was a decent speed.

Written at Dirty Red

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Akari Kaida and Yoshino Aoki: Thief

Posted on June 4, 2025 by Stupidity Hole

One listen.

I didn’t expect to cover as many songs from Breath of Fire III in as short a period as I have, but it happens. Anyway, just went for it, just wrote, stopped to think for a moment and then got back into it. Wrote slowly, but I think I captured the song well.

Akira Kaida (海田 明里) and Yoshino Aoki’s (青木佳乃) “Thief” is from Breath of Fire III Sound Collection, the soundtrack for Breath of Fire III. It is also included as part of Breath of Fire Original Soundtrack Special Box, a collection of all the music (as far as I’m aware) of the Breath of Fire Series. There is a soundtrack album called Breath of Fire III: Original Soundtrack that was released at some point around the time of Breath of Fire III‘s release but it was a selection of songs from the game rather than the whole soundtrack.

I hope you enjoy.

—

Quiet, clear sounds, preserving space. Keeping things minimal. There are steps and they vary in how much silence between, and they sneak here and there. They sneak steadily, and choose their moments of movement carefully.

There’s tension, but it doesn’t seem like it’s intense. It’s serious, but there’s a lightness to it all. It seems almost like some sort of joyfulness; some sort of comedic, but strictly light. The sounds sneak

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Akari Kaida and Yoshino Aoki: Can You See Clearly Now?

Posted on June 4, 2025 by Stupidity Hole

One listen.

Just jumped in. Realised I didn’t have much to go on but went for whatever came forward. Bit messy, but I think I did alright. Definitely captured a sense of what the song feels like.

Akira Kaida (海田 明里) and Yoshino Aoki’s (青木佳乃) “Can You See Clearly Now?” is from Breath of Fire III Sound Collection, the soundtrack for Breath of Fire III. It is also included as part of Breath of Fire Original Soundtrack Special Box, a collection of all the music (as far as I’m aware) of the Breath of Fire Series. There is a soundtrack album called Breath of Fire III: Original Soundtrack that was released at some point around the time of Breath of Fire III‘s release but it was a selection of songs from the game rather than the whole soundtrack.

I hope you enjoy.

—

Bit of a relaxed beat. Taking it easy. Soon more sounds come in as a mix of firm and loose. Some are kicking back, or rather they all are kicking back, but some have a bit more of a liveliness. It’s definitely a relaxed feeling.

Seemingly sunny, too, and the sounds float on, not a care in the world, or maybe it’s not a care now that there’s some sort of resolution. Stress has lifted. It’s time to drift along, float to wherever things may lead. Float along, float on, keep on going to wherever. Keep on going to wherever one is taken.

It’s a nice time and it’s a nice day, and there are plans and they’ll happen when they happen. It could be now; it could be after the sounds fade and the song ends.

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Five-Hundred Word Challenge 1507: And so on and so on as the day goes

Posted on June 4, 2025 by Stupidity Hole

And so on and so on as the day goes, and it flows on outward and the sun shines and the trees sway and a plane flies on above, and it is not brutally overcast, but it has been raining and the rain is always a nice thing when I don’t want to water the plants, so it’s a nice thing right now. It’s sunny, but it’s overcast, but the sun is getting stronger and shadows are becoming more defined, and shade and shadows share a relationship that makes sense as they are one and the same. And that is how the words fall out, and I think about how I wrote a letter last night to an acquaintance, and when it gets to them I wonder how it will be perceived.

Hopefully it will be read as something pleasant and I imagine that that will be the case as it was just a short and silly little thing that touched on what I felt writing could mean, and off it goes today and tomorrow it will be elsewhere. It won’t be with me. It will have gone and left and travelled a distance greater than I do at any given moment, and there’s something nice about that, I think.

That letter will see itself go through the air and off to wherever tomorrow guides, and it is no longer mine. It is something of myself but it no longer is something that is me. It will be gone and become someone else’s, as it were. That’s pretty neat.

It will get through this weather and hopefully find itself in better weather after all of this. Preferably inside, rather than out. I don’t know, but I hope.

The sun is getting brighter, so I’m going to assume that the clouds are clearing up quite a bit. But there’s still a bit of a pallid appearance to everything outside, though maybe that’s more due to designed structure, and how that carries forward as an image and as something to be perceived, and I don’t know how these things go, really. I can only guess and surmise, and that has little to do with anything and much to do with everything, depending on how I’m feeling at any given moment in time. Such is the way of the things and such is the way of life as it finds itself upon a point that has been finely designed so as to be able to make sure that its emphasis carries forward to wherever and whenever it must.

I think about the written language and I see the weather outside, and then I realise I’m just throwing things together and where they lead, I have no idea, but I do know that at the very least I can string words together and put them in handwritten form and typed form, and I can think about why one is valued more than the other. I can think about that, and maybe I will today.

The time it took to write five-hundred words: 07:06:38

Bit of a mess. Nothing else to say, really.

Written at work.

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Akari Kaida and Yoshino Aoki: Eden

Posted on June 4, 2025 by Stupidity Hole

One listen.

This is another where perhaps I was thinking too much about what I was writing. I think it turned out okay. Could be better; could’ve expanded quite a lot. There’s a brightness to the song that I didn’t capture, which feels like a missed opportunity to me.

Akira Kaida (海田 明里) and Yoshino Aoki’s (青木佳乃) “Eden” is from Breath of Fire III Sound Collection, the soundtrack for Breath of Fire III. It is also included as part of Breath of Fire Original Soundtrack Special Box, a collection of all the music (as far as I’m aware) of the Breath of Fire Series. There is a soundtrack album called Breath of Fire III: Original Soundtrack that was released at some point around the time of Breath of Fire III‘s release but it was a selection of songs from the game rather than the whole soundtrack.

I hope you enjoy.

—

The sound of birds, and everything seems refreshing. Peaceful. Easy. Idyllic. It’s gentle and relaxing. It’s time to take it easy. Time to take it slow. No need to rush. Rushing will lead nowhere, and this peace can be enjoyed for as long as necessary.

It really is idyllic, and wonderful. The sounds play their gentle steps out, and they carry calm with them. They present the idyllic in an idyllic manner. They travel, they rise, they fall, they have nowhere to be. There’s no rush. There’s no stress. Those birds in the background keep singing their songs, and everything travels toward silence at the song’s end.

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Akari Kaida and Yoshino Aoki: Falling Green

Posted on June 3, 2025 by Stupidity Hole

One listen.

This one was a bit of a struggle. Threw myself into it, got it done, but I felt very unable to say anything.

Akira Kaida (海田 明里) and Yoshino Aoki’s (青木佳乃) “Falling Green” is from Breath of Fire III Sound Collection, the soundtrack for Breath of Fire III. However, I believe that before the release of that soundtrack, it was first included on Breath of Fire Original Soundtrack Special Box, a collection of all the music (as far as I’m aware) of the Breath of Fire Series. There is a soundtrack album called Breath of Fire III: Original Soundtrack that was released at some point around the time of Breath of Fire III‘s release but it was a selection of songs from the game rather than the whole soundtrack.

I hope you enjoy.

—

A thin sound rises and rises in repeats. A gentle percussion comes in, thumps and plays light whilst other sounds push hard on moments and others flow gently.

There’s something kind of languid here, and also energetic. A bit empty and a bit peaceful. It’s as though playing to an emptying space, or a cleared space, and it plays with careful precision to fill the space, or try to, despite being unable to.

The sounds seem to ask questions. They seem to ask to examine and think, and they eventually fade into nothingness at the song’s end.

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Akari Kaida and Yoshino Aoki: Country Living

Posted on June 2, 2025 by Stupidity Hole

One listen.

I had to kill some time earlier today which is what led to the below. Just knocked it out, kind of happy with the result. Feels a bit guided, a bit aimless.

Akira Kaida (海田 明里) and Yoshino Aoki’s (青木佳乃) “Country Living” (“いなかぐらし”) is from Breath of Fire III Sound Collection, the soundtrack for Breath of Fire III. However, I believe that before the release of that soundtrack, it was first included on Breath of Fire Original Soundtrack Special Box, a collection of all the music (as far as I’m aware) of the Breath of Fire Series. There is a soundtrack album called Breath of Fire III: Original Soundtrack that was released at some point around the time of Breath of Fire III‘s release but it was a selection of songs from the game rather than the whole soundtrack.

I hope you enjoy.

—

A little drum roll before a nice little sway in the sounds. Bass underscores and guides, and keys play light. Woodwind comes on and over, keeps it all small and relaxed. Soon it’s strings descending and there’s a firm work in this. It’s a bit of hard work, and it keeps steady. It stays relaxed still, in a sense. Keys come back and reflect the woodwind, then strings again, and then the keys return and start following their own path, and the woodwind sort of compliments and contrasts.

The sounds start going elsewhere, moving away from the main melody more and more, and asking a question of sorts, or maybe just wondering about the rest of the day. There could be many questions, and there could be no questions at all. It doesn’t matter too much; it’s back to work, back to appreciating the smallness of it all. Knowing there’s something else out there, bigger, but it’s here in this small, semi-isolated space that’s not isolated at all that’s the heart and centre of everything. It’s a slow life, a hard life, and that’s the ideal life, and it carries upon the sounds as they flo0at along, or rather chug along, relaxed but hard working, and they eventually fade as the song ends.

 

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A Poem About Looking for the Right Words

Posted on June 1, 2025 by Stupidity Hole

Long day again. Going to be a few long days coming up, really. Anyway, decided to try and get something out that involved writing and it’s the below. It says what I feel I need to say at this point, but it could be better.

I hope you enjoy.

—

I look for words that fit together
As always they elude me
What is right and what is true
Is not necessarily the same

If I keep on searching
I might never find them
Sometimes it is necessary
To use the rough ones

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Akari Kaida and Yoshino Aoki: Sanctuary

Posted on May 31, 2025 by Stupidity Hole

One listen.

Don’t know what I was going for here. Was trying to think too much, and it didn’t help.

Akira Kaida (海田 明里) and Yoshino Aoki’s (青木佳乃) “Sanctuary” is from Breath of Fire III Sound Collection, the soundtrack for Breath of Fire III. However, I believe that before the release of that soundtrack, it was first included on Breath of Fire Original Soundtrack Special Box, a collection of all the music (as far as I’m aware) of the Breath of Fire Series. There is a soundtrack album called Breath of Fire III: Original Soundtrack that was released at some point around the time of Breath of Fire III‘s release but it was a selection of songs from the game rather than the whole soundtrack.

I hope you enjoy.

—

A peaceful sound draws long, feeling unnerving, off with all the bubbling underneath. This is a protected space, but it’s almost illusory. Gentle, fragile notes met with a sudden heaviness; a cold thud, and unnerving percussion.

This is protection, but it’s also clear that it’s not. It’s, in a sense, restriction. It’s a joke, a twist an undesirable one, but it does offer that protection. But it’s not desired. It’s undesirable, it’s cold and it seems to menace. It seems to force and press itself upon, and it fades out, leaving lingering negativity at the song’s end.

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